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3/20/2017 5:03:23 PM
Posted: 5/18/2002 10:25:00 AM EDT
>In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through >stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. > >On a Sear's hair dryer: >Do not use while sleeping. >(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). > >On a bag of Fritos: >You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. >(the shoplifter special)? > >On a bar of Dial soap: >"Directions: Use like regular soap." >(and that would be how???....) > >On some Swanson frozen dinners: >"Serving suggestion: Defrost." >(but, it's "just" a suggestion). > >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): >"Do not turn upside down." >(well...duh, a bit late, huh)! > >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: >"Product will be hot after heating." >(...and you thought????...) > >On packaging for a Rowenta iron: >"Do not iron clothes on body." >(but wouldn't this save me more time)? > >On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: >"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." >(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if >we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those >forklifts.) > >On Nytol Sleep Aid: >"Warning: May cause drowsiness." >(and...I'm taking this because???....) > >On most brands of Christmas lights: >"For indoor or outdoor use only." >(as opposed to...what)? > >On a Japanese food processor: >"Not to be used for the other use." >(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) > >On Sainsbury's peanuts: >"Warning: contains nuts." >(talk about a news flash) > >On an American Airlines packet of nuts: >"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." >(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) > >On a child's superman costume: >"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." >(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) > >On a Swedish chainsaw: >"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." >(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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