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Posted: 5/17/2002 4:42:54 PM EDT
We should all draw from our past experiences whether they be from military service, law enforcement, hunting or whatever, and list 3 to 5 general statements that we can all benefit from. You could list a tip on how to make a job easier, state a commonly held truth just for the record, or pass on something you've learned from an experience. Only rule is no disagreements, attacks or rebuttals on other peoples statements. I'll list 5. 1)You can sand down a piece of 2x4 to fit in your magazine well and use it for a vice block for gunsmithing. 2)You can never have enough Hoppes #9 powder solvent on hand. 3)Don't waste money on those rubber magazine covers, they'll fall off and get lost. Use a small black .5 cent rubber balloon instead. 4)If it can go wrong in the field it will. 5)For deerstand hunting in the north, take an old 5 gal metal bucket and slice 6 holes in it's side. Place a kerosene lantern with a low lit flame underneath it and use it for a seat. The heat will ventilate out the holes and keep you warm in the coldest weather, and the scent won't spook the deer (have had bucks walk right under my stand!).
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 4:56:10 PM EDT
1. Women will [b][i]always[/i][/b] screw you over!
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 5:17:26 PM EDT
From one of my favorite relatives... "Throw a rock into a crowd and you're bound to hit a moron."
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 5:22:38 PM EDT
* You can't have too many guns, but a POS gun is +1 too many. * AW's! I want more AW's![heavy] * Hi-caps! I want more hi-caps! * An unjust law is an oxymoron. * Gun bans make as much sense as the those who support them.[whacko] * You can't (& shouldn't) be nice to some people. Much less, elect them to office.[pissed] * [blue]AR15.com[/blue] is the best thing since the the internet.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 5:24:25 PM EDT
Any lane you change to in traffic in order to pass some moron automatically slows down, allowing the moron to further torment you. All people are stupid. Just give them time to prove themselves. Scientists and researchers spend vast sums of money annually in order to re-invent existing products in attempts to make them idiot-proof. In the meantime, the universe is busy building better idiots. the_reject
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 5:29:15 PM EDT
2 wrongs don't make a Right, but 3 Rights do make a Left...
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 5:44:08 PM EDT
Most people are shit. Most Dogs are not.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 5:57:48 PM EDT
Where ever you go, there you are.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 6:04:06 PM EDT
We all will die!
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 6:06:15 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 6:34:55 PM EDT
You start dying the minute you are born. Aviator [img]www.milpubs.com/aviator.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 6:37:42 PM EDT
No good deed goes unpunished.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 6:40:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/17/2002 6:46:36 PM EDT by Grock]
Fall down seven times, Stand up eight. The best way to avoid responsibility is to say- "I have responsibilities". We teach best that which we most need to learn. On a clear Disk you can search forever... what the catapillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly...
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:01:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:01:30 PM EDT
When approaching a multi-lane toll booth never get behind the guy in the Rennault; he's already made the wrong decision. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three do.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:07:29 PM EDT
Cotton Balls and Vasaline are the best fire starter know to man. Except incendary grenades and napalm of course
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:19:41 PM EDT
Ok, here is some personal tips I've picked up along the way. 1. Never play cards or pool with a guy who has a Nick name of a city or the Nick name "fats" 2. Any time someone says "trust me" it usually translates into "your fuked" 3. Never tell anyone anything you would not want to see on the front page of the newspaper. 4. Your lawyer still gets paid if you go to jail. 5. After year 5 a President has nothing to lose by pissing you off. 6. The most efficient governments are usually dictatorships. 7. I'd rather be in a stadium full of gunowners than a room full of Trekies. 8. It is better to be judged by 12 than carried by six. 9. It takes the Average time of 4mins to police to arrive to a call, It takes me less that 4secs to draw a handgun. 10. When you can't put a thought in their head, give em' a bullet instead. JerrY
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:21:14 PM EDT
The three most hated things in life you will never get away from are death, taxes and liberals[V]
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:28:05 PM EDT
Don't stick your finger where you won't stick your face. A hand in the bush is better than two birds any day.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:34:05 PM EDT
When in panic, fear, or doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:34:05 PM EDT
2 quarters are better than a 50-cent piece. [:E] There isn't a "cent sign key" on your keyboard... [shock] Real breasts are WAY better than silicon jobs; especially if they're big. [bounce] The rubber butt plugs made to fit in your AR's pistol grip should be shoved up the ass of the guy that invented them (...and you should get a refund). [flame] AR15.com is the best place to waste your time on the internet. [8D] In space, no one can hear you scream. [;D] Life is just a game; fly a paper plane, and there is no end... [whacko] [Ringo Starr]
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 7:53:43 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 8:00:45 PM EDT
If a man calls you a horses ass,Its just a matter of opinion. If three of your friends call you a horses ass,Get some new friends. If every body you know calls you a horses ass,Time to get a saddle! Bob [8D]
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 8:09:06 PM EDT
Drink beer the night before a deer hunt. It will dehydrate you and there will be no urge to piss while in the stand. Take water to the stand with you. You will need it because you had beer last night and you are dehydrated. [:)]
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 8:10:20 PM EDT
On Reloading 9x19mm (via Dean Grennell): The number of berdan-primed cases you will encounter will always exceed your supply of decapping pins by at least one. On Reloading in general: Published loading data is to be used as a guideline; common sense is to be used above all. If you're getting flat primers 0.5 grain below published maximum -STOP- you've already exceeded your firearm's maximum load. If you are going above published numbers, you're on your own, not that is always a bad thing if you know what you're doing. Ask yourself: Do you? Firearm maintenance: Do not put off cleaning or repairing any firearm you own. They are, by definition, lifesaving tools and should be treated like any other surgical instrument and maintained accordingly. On Woodworking and Metalworking: Measure twice, cut once. Err to large side, you can always adjust and cut it again.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 8:46:45 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 9:17:05 PM EDT
Once the smell is gone, you know you've got it half licked. [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 9:40:42 PM EDT
1. All civilian ownership of guns will be banned in the U.S. 2. ALL governments are destined to fail.
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 10:52:39 PM EDT
Never pass up an opportunity to take a piss. The only thins you gotta do in life are: pay taxes, die, and take a shit once in a while. No-one who is fit for governance will ever get the job - they don't want it. Be suspect of those who actually do... We don't use TP twice - why do we keep re-electing congresscritters? Once they have proven themselves worthless, it is time to dispose of them. Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an ax. There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over. After years of careful testing and diligent observation, I have determined that the Universe is composed of precisely two substances, ixed in varying proportions. Those two substances are Magic and Bullshit. Never argue with an idiot. They will simply drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. Likewise, don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig enjoys it! A zygote is a gamete's way of making more gametes. This may be the basic purpose of the Universe. When the wife asks how many cars/guns/whatever a man needs, the proper answer is "one more..." no matter how many you already have. This is why I have three Jeeps in the driveway and so damn many parts in the garage... A successful marriage depends upon two things. They are... unknown to me.... Always listen to experts. They will tell you what can't be done and why. Then go do it anyway. FFZ
Link Posted: 5/17/2002 11:44:17 PM EDT
No one forgets where they buried the hatchet.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 3:39:21 AM EDT
We make plans and God laughs!
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 4:57:26 AM EDT
A golf course is a sad misuse of a perfectly good rifle range. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Nylon holsters suck. Stunningly beautiful women are usually nuts. It's not what you once did, it's what you can do on demand.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 5:25:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Urban_Redneck: Where ever you go, there you are.
View Quote
Incorrect. I can never get there, I will always be here.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 5:43:15 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2002 5:49:23 AM EDT by SDavid]
When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in that rat bastards’ eyes, edited to add: Con games by mail are most efficient, your $19.95 stamped portrait of Lincoln will always be mailed the minute your credit card is approved.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 5:44:33 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2002 5:50:01 AM EDT by CavVet]
1)If you cant find time to do it right the first time, how will you find time to do it again? 2) Once the moron powers make a law, that freedom is gone forever. They make new laws everyday, but NEVER repeal any. 3) [b]NEVER[/b] eat anything that gets up and walks away! 4) IF she is attracted to me, she is a psycho mother f*****!!!! And 5, sadly enough was my personal brainchild in 1995 after an office debate with a moron regarding flying safety. It was put on my first webpage shortly thereafter, and I got a dozen calls last fall from people who remembered me saying it over and over and over.... You dont have to be on a plane to go in a plane crash today. [b]IF[/b] its your day, the plane will land on ya... I am sorry I had to see the day this became true forever... One last ode to stupidity... You cant protect stupid people. Wrap them up in bubble wrap, and leave them in their bed..they will just roll face down and suffocate.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 5:50:34 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 6:04:50 AM EDT
You won't hear the one that kills you. [B)]
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 6:56:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2002 7:04:44 AM EDT by ParaPyroPig]
-It's an imperfect world. -It'll all be different after the revolution. -The meek shall inherit the earth - when we're done with it. -Abortion stops a beating heart. Religion stops a thinking mind. P3[pyro][peep][heavy]
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 7:10:51 AM EDT
Everything a man does just goes to shit.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 8:01:02 AM EDT
This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. ====================================== Tyler: You know why they have oxygen masks on planes? Narrator: So you can breath. Tyler: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, your taking giant, panicked breaths. That leads you to become euphoic, docile. You accept our fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing, 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows. =====================================
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 8:33:11 AM EDT
Never trust a person that flatters you constantly. That person is a liar and a leach. A liar because you ain't that good and a leach because he/she wants something from you. When speaking with a leo, in his/her official capacity, always be polite and say as little as possible.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 8:33:53 AM EDT
W.C. Fields: "Tomorrow I will be sober but you sir will still be ugly."
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 8:38:51 AM EDT
You see sores and bad vaginal discharge, stay away. Smell is another clue, No one needs it that bad. Herpes is forever. Always have a stash of cash that the wife doesnt know about.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 8:50:01 AM EDT
Don't spit/piss into the wind. Be prepared when TSHTF (hypocritical). Don't get into a relationship to make someone happy. Unless it's yourself. CYA! Pi is exactly three.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 8:53:09 AM EDT
Only two things in the world smell like fish and one of them is fish. Next, click the "Tools" menu. There should be a picture of you there since you are a tool. Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'. It can't be stressed enough how important it is to have the shiny side pointing out. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat. The two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 9:16:33 AM EDT
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If worms had machineguns, birds wouldn't f$ck with 'em. DINSTAAR
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 9:20:04 AM EDT
Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesnt die.
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 10:17:03 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 10:35:30 AM EDT
Other than death and taxes there is one more certainty: If you sleep on the floor, you can't fall out of bed. Gunhamr
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 11:39:22 AM EDT
You can't save everybody.... just try not to be living next door when they go off Dennis Miller No matter how gorgeous she is, someone is tired of putting up with her bullshit
Link Posted: 5/18/2002 12:43:18 PM EDT
An appreciation of music and a sense of humor are among the things required for a happy life. Playing a musical instrument greatly incrreases one and does not hurt the other.
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