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Posted: 5/9/2002 8:48:44 PM EDT
.... about relationships. This was between three high school girls on a feild trip. They were 'seaking refuge' inside the warm bus. Any how, I got a kick listing in on their concerns about marriage and divorce. They were saying that the divorce rate was higher now since people would rather call it quits than to try to work thigns out. In the old days, they said, it was less common since people tried to work things out.... I think one of them was also engaged.... she was showing her ring around. I over heard that they wouldn't get married for at least 3 more years. Looks like the next generation is worried like 'we' were/are. The band instructor is only a year or two older then me and I'm just coming up on my 10 year. He's already married w/ kids and I'm not even close. I wanted to join in the talk, but I figured that listing (while reading) was just as good. They three were saying that getting married young/early wasn't really that good... since 9/10 times it would end in the big D. Mainly because the two would not want to 'work' things out. Hummm...... and interesting idea... will make poll....
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 9:07:10 PM EDT
I think ~24-25 is the right age to get married for most people.
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 9:11:04 PM EDT
How old are you??? I am assuming that you are not still in high school. People get divorced because they don't view a marriage as work. Once the other person no longer fits their needs they quit. I pick mid-20's, but that still depends on the individuals Sgtar15
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 9:17:10 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sgtar15: How old are you??? I am assuming that you are not still in high school. Sgtar15
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I'm sure Kaliburz was probabley the bus driver or something. I think anyone who gets married younger then 23 or 24 is asking for trouble.
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 9:19:22 PM EDT
Yup, I was da driver....... sitting there keeping warm, watching through the windows and eating my 'lunch'... (they offered some BBQ and food too.. the group the Jazz Band was playing for in the park).
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 9:32:25 PM EDT
"Marriage is an old man's comfort and a young man's disaster." Having said that, I must admit that I was very nearly married at 18 - and it would have worked! Problem is (for most,) that you can't fully understand what is involved in a relationship until you have one go sour on you. BTW - The reson for my not getting married at 18 had nothing to do with the relationship that I was in. It had more to do with the fact that I had to get away from my stepfather before I killed him (and the cops would STILL be looking for that asshole's head!) I finally married later at 26 (she was 43 at the time.) The key is to find someone with whom you have enough in common that you can talk, but enough different that you have something to talk ABOUT. I'm X-ABN and my wife is X-LEO (we're both retired medically) and that makes for a good conversational base. Most of our conversations on politics and philosophy centre around the andro-centric vs. gyno-centric views of the world, and we both usually come away enriched... FFZ
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 9:36:18 PM EDT
Is this the short bus?
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 12:35:44 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 1:17:04 AM EDT
Wow, this is a really good topic... cause I am going to have to think about this for a while! Thank you [:)]
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 1:48:44 AM EDT
Thats the best thing about high school chics... Kaliburz keeps getting older, and they stay the same age! [:D] -Jared
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 2:53:18 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 5:52:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/10/2002 5:55:11 AM EDT by Yojimbo]
My wife and I were married 8 years ago. I was 25 and she was 20. We dated for several years and really got to know each other. In a way I think we're an exception to the rule because both of us came from families that did not experience divorce. We have a strong commitment to working things out and keeping the family together is a high priority. This is not to say we don't have any disagreements or fights but we just don't let it get in the way of our relationship or our family. We have three kids and we hope to set a good example for them. I'm fortunate to make enough money to let my wife stay at home so we have a very traditional family life style. I think the biggest problem people have is expecting everything to perfect and without ups and downs. Hell most people can't even stay happy with themselves 24/7/365 so whay should they expect a marrige to that way. Again it takes two people to make things work so the marriage and the family have to be a priority to both husband and wife. When I first got married I was scared that things would change. Things did change but for the better, the same with having kids. IMHO family life can't be beat, it's what America was founded on but it's your responsibility to make it work...
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 9:38:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Yojimbo:
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You sound like me. I married at 23 right out of college. I'm 27, and will celebrate my 4th anniversary in July. We have 3 kids already (all three boys!) My wife is 18months younger than me. Both sets of parents are still married and we grew up in pretty traditional households (except for my father-in-law's alcoholism). Marriage is work, and if you're not willing to work at it, don't get married to begin with. "Divorce" isn't even in our vocabulary, but "love, humility, and sacrifice" are. I think age doesn't matter as much as an individual's maturity and responsibility. How many folks in the 1940s and 50s got married at age 18 and were married "unto death" some 50 years later? I think maturity and responsibility do not necessarily come with age (I've known some 35y.o guys who were about as mature as 15y.o. boys), but from how a person is raised.
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