Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred out of town and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.

A woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?" They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought.

They all agreed and she said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round. The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her.

Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said, "Sure, I'll be here at
6:30 or 6:45."

Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

She said, "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude.

If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointed to the left, golf left-handed."

One of the guys asked, "What if it's pointed straight up?"

She said, "Then I'll be here at 6:45."


[:D]  [:D]  [:D]

I'd play golf more if I got to use this:

[url]http://faxworldcom.com/lgweap/ad_sheets/gfa.htm[/url]

I can honestly say that I have yet to play the game of Golf in a sober state.

A guy comes into the 19th hole with his head bleeding above his eye.The "hole tender" says what happened to your eye there fella? The fella says I was trying to play through a 4- some of women on the 17th. One had hit into the rough and they all were looking for a ball. I saw a cow standing pretty close to where the woman said she hit. As the cows tail swished from side to side I saw something white. I walked over and lifted the tail and sure enough a ball was stuck in the cows ass so I said "hey lady does this look like yours"? The bitch hit me with her 9 iron! [:D]

this guy misses tee time and ends up playing with three nuns. so he waits for his turn, sets up for his shot, takes his swing and hooks it. "godd*mn, stupid ball!" he goes.

one of the nuns approach him and says in an authoritative voice. "excuse me young man, dont you realize that you are playing with nuns here? we dont appreciate that kind of language! you WILL refrain from speaking like that again!"
he says, "im so sorry sisters. i was just frustrated by how terrible my shot was. it wont happen again."

after everything calms down, she sets up her shot. takes her swing, and SWOOSH! terrible slice.

"well that stupid sonofabitchin' ball!!" she says.  the guy is livid.  "sister, you just chastized me for speaking like a dockworker and here you are doing the exact same thing! whats up with that huh?"

"well," the nun goes, "your fuc*%^ng ball didnt hit that motherf*$%ng tree now did it?"