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Posted: 5/1/2002 6:31:23 PM EDT
Guys, I know this is going to sound a bit crazy, but I'm certain this is true. I've been doing some research these last few days and have brewed many a pot of tea in preparation for publishing my findings. Be prepared. Question: How does tea brew? Hypothesis: It brews because the heat of the water pulls out the flavor. Test Preparation: 2 500ml beaker, 1 tea bag lipton black tea, 1 tea bag green tea, 1000 ml water heated to 212 degrees F. Control: 1 Lipton plain black tea bag. Variable: 1 Yamamoto Green Tea Bag Procedure: Place Tea bag into beaker and pour 450ml of the water onto bag. Test Results: I placed the lipton tea bag into the beaker and proceeded to pour the hot water onto the bag. I noticed a slight discoloration to the water immediately and then over the period of 4 minutes it got progressively darker. I did the same with the yamamoto tea bag. Both brewed equally, however, one was dark the other green. Observation: I took some samples of the tea water to count the amount of flavor particuls present. When placed on a slide under a microscope at 4000x magnification I discovered a curious phenomenom. I discovered a simian like creature, with large genitilia swimming amongst my tea water. I watched for over 72 hours. Research into the mysterious phenomenom: It seems, unbeknownst to us, that Lipton, Yamamoto and various other Tea Producers have been slipping us a lie. Tea is not brewed alone with just hot water, in fact, according to my research, it never has been. Tea is common carrier of "Leprechaunis Big-Dickamus" a name I coined for a parasite that strangly resembles a commmon Leprechaun as seen in various childrens storybooks. In order for tea to brew, it would have to have been pollinated with this form of bacterium before it would release it's flavoring agents. After taking a few samples from the wild, I came to the conclusion that Leprechaunis Big-Dickamus is now only present in commercial produced Tea. [b]CONT[/b]
Link Posted: 5/1/2002 6:32:23 PM EDT
Behavioral Studies of Leprechaunis Big-Dickamus: It seems, fresh from the package, that Leprechaunis is in a sort of suspended animation, or even freeze dried. When reconstituted Leprechaunis is placed on dry tea it begins to break down and form a sort of mold, so the freeze treatment is not without reason. After coming into contact with water above 180 degrees F Leprechaunis is then brought back to life and proceeds to work it's function. It activates relatively quickly and begins working by using a large phallic like instrument attached near the center to smash into the bits of tea and other Leprechaunis Big-Dickamus. The result seems to be the release of the flavoring agents in the tea. The flavor particuls have somewhat the same effect blood has on sharks, it drives them into a frenzy. Flavor particuls released cause more activity causing more particuls to be released in a rapid cycle. Eventually, after about 3-8 minutes, the activity gets to the point where the Leprechaunis Bid-Dickamus uses up all it's energy, and thus dies. Conclusion: Ladies, Gentlemen, Laymen, and Womenz... I have done this study over the last month and I am sure you will see the merit of my work. Further inquiry into the Lipton company and the Yamamoto company has resulted in a resounding "No Comment" and threats have been made upon my life. However, I assure this work is true and factual and has history to support it. The Boston Tea Party was not a "Tax Protest" it was an "Animal Rights Protest". They were trying to free what they called at the time "Limeys" and they dressed like indians to show their support of the natural use of land the Indian way of life had always represented. Any further research, whether done privately or pubically can be posted here, I will keep you updated as I try and discover what exactly is in the tea that stimulates such fanatic behavior. Thank you. Copyright: 2002, Uh-Kuh-Gah-Yuh Research Laboratories.
Link Posted: 5/1/2002 6:35:12 PM EDT
There are decaffeinated brands that taste just as good as the real thing...
Link Posted: 5/1/2002 6:35:25 PM EDT
Dude you have way too much time on your hands. My wife says just throw some tee bags in a large jar, put it out side until it reaches the appropriate color.
Link Posted: 5/1/2002 6:36:01 PM EDT
Uhhh yeah. We know what you have been drinking, but what the hell have you been smoking?
Link Posted: 5/1/2002 6:48:43 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/2/2002 7:27:08 AM EDT
Hmmm, many a super-villain has come into existance by being disfigured in some form of chemical solution. (The Joker, Two Face, Poison Ivy, Mr Freeze etc...) OR... could it be all the mental torture subjected upon him by his captors as his is forced into indentured service in an underground weapons plant. we don't know exactly what was in this "solution" or the extent of the mental abuse, but we may be witnessing the transformation from mild mannered mall ninja into a new [i]SUPER VILLAIN[/i]
Link Posted: 5/2/2002 7:29:47 AM EDT
Yeah, how is your hand doing? Did you ever takes pictures?
Link Posted: 5/2/2002 7:34:32 AM EDT
Oh, no! Now he's morphed into the TEA NINJA!
Link Posted: 5/2/2002 7:37:25 AM EDT
Got some pretty cool painkillers for the hand, hmmm? [whacko]
Link Posted: 5/2/2002 8:43:18 AM EDT
Fool. What you saw was a nanobot. See [url]http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?id=93940[/url] for details and remember to avoid pancakes.
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