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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:52:55 AM EDT
My wife is going to some company lunch tomorrow, and needs to bring a "white elephant" gift.
Her impression is that it can be either a funny amusing kind of gag gift, or it can actually be something useful/nice, like a bottle of wine or something. But she's not sure what to get, and has never had to buy this kind of "white elephant" gift before. So I told her that I would ask my vast horde of imaginary on-line friends, and that they would come up with awesome ideas. 
Btw - please note that it's TOMORROW, so unfortunately she will not be able to order something hilarious on-line (my first suggestion was of course the creepy horse head mask  , or something from thinkgeek.com). However, there are lots of stores and malls nearby, including a Brookstone store, I believe, so she should be able to find lots of different things.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:54:09 AM EDT
[#1]
Wooden shoes?
 ETA: If this is a "dirty Santa" type thing where they can swap/steal each others' gifts (we do that at my office party every year), I like to wrap up some craptacular dollar-store item but hide a decent gift card, etc. within the crappy gift. We have a lot of fun with it every year. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:54:35 AM EDT
[#2]
Shake weight is a few dollars more
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:55:49 AM EDT
[#3]
I have learned over the years that there is "funny" funny and there is "ARFCOM" funny.
That said, a plastic tub of Heineken should be about $25 |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:56:00 AM EDT
[#4]
Go in the attic, basement or garage and find the stupidest thing you own. Funky, rude or funny is good. Don't spend a dime. Seriously.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:56:04 AM EDT
[#5]
this is what I gave at my party, it was stolen several times during the first round. Saw it here first on arfcom a couple months ago.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:57:02 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
this is what I gave at my party, it was stolen several times during the first round. Saw here first on arfcom a couple months ago. http://static.jokes-db.com/img/funnypictures/objects/the_avenging_narwhal_play_set.jpg So much win. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:58:18 AM EDT
[#7]
The last white elephant I brought a porno. The girl on the cover was a dead ringer for someone at the party. I must have gotten stolen like 20 times. I forgot who wound up with it but it wasn't her. There wasn't another one this year.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:58:18 AM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:58:33 AM EDT
[#9]
Tell her to go to the thrift shops and get something bizarre. I once gave a 10' tall portrait of Jesus that I found at the Salvation Army for $20. There was a stuffed cat that was given every year as a White Elephant gift at my old company. It wasn't like a stuffed animal, it was a taxidermied house cat. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:58:37 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
this is what I gave at my party, it was stolen several times during the first round. Saw here first on arfcom a couple months ago. http://static.jokes-db.com/img/funnypictures/objects/the_avenging_narwhal_play_set.jpg Win! |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:58:43 AM EDT
[#11]
Snuggie
Ouija board Singing fish Down pillow |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:58:45 AM EDT
[#12]
A lucite toilet seat full of seashells etc.
We have a padded flesh-toned toilet seat that has big lips printed in the vinyl it when you open it up, sort of like the Rolling Stones logo. Whenever a relative or friend got married, we'd hide it in a gift pile with a card with a made up name along with our real gift.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:59:04 AM EDT
[#13]
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:59:08 AM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 12/14/2010 11:59:45 AM EDT
[#15]
Go to walmart and get a gallon jug of mayonaise for WAY less than $25. More like $6
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:01:02 PM EDT
[#16]
Put a $20 bill in a Victoria's Secret gift bag. Works great.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:01:21 PM EDT
[#17]
Useful gift: Zippo lighter.
Most are available under $20. The ones with silk screened logos usually aren't that much more; you can find NFL team logo'd lighters for $25-30. They're a classic so even if one does not smoke they are likely to appreciate it. I have never smoked cigarettes in my life but I carry my 1996 era Zippo daily. They are available for purchase at many stores (including "gift shops" at the mall) so you don't have to mail order them. Last, they are made in the USA so you will be demonstrating loyalty to the country that is now your home (and yet, will not let you purchase a CMP Garand). 
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:13:00 PM EDT
[#18]
My wife had to do this over the weekend for her company party.
She bought a Justin Beiber doll. It was awesome. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:16:32 PM EDT
[#19]
camo snuggy and package of peppered beef jerky
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:16:35 PM EDT
[#20]
Go to walmart, CVS, Walgreens, etc and get a snuggie for the local sports team.
Your wife will enjoy watching people fight for it in all its ridiculousness. ETA...3 seconds, due to caring about the spelling of "ridiculousness". |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:17:40 PM EDT
[#21]
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:19:08 PM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:20:04 PM EDT
[#23]
Bean bag chair
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:21:32 PM EDT
[#24]
Don't go to White Elephant parties.
 In the end, you spent $25, the greedy asshole comes out of people, people don't put ANY thought in their gift ideas, the party is ruined and you're stuck with a shit gift trying to act grateful. Fuck. That. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:23:27 PM EDT
[#25]
What everyone really wants is booze.
What will be the most fun are any of the suggestions above. I always end up with something that sucks. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:24:17 PM EDT
[#26]
Institutional size can of chocolate pudding.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:25:23 PM EDT
[#27]
Quoted: What everyone really wants is booze. What will be the most fun are any of the suggestions above. I always end up with something that sucks. Last time I went, I bought a nice FSU coffee cup with matching thermos. I left with used scented candles and a used Boba Fett action figure.  |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:28:30 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Quoted:
What everyone really wants is booze. What will be the most fun are any of the suggestions above. I always end up with something that sucks. Last time I went, I bought a nice FSU coffee cup with matching thermos. I left with used scented candles and a used Boba Fett action figure.
Well, that's what you get for being an FSU fan. Go Gators! *chomp*
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:28:54 PM EDT
[#29]
"A Christmas Story" DVD. $10 at Wal Mart.
It's what I got for the party last weekend. Everybody wants to see Ralphie shoot his eye out. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:29:04 PM EDT
[#30]
Buy a small rubber tree and print pictures of midgets to tie to the branches with glittery ribbon.
I got this once. So much win for me. |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:33:04 PM EDT
[#31]
A nice Christmas ornament. Some nice Coffee A handle of Smirnoff vodka. ( remember this is the holidays) A chia pet |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:38:00 PM EDT
[#32]
Quoted: Better than the Gators' jean shorts and dip-stained wifebeater. Quoted: Quoted: What everyone really wants is booze. What will be the most fun are any of the suggestions above. I always end up with something that sucks. Last time I went, I bought a nice FSU coffee cup with matching thermos. I left with used scented candles and a used Boba Fett action figure. Well, that's what you get for being an FSU fan. Go Gators! *chomp* |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:39:04 PM EDT
[#33]
Anything with a Confederate Flag on it; maybe an assortment of gifts with a Confederate Flag on them. Videotape the uncomfortableness.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:39:08 PM EDT
[#34]
Snuggie with your university/college theme
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:39:19 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
What everyone really wants is booze. What will be the most fun are any of the suggestions above. I always end up with something that sucks. Last time I went, I bought a nice FSU coffee cup with matching thermos. I left with used scented candles and a used Boba Fett action figure.
Well, that's what you get for being an FSU fan. Go Gators! *chomp* 
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:40:10 PM EDT
[#36]
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:41:10 PM EDT
[#37]
Go to your closest ghetto auto parts store and buy a set of curb feelers.
ETA: The best present I ever got at one of those things was a machete! Can't fucking beat a machete! |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:47:08 PM EDT
[#38]
1/8" steel plate + $20 cash + welder + drill some holes in it so they can see whats inside the welded up box = profit watching them vie for $20 + profit watching them try to figure out how to get the damn money out of there.
My family thought it was kinda funny 
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:52:28 PM EDT
[#39]
A note saying you donated $25 in their name to "The Human Fund".
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:55:22 PM EDT
[#40]
I just gave a Wild Turkey 101 gift box (750 + two glasses, I think it was $15), check your local liquor store for similar items in your price range.
I received a table-mounted dildo and throwing rings (pin the ring on the penis), a leftover from a coworker's bachelorette party. 
Kharn |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:57:01 PM EDT
[#41]
DVD of Brokeback Mountain, a bottle of lube, a banana hammock, and a 6pack of Zima.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 12:57:17 PM EDT
[#42]
This was our last:
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Posted: 12/14/2010 1:25:35 PM EDT
[#43]
Last year I printed out the official Presidential photo of Obama then put it in a frame and wrapped it up. The receiver didn't know if I was serious and I played like I was, everyone else was rolling on the floor. Never did see that pic after that night. It was good for some mileage because when I went by his office I would check for it and the poor guy would always get up and meet me at the door so I never got inside to see if he hung it.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 1:26:43 PM EDT
[#44]
Two 40ozs of malt liquor
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Posted: 12/14/2010 1:28:21 PM EDT
[#45]
Quoted:
A note saying you donated $25 in their name to "The Human Fund" local Republican party. . fixed 
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Posted: 12/14/2010 1:29:36 PM EDT
[#46]
Lawn Flamingo.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 1:30:30 PM EDT
[#47]
Bourbon is always popular.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 3:14:56 PM EDT
[#48]
Thanks for all the ideas so far.
btt |
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Posted: 12/14/2010 3:16:47 PM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
"A Christmas Story" DVD. $10 at Wal Mart. It's what I got for the party last weekend. Everybody wants to see Ralphie shoot his eye out. OMG - I've got one of those (the 2-disc special edition) STILL IN THE WRAPPER that someone gave me a few years ago as a regular gift. I'm totally going to try to talk her into using it.
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Posted: 12/14/2010 3:22:26 PM EDT
[#50]
I usually go with a fed bulk pack at our familiy's white elephant thingy. That way I usually get it for myself since almost no one ever wants it. One year my old man stole it from me just to get under my skin.
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