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Posted: 9/10/2010 7:30:20 PM EDT
I went to the mall earlier today to get some dinner, pizza specifically, and I was told when I got there it would be another ten minutes, so I started walking around.

Do you guys know those little tables that small buisness' like to set up in the middle of the hall? Well I was passing a few of them, and I had the foreigner of one of the tables, with the accent where you can't understand what the hell they are saying, to pull me aside. She was trying to sell me those stupid things that polish your finger nails, and give you a little manicure. So I figured what the hell, fine. I knew right off the bat that this would probably be a good laugh when she first said to me "even though you are in construction, and a man, you can use this, it's not just for women or gays". So as she is talking to me she is explaining all the different sents, and I'm nodding my head in agreement. So after her talking for a few minutes (I was not listening of course), she asks me what my favorite smell was. So i'm looking at her and I think she means litteraly, so I told her the sent of an orange, and she is just giving me one of these , and I realize there is only caribean, and cucumber on the label. I chose caribean after I realized an orange was not a choice.

Now we have moved on to me showing her my fingers. I am one of the very few who chew their finger nails to the point where there is little to no nail left, I have only met one other person in my life time with worse finger nails than me. So she is looking at them, and I say, I know...my finger nails look like shit. So she starts pretending to naw on her own finger, and she says "do you eat?" so I reply yeah I bite my nails. So she says, "ok give me a finger, any finger!" So I don't know why life has cursed me with such stupidity, but I put my smallest nail up... the pinky, where there is 1/4'' of nail left. So she says to me, "no no no, give me the big one!", and yanks my thumb up. So she starts rubbing her 4 sided block together, and as she is talking, I notice the boss of this whole fiasco, running to strangers saying "I'm going to get my finger nails cleaned!" pretending he is the common customer that thinks this is a great idea. That would be fine, if he didn't have the exact same accent, skin tone, and look like the father of the two women cleaning everyones fingers. I noticed he was pretending to be the commoner as he repedativly winked at the women talking to me.

My right thumb is now clean. She says to me, "would you like just the lotion, or the whole kit?" I ask, well how much is it? She goes $29.99, and my reply, I hate to tell you this, but I only have five bucks on me. So, she completely ignored that statement, and pulled me aside, and began to whisper, "I will give you gift, but you have to promise me something." She says, "you have to promise me you will use this", so I said, well I'll take the gift but I can't promise I'll use it, I'm very lazy. I got another one of these: , she goes, "well, you give to your wife, girl friend, mother?" I said, it probably wont leave me car. So she goes, ok, here is what I do, She gets a calculator, like we are sitting at the finance table in a car dealer, and types in $19. She says to me "that's what you pay, it's a gift." I guess she thought me saying I only have five bucks was me haggling with her. I guess that's all they do in the middle east is haggle. So I said to her, well, I only have five bucks. She just gave me a and turned around and started calling on other strangers.

Long story short, I got to look at a hot girl from the middle east, and watch her desperatly sell her 30 dollars worth of garbage.

Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:38:15 PM EDT



I will venture that this thread will be a magnet for "Cool Story Bro..." pic's...




Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:39:38 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Lougotzz:
I went to the mall earlier today to get some dinner, pizza specifically, and I was told when I got there it would be another ten minutes, so I started walking around.

Do you guys know those little tables that small buisness' like to set up in the middle of the hall? Well I was passing a few of them, and I had the foreigner of one of the tables, with the accent where you can't understand what the hell they are saying, to pull me aside. She was trying to sell me those stupid things that polish your finger nails, and give you a little manicure. So I figured what the hell, fine. I knew right off the bat that this would probably be a good laugh when she first said to me "even though you are in construction, and a man, you can use this, it's not just for women or gays". So as she is talking to me she is explaining all the different sents, and I'm nodding my head in agreement. So after her talking for a few minutes (I was not listening of course), she asks me what my favorite smell was. So i'm looking at her and I think she means litteraly, so I told her the sent of an orange, and she is just giving me one of these , and I realize there is only caribean, and cucumber on the label. I chose caribean after I realized an orange was not a choice.

Now we have moved on to me showing her my fingers. I am one of the very few who chew their finger nails to the point where there is little to no nail left, I have only met one other person in my life time with worse finger nails than me. So she is looking at them, and I say, I know...my finger nails look like shit. So she starts pretending to naw on her own finger, and she says "do you eat?" so I reply yeah I bite my nails. So she says, "ok give me a finger, any finger!" So I don't know why life has cursed me with such stupidity, but I put my smallest nail up... the pinky, where there is 1/4'' of nail left. So she says to me, "no no no, give me the big one!", and yanks my thumb up. So she starts rubbing her 4 sided block together, and as she is talking, I notice the boss of this whole fiasco, running to strangers saying "I'm going to get my finger nails cleaned!" pretending he is the common customer that thinks this is a great idea. That would be fine, if he didn't have the exact same accent, skin tone, and look like the father of the two women cleaning everyones fingers. I noticed he was pretending to be the commoner as he repedativly winked at the women talking to me.

My right thumb is now clean. She says to me, "would you like just the lotion, or the whole kit?" I ask, well how much is it? She goes $29.99, and my reply, I hate to tell you this, but I only have five bucks on me. So, she completely ignored that statement, and pulled me aside, and began to whisper, "I will give you gift, but you have to promise me something." She says, "you have to promise me you will use this", so I said, well I'll take the gift but I can't promise I'll use it, I'm very lazy. I got another one of these: , she goes, "well, you give to your wife, girl friend, mother?" I said, it probably wont leave me car. So she goes, ok, here is what I do, She gets a calculator, like we are sitting at the finance table in a car dealer, and types in $19. She says to me "that's what you pay, it's a gift." I guess she thought me saying I only have five bucks was me haggling with her. I guess that's all they do in the middle east is haggle. So I said to her, well, I only have five bucks. She just gave me a and turned around and started calling on other strangers.

Long story short, I got to look at a hot girl from the middle east, and watch her desperatly sell her 30 dollars worth of garbage.



Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:39:51 PM EDT
Did it clean your nail?
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:41:50 PM EDT
What the hell are you talking about?
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:42:57 PM EDT
Have you never been to a mall before?
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:43:09 PM EDT


WTF!
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:43:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2010 7:44:25 PM EDT by ColonelHurtz]
They are Israelis.
It's a line of cosmetics that contains Dead Sea salts.
They are also in every mall in MD.
I never buy anything from them but I hit on the girls.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:44:22 PM EDT
He said my story was cool, and he called me bro!!!
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:44:30 PM EDT
No draw down?

Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:45:35 PM EDT
May I have the last 90 seconds back, please?
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:46:58 PM EDT
if you were in FL i would have swore you got your nail shined by the same chick who did mine.

it was all cool until she was like let me see your hand and i was like sure she whipped out this sanding sponge thing and rubbed it on my nail for a few seconds and it was all shiny. i went home and rubbed some sand paper on it as it was horrible.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:48:39 PM EDT
So why did you even let her do your nails in the first place?
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:49:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TheNamelessOne:
if you were in FL i would have swore you got your nail shined by the same chick who did mine.

it was all cool until she was like let me see your hand and i was like sure she whipped out this sanding sponge thing and rubbed it on my nail for a few seconds and it was all shiny. i went home and rubbed some sand paper on it as it was horrible.


lmfao. My thumbs are still shiny. She did the other one to further convince me to buy her product. She did say it was from Isreal. I was going to ask her if she was in their military, but got side tracked with other things.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:50:32 PM EDT
I know I'm extremely bored tonight but I prefer to be reimbursed the 1 minute of my life that I wasted tonight.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:50:59 PM EDT
Sounds like a new version of "buy me drinkee".

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:51:06 PM EDT
Captivating.....
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:51:39 PM EDT
I...what the fuck? Why did you post this? I'm not being mean...I seriously want to know what about this story you felt was interesting?
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:52:14 PM EDT
U should have asked her to polish your other nail.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:53:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SGocka:
So why did you even let her do your nails in the first place?


That's a good question, I never intended to buy anything from her. I figured if it would make her happy to talk to someone as good looking as me
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:53:50 PM EDT
That story was extremely underwhelming.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:54:29 PM EDT
Like you couldn't have given us the Cliff Notes?

Anyway, spelling correction time...

businesses, not business'
scent, not sent
literally, not litteraly
Caribbean, not caribean


Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:55:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By THR-Thumper:
I...what the fuck? Why did you post this? I'm not being mean...I seriously want to know what about this story you felt was interesting?


You can be mean all you like, it was a stupid story. I knew this as I was typing it, but I thought the part with the orange was funny, but that alone wasn't enough to make a whole thread out of it, so I had to beef it up a little.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 7:58:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By tripledouble:
Like you couldn't have given us the Cliff Notes?

Anyway, spelling correction time...

businesses, not business'
scent, not sent
literally, not litteraly
Caribbean, not caribean




It's CliffsNotes, formerly Cliffs Notes. When you decide to correct someone else...
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:03:11 PM EDT
Should have had her do your booger fingers, the shine helps slide the gooey ones off.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:05:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2010 8:11:22 PM EDT by raygixxer89]
Originally Posted By ColonelHurtz:
They are Israelis.
It's a line of cosmetics that contains Dead Sea salts.
They are also in every mall in MD.
I never buy anything from them but I hit on the girls.

Yep. I had one tell what beautiful nails and strong fingers I had and started asking a bunch of personal questions. I asked her: "what,do you work for the mossad?" She freaked out. I had to tell her that I dated a jewish girl and her mom sounded just like her(salesgirl). I got some very nicely buffed nails out of it,though.


Eta: and yes,they do like to talk to hot dudes.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:06:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:06:36 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Lougotzz:
I went to the mall earlier today to get some dinner, pizza specifically, and I was told when I got there it would be another ten minutes, so I started walking around.

Do you guys know those little tables that small buisness' like to set up in the middle of the hall? Well I was passing a few of them, and I had the foreigner of one of the tables, with the accent where you can't understand what the hell they are saying, to pull me aside. She was trying to sell me those stupid things that polish your finger nails, and give you a little manicure. So I figured what the hell, fine. I knew right off the bat that this would probably be a good laugh when she first said to me "even though you are in construction, and a man, you can use this, it's not just for women or gays". So as she is talking to me she is explaining all the different sents, and I'm nodding my head in agreement. So after her talking for a few minutes (I was not listening of course), she asks me what my favorite smell was. So i'm looking at her and I think she means litteraly, so I told her the sent of an orange, and she is just giving me one of these , and I realize there is only caribean, and cucumber on the label. I chose caribean after I realized an orange was not a choice.

Now we have moved on to me showing her my fingers. I am one of the very few who chew their finger nails to the point where there is little to no nail left, I have only met one other person in my life time with worse finger nails than me. So she is looking at them, and I say, I know...my finger nails look like shit. So she starts pretending to naw on her own finger, and she says "do you eat?" so I reply yeah I bite my nails. So she says, "ok give me a finger, any finger!" So I don't know why life has cursed me with such stupidity, but I put my smallest nail up... the pinky, where there is 1/4'' of nail left. So she says to me, "no no no, give me the big one!", and yanks my thumb up. So she starts rubbing her 4 sided block together, and as she is talking, I notice the boss of this whole fiasco, running to strangers saying "I'm going to get my finger nails cleaned!" pretending he is the common customer that thinks this is a great idea. That would be fine, if he didn't have the exact same accent, skin tone, and look like the father of the two women cleaning everyones fingers. I noticed he was pretending to be the commoner as he repedativly winked at the women talking to me.

My right thumb is now clean. She says to me, "would you like just the lotion, or the whole kit?" I ask, well how much is it? She goes $29.99, and my reply, I hate to tell you this, but I only have five bucks on me. So, she completely ignored that statement, and pulled me aside, and began to whisper, "I will give you gift, but you have to promise me something." She says, "you have to promise me you will use this", so I said, well I'll take the gift but I can't promise I'll use it, I'm very lazy. I got another one of these: , she goes, "well, you give to your wife, girl friend, mother?" I said, it probably wont leave me car. So she goes, ok, here is what I do, She gets a calculator, like we are sitting at the finance table in a car dealer, and types in $19. She says to me "that's what you pay, it's a gift." I guess she thought me saying I only have five bucks was me haggling with her. I guess that's all they do in the middle east is haggle. So I said to her, well, I only have five bucks. She just gave me a and turned around and started calling on other strangers.

Long story short, I got to look at a hot girl from the middle east, and watch her desperatly sell her 30 dollars worth of garbage.



Millcreek Mall
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:08:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ColonelHurtz:
They are Israelis.
It's a line of cosmetics that contains Dead Sea salts.
They are also in every mall in MD.
I never buy anything from them but I hit on the girls.


Yes. I was at the mall and ran into these chicks. They are hot.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:14:52 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cornholio123:
Originally Posted By ColonelHurtz:
They are Israelis.
It's a line of cosmetics that contains Dead Sea salts.
They are also in every mall in MD.
I never buy anything from them but I hit on the girls.


Yes. I was at the mall and ran into these chicks. They are hot.


Dark they were and golden-eyed.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:19:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Stegadeth:
Originally Posted By tripledouble:
Like you couldn't have given us the Cliff Notes?

Anyway, spelling correction time...

businesses, not business'
scent, not sent
literally, not litteraly
Caribbean, not caribean




It's CliffsNotes, formerly Cliffs Notes. When you decide to correct someone else...

Cliffs Notes. Correction received.
I love you.

Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:20:26 PM EDT



i got a good laugh out of it OP. why? no clue.

Link Posted: 9/10/2010 8:23:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By THR-Thumper:
I...what the fuck? Why did you post this? I'm not being mean...I seriously want to know what about this story you felt was interesting?


Link Posted: 9/10/2010 9:10:57 PM EDT
Before and after nail pics would help, OP.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 9:13:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By tripledouble:
Originally Posted By Stegadeth:
Originally Posted By tripledouble:
Like you couldn't have given us the Cliff Notes?

Anyway, spelling correction time...

businesses, not business'
scent, not sent
literally, not litteraly
Caribbean, not caribean




It's CliffsNotes, formerly Cliffs Notes. When you decide to correct someone else...

Cliffs Notes. Correction received.
I love you.



Ah, thanks! Please don't stalk me or try to get my wife out of the picture.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 9:31:32 PM EDT


"Put the lotion in the basket....."
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 9:46:32 PM EDT

Link Posted: 9/10/2010 10:05:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Lougotzz:
Originally Posted By THR-Thumper:
I...what the fuck? Why did you post this? I'm not being mean...I seriously want to know what about this story you felt was interesting?


You can be mean all you like, it was a stupid story. I knew this as I was typing it, but I thought the part with the orange was funny, but that alone wasn't enough to make a whole thread out of it, so I had to beef it up a little.


Link Posted: 9/10/2010 10:09:45 PM EDT
I just read that whole fucking thing, waiting to hear about how you screwed the bejeebus out of the nail stuff saleschick...




Link Posted: 9/10/2010 10:35:10 PM EDT
I owned/managed those kiosks years ago, and those chicks fucking bank. It's a straight commission job, anywhere from 20-35% depending on how crooked the company they are working for is - during the 'normal' year, a decent salesperson will gross $350-600 on a weekday and $1k+ on the weekends. Double/triple that at christmas time.

Those nail kits cost $3, the salt scrub/facial peel/mud mask/etc stuff $4-5, minimum markup is 800% or so. In November/December, the standard for a properly managed and staffed cart is $150-400k gross.

Next time one of them wants to see your nails tell them "Ani Oeva atach col has man" (ah-knee oh-ev-ah aht-ahck cole hahs man) It might get you laid.

Telling them just about anything will probably get you laid, they are only here for 3-4 months at a time and their entire life revolves around work. They get one day off a week, and some weeks they don't even get to borrow the car on their day off. Show one a bit of fun and she'll probably let you stick your wang in her, just don't ask for a blowjob.
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 10:39:54 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/10/2010 10:40:13 PM EDT
How was the pizza?
Link Posted: 9/11/2010 1:52:16 AM EDT


I envy your exciting life.



Link Posted: 9/11/2010 2:07:04 AM EDT
Dude... No...
Link Posted: 9/11/2010 2:24:38 AM EDT
Wow, what a waste of time. I honestly thought the story was going somewhere.
Link Posted: 9/11/2010 3:05:04 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Nerf:
I owned/managed those kiosks years ago, and those chicks fucking bank. It's a straight commission job, anywhere from 20-35% depending on how crooked the company they are working for is - during the 'normal' year, a decent salesperson will gross $350-600 on a weekday and $1k+ on the weekends. Double/triple that at christmas time.

Those nail kits cost $3, the salt scrub/facial peel/mud mask/etc stuff $4-5, minimum markup is 800% or so. In November/December, the standard for a properly managed and staffed cart is $150-400k gross.

Next time one of them wants to see your nails tell them "Ani Oeva atach col has man" (ah-knee oh-ev-ah aht-ahck cole hahs man) It might get you laid.

Telling them just about anything will probably get you laid, they are only here for 3-4 months at a time and their entire life revolves around work. They get one day off a week, and some weeks they don't even get to borrow the car on their day off. Show one a bit of fun and she'll probably let you stick your wang in her, just don't ask for a blowjob.




Why not ask for a blow? I've banged a few jewish babes and they always sucked my cock. They weren't Isreali,though.

Link Posted: 9/11/2010 3:25:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By THR-Thumper:
I...what the fuck? Why did you post this? I'm not being mean...I seriously want to know what about this story you felt was interesting?


My thought also.
Link Posted: 9/11/2010 3:36:14 AM EDT
I got the "shiny nail treatment" once.

JC, you people dont like looking at/talking to hot chicks???

FTR OP, Im betting my Israeli was hotter than yours

Link Posted: 9/11/2010 3:46:23 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/11/2010 4:15:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Compass:
Have you never been to a mall before?


They also have this place called a FOOD COURT with really bad chinese food............
Link Posted: 9/11/2010 5:29:57 AM EDT
Israeli women are HOT!

That is all....
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