How about installing a rape whistle machine instead.
Condom Machines Installed at SF Jail
By JESSICA GREENE
Updated 2:20 PM PDT, Wed, Sep 8, 2010
Condom machines are the latest step in a program to promote safe sex at the San Francisco Jail's San Bruno lockup.
The Chronicle's Matier and Ross reported this week that authorities at the jail installed 16 condom machines throughout the facility –– one in each jail pod –– even though sex is technically illegal in the cell block.
Health workers have been handing out condoms to inmates at the jail since 1989 as part of a safe-sex program aimed at getting them ready for their release back into society.
Distributing condoms to inmates is "worth it," said Kate Monico Klein, who's directing the program under the City's Public Health Department, because it could save lives.
Surprise buttsecks isn't really surprise buttsecks anymore.
"Bend that ass over, BITCH!"
"Wait a minute...WAIT A MINUTE!!! I need to find fifty cents so I can get a condom for you...."