Pirate comes into a bar. Bartender says, Pardon me sir but you have a ship's wheel on your crotch. Arrr, the pirate says,
it's driving me nuts.

[img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/jpshakehead.gif[/img]

A Guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar.

But what the heck," he says, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?".

The guy says "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for example is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just do it.'

That guy at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really satisfies!"

The customer looked dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it

over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the

name of your penis?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty customer asks "Why TIMEX?"

"Because, it takes a lickin', and keeps on tickin'."

A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a margarita and says,

"So, what do you call your penis?"

The man turns to him and proudly says, "FORD, because 'Quality is job one."

Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before

he comes up with a name for his penis.

Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims,

"The name of my penis is 'Secret'. Now give me my beer."

The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"

The customer says, "Because IT'S STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN,

BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!'"

=)

-T.