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Posted: 9/6/2010 1:13:42 PM EDT
For my English Composition course, we have to write an argumentative paper about a cause that we care enough about to act on. So, I chose to write the following paper about saving the Korean M1s. This is the rough draft, which is due tomorrow. The final draft will be due on Thursday. What do you think?

Please keep in mind that this paper is being written for a College Freshman English Class, and is not a Masters Thesis on Gun Control.

<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta> <meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta> <meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta> <meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta> [li] [li] [li]
SAVE THE KOREAN M1S

A recent decision by the Obama Administration to block the re-importation of American made Korean War era rifles has created an outcry among firearms collectors and gun owners. During the Korean War, the United States supplied tens of thousands of semi-automatic M1 Garand and M1 Carbine rifles to the South Korean Army. The South Korean military stored these weapons after the war, and now they want to sell them to American collectors. Initially, the State Department approved the re-importation of these rifles in a decision made last year, but recently they reversed this decision on the baseless fear that these weapons could be used in crimes. Gun control groups have also falsely claimed that these weapons can accept high capacity ammunition magazines and therefore pose a public safety risk. The Obama Administration should immediately direct the State Department to immediately re-instate their previous policy and allow these rifles to be re-imported and sold.

The State Department has stated that the reason they decided to deny permission to import these rifles is the unfounded concern that these weapons will be used by criminals. The fact of the matter is that ever since the passage of the 1994 Omnibus Crime bill, firearms dealers cannot transfer a firearm to an individual until an FBI background check can be performed on the person buying the gun, and the FBI approves the sale of the firearm. This is also not the first time that surplus M1s that the US provided to ally nations have been re-imported and sold to American collectors. In the past the sales of these weapons has been conducted by the Civilian Marksmanship Program. In addition to the mandatory FBI background check, the CMP also requires anyone purchasing surplus firearms and ammunition to be a member of a CMP approved marksmanship club. The requirement that firearms purchasers must undergo an FBI background check and the requirement that buyers of these guns be members of a CMP approved marksmanship club greatly reduces any chance that these weapons would be purchased by criminals.

In addition to the FBI background check that buyers would have to undergo, the likelihood that criminals would choose these weapons as crime guns is very low. The M1 Garand is a 10 pound rifle that measures almost 45 inches in length, while the M1 Carbine is five pound rifle that measures nearly 36 inches in length. It is also worth pointing out that every year, tens of thousands of light weight, easily concealable handguns manufactured by Glock, Sig Sauer, Heckler and Koch and others are imported to the United States for sale to the general public every year. The fact that neither the M1 Garand nor the M1 Carbine are light or easily concealable, and the fact that there are smaller, lighter types of weapons available makes the possibility that these guns would be obtained by criminals is even less likely.

Finally, the false claim by gun control advocates that these M1 rifles pose a public safety risk is nothing short of a complete deception. According to a report on Fox News’ website, Dennis Henigan of the Brady Campaign to Prevent gun Violence stated "Guns that can take high-capacity magazines are a threat to public safety”. The fact of the matter is that neither of these guns is can accept high capacity magazines. The M1 Garand is a clip fed rifle capable of holding only 8 rounds of ammunition in an internal, non-detachable magazine and the M1 Carbine is a magazine fed rifle that uses a 15 round magazine. Comparatively, there are many other models of rifles available on the market, such as the AR-15 or Kalashnikov clones, which can accept magazines with 30, 75 or even 200 round capacities. To state that the M1 rifles in question pose a public safety risk because they can accept high capacity magazines is nothing short of an outright lie.

The decision by the State Depart to prohibit the re-importation of these M1 rifles is grievous error based on unfounded fears and outright lies. The facts are that these weapons are highly unlikely to fall into the hands of the criminals and they do not have any design or operational features which would pose a significant risk to public safety. On the other hand, denying the re-import of these rifles will deprive law abiding American citizens of the opportunity to own a piece of American history and a firearm that is particularly well suited for recreational and competitive marksmanship use. The Obama Administration would do well to help protect these historical treasures and our heritage of lawful sport shooting by instructing the State Department to allow these rifles to be imported and sold to law abiding American collectors.

Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:39:27 PM EDT
You've been reported and will soon be expelled for promoting guns and violence in a school setting...go ahead and get down on the ground.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:46:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2010 2:58:28 PM EDT by MINOBARN]
You'll shoot your eye out.

F



ETA...

1. Re-importation ?
2. maybe to much "the fact"

Too long ?

Initially, the State Department approved the re-importation of these rifles in a decision made last year, but recently they reversed this decision on the baseless fear that these weapons could be used in crimes.

restructure

The State Department has stated that the reason they decided to deny permission to import these rifles is the unfounded concern that these weapons will be used by criminals.

FBI background check can has been performed ?

rewrite

This is also not the first time that surplus M1s that the US provided to ally nations have been re-imported and sold to American collectors.

I see where you're going, but this sentence doesn't work. + If you can replace "that" with "the" don't use either.


In addition to the FBI background check that buyers would have to undergo, the likelihood that criminals would choose these weapons as crime guns is very low.

Paragraph 4 Over 10 rounds is high cap M1 carbine can take 5-10-15-30 round mags. You can\might get away with it but
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:49:11 PM EDT
Depends on your school and your professor, I wouldn't attempt to write a paper on any subject concerning guns of any kind with the professors that I have. I know if I did I would not get a favorable grade. I also attend college in Colorado Springs, so it's not really the school I attend, just the professors I got this semester.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:50:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2010 1:51:57 PM EDT by Miles_Urbanus]
Don't you need to cite your sources?

You also need to spell out acronyms and the put the acronym in parentheses after using it. Then you can use the acronym alone thereafter.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:52:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2010 1:53:17 PM EDT by Mom2Sarah]
Originally Posted By motown_steve:
For my English Composition course, we have to write an argumentative paper about a cause that we care enough about to act on. So, I chose to write the following paper about saving the Korean M1s. This is the rough draft, which is due tomorrow. The final draft will be due on Thursday. What do you think?

Please keep in mind that this paper is being written for a College Freshman English Class, and is not a Masters Thesis on Gun Control.

<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta>[li][li][li]
SAVETHE KOREAN M1S

Arecent decision by the Obama Administration to block the re-importation ofAmerican made Korean War era rifles has created an outcry among firearmscollectors and gun owners. During the Korean War, the United States supplied tensof thousands of semi-automatic M1 Garand and M1 Carbine rifles to the SouthKorean Army. The South Korean military stored these weapons after the war, andnow they want to sell them to American collectors. Initially, the StateDepartment approved the re-importation of these rifles in a decision made lastyear, but recently they reversed this decision on the baseless fear that theseweapons could be used in crimes. Gun control groups have also falsely claimedthat these weapons can accept high capacity ammunition magazines and thereforepose a public safety risk. The Obama Administration should immediately directthe State Department to immediately re-instate their previous policy and allowthese rifles to be re-imported and sold.

The State Department has stated thatthe reason they decided to deny permission to import these rifles is theunfounded concern that these weapons will be used by criminals. The fact of thematter is that ever since the passage of the 1994 Omnibus Crime bill, firearmsdealers cannot transfer a firearm to an individual until an FBI background checkcan be performed on the person buying the gun, and the FBI approves the sale ofthe firearm. This is also not the first time that surplus M1s that the USprovided to ally nations have been re-imported and sold to American collectors.In the past the sales of these weapons has been conducted by the CivilianMarksmanship Program. In addition to the mandatory FBI background check, theCMP also requires anyone purchasing surplus firearms and ammunition to be amember of a CMP approved marksmanship club. The requirement that firearms purchasers must undergo an FBI backgroundcheck and the requirement that buyers of these guns be members of a CMPapproved marksmanship club greatly reduces any chance that these weapons wouldbe purchased by criminals.

Inaddition to the FBI background check that buyers would have to undergo, the likelihoodthat criminals would choose these weapons as crime guns is very low. The M1Garand is a 10 pound rifle that measures almost 45 inches in length, while theM1 Carbine is five pound rifle that measures nearly 36 inches in length. It isalso worth pointing out that every year, tens of thousands of light weight,easily concealable handguns manufactured by Glock, Sig Sauer, Heckler and Kochand others are imported to the United States for sale to the general publicevery year. The fact that neither the M1 Garand nor the M1 Carbine are light oreasily concealable, and the fact that there are smaller, lighter types ofweapons available makes the possibility that these guns would be obtained bycriminals is even less likely.

Finally,the false claim by gun control advocates that these M1 rifles pose a publicsafety risk is nothing short of a complete deception. According to a report onFox News’ website, Dennis Henigan of the Brady Campaign to Prevent gun Violencestated "Guns that can take high-capacity magazines are a threat to publicsafety”. The fact of the matter is that neither of these guns is can accepthigh capacity magazines. The M1 Garand is a clip fed rifle capable of holdingonly 8 rounds of ammunition in an internal, non-detachable magazine and the M1Carbine is a magazine fed rifle that uses a 15 round magazine. Comparatively,there are many other models of rifles available on the market, such as theAR-15 or Kalashnikov clones, which can accept magazines with 30, 75 or even 200round capacities. To state that the M1 rifles in question pose a public safetyrisk because they can accept high capacity magazines is nothing short of anoutright lie.

Thedecision by the State Depart to prohibit the re-importation of these M1 riflesis grievous error based on unfounded fears and outright lies. The facts arethat these weapons are highly unlikely to fall into the hands of the criminalsand they do not have any design or operational features which would pose asignificant risk to public safety. On the other hand, denying the re-import ofthese rifles will deprive law abiding American citizens of the opportunity toown a piece of American history and a firearm that is particularly well suitedfor recreational and competitive marksmanship use. The Obama Administrationwould do well to help protect these historical treasures and our heritage of lawfulsport shooting by instructing the State Department to allow these rifles to be importedand sold to law abiding American collectors.



I know you're not asking for proofreading, but this caught my eye, also check your spacing
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:53:10 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Miles_Urbanus:
Don't you need to cite your sources?

You also need to spell out acronyms and the put the acronym in parentheses after using it. Then you can use the acronym alone thereafter.


This... Citations?
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:56:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Miles_Urbanus:
Don't you need to cite your sources?

Only for quotes. I didn't think it was necessary to post my Works Cited with the rest of the paper.

This is a Community College class. My professor is definitely a liberal, really liberal, but she seems to be willing to evaluate arguments based on their merit and not whether or not she agrees with them personally. Besides, if she gives me an F based on her personal feelings on the issue then I can run to the Dean of the English Department with my paper and bitch.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:58:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Mom2Sarah:
Originally Posted By motown_steve:
For my English Composition course, we have to write an argumentative paper about a cause that we care enough about to act on. So, I chose to write the following paper about saving the Korean M1s. This is the rough draft, which is due tomorrow. The final draft will be due on Thursday. What do you think?

Please keep in mind that this paper is being written for a College Freshman English Class, and is not a Masters Thesis on Gun Control.

<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta>[li][li][li]
SAVETHE KOREAN M1S

Arecent decision by the Obama Administration to block the re-importation ofAmerican made Korean War era rifles has created an outcry among firearmscollectors and gun owners. During the Korean War, the United States supplied tensof thousands of semi-automatic M1 Garand and M1 Carbine rifles to the SouthKorean Army. The South Korean military stored these weapons after the war, andnow they want to sell them to American collectors. Initially, the StateDepartment approved the re-importation of these rifles in a decision made lastyear, but recently they reversed this decision on the baseless fear that theseweapons could be used in crimes. Gun control groups have also falsely claimedthat these weapons can accept high capacity ammunition magazines and thereforepose a public safety risk. The Obama Administration should immediately directthe State Department to immediately re-instate their previous policy and allowthese rifles to be re-imported and sold.

The State Department has stated thatthe reason they decided to deny permission to import these rifles is theunfounded concern that these weapons will be used by criminals. The fact of thematter is that ever since the passage of the 1994 Omnibus Crime bill, firearmsdealers cannot transfer a firearm to an individual until an FBI background checkcan be performed on the person buying the gun, and the FBI approves the sale ofthe firearm. This is also not the first time that surplus M1s that the USprovided to ally nations have been re-imported and sold to American collectors.In the past the sales of these weapons has been conducted by the CivilianMarksmanship Program. In addition to the mandatory FBI background check, theCMP also requires anyone purchasing surplus firearms and ammunition to be amember of a CMP approved marksmanship club. The requirement that firearms purchasers must undergo an FBI backgroundcheck and the requirement that buyers of these guns be members of a CMPapproved marksmanship club greatly reduces any chance that these weapons wouldbe purchased by criminals.

Inaddition to the FBI background check that buyers would have to undergo, the likelihoodthat criminals would choose these weapons as crime guns is very low. The M1Garand is a 10 pound rifle that measures almost 45 inches in length, while theM1 Carbine is five pound rifle that measures nearly 36 inches in length. It isalso worth pointing out that every year, tens of thousands of light weight,easily concealable handguns manufactured by Glock, Sig Sauer, Heckler and Kochand others are imported to the United States for sale to the general publicevery year. The fact that neither the M1 Garand nor the M1 Carbine are light oreasily concealable, and the fact that there are smaller, lighter types ofweapons available makes the possibility that these guns would be obtained bycriminals is even less likely.

Finally,the false claim by gun control advocates that these M1 rifles pose a publicsafety risk is nothing short of a complete deception. According to a report onFox News’ website, Dennis Henigan of the Brady Campaign to Prevent gun Violencestated "Guns that can take high-capacity magazines are a threat to publicsafety”. The fact of the matter is that neither of these guns is can accepthigh capacity magazines. The M1 Garand is a clip fed rifle capable of holdingonly 8 rounds of ammunition in an internal, non-detachable magazine and the M1Carbine is a magazine fed rifle that uses a 15 round magazine. Comparatively,there are many other models of rifles available on the market, such as theAR-15 or Kalashnikov clones, which can accept magazines with 30, 75 or even 200round capacities. To state that the M1 rifles in question pose a public safetyrisk because they can accept high capacity magazines is nothing short of anoutright lie.

Thedecision by the State Depart to prohibit the re-importation of these M1 riflesis grievous error based on unfounded fears and outright lies. The facts arethat these weapons are highly unlikely to fall into the hands of the criminalsand they do not have any design or operational features which would pose asignificant risk to public safety. On the other hand, denying the re-import ofthese rifles will deprive law abiding American citizens of the opportunity toown a piece of American history and a firearm that is particularly well suitedfor recreational and competitive marksmanship use. The Obama Administrationwould do well to help protect these historical treasures and our heritage of lawfulsport shooting by instructing the State Department to allow these rifles to be importedand sold to law abiding American collectors.



I know you're not asking for proofreading, but this caught my eye, also check your spacing

Thanks. I've found a few things that I've corrected since posting this. The paper was always double spaced, but it didn't translate to this post.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:59:55 PM EDT
I vote that it depends on the teacher. My English teacher back in college would've been supportive. My college had a "War Conference" (pretty much a anti-war conference with a series of speakers that was mostly super liberals) when we started the post 9-11 Afghan war. A couple of my classes made me go to two of the many speeches as requirements for their classes. My English teacher was a big civil war historian so he put on a speech relating how civil war technology is still being used in modern warfare. For the record, the second speech I went to was a desert storm vet that wrote a book about his experiences (he had more of a neutral standpoint, he just sat and told his stories).
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 1:59:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MINOBARN:
You'll shoot your eye out.

F


ETA...

1. Re-importation ?
2. maybe to much "the fact"

Yeah. These are weapons that were exported from the United States and are now be re-imported to the United States. So what?
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 2:25:40 PM EDT
It's factually incorrect.

These rifles were never given to the Koreans, they were sold to the Koreans. Since the Koreans own them, they are being re-sold commercially to an American company who will import them and sell them in the US. The CMP has nothing to do with the importation (first time being imported) or resale of the rifles.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 2:26:52 PM EDT
Add FUCK OBAMA
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 2:27:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By captainpooby:
It's factually incorrect.

These rifles were never given to the Koreans, they were sold to the Koreans. Since the Koreans own them, they are being re-sold commercially to an American company who will import them and sell them in the US. The CMP has nothing to do with the importation (first time being imported) or resale of the rifles.


I thought it was still up in the air if there guns were MAP guns or not?
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 2:28:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2010 2:31:09 PM EDT by captainpooby]

Originally Posted By Miles_Urbanus:
Originally Posted By captainpooby:
It's factually incorrect.

These rifles were never given to the Koreans, they were sold to the Koreans. Since the Koreans own them, they are being re-sold commercially to an American company who will import them and sell them in the US. The CMP has nothing to do with the importation (first time being imported) or resale of the rifles.


I thought it was still up in the air if there guns were MAP guns or not?

The CMP has nothing to do with these rifles. Go to the CMP forums and do a search.


ETA: I did it for you.

Link Posted: 9/6/2010 2:55:41 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2010 2:58:36 PM EDT by KalihiJack]
Grading are we?
Major error in fact -30
Passive voice -10
inadequate attribution -25
didn't spell out acronyms on first reference -15
AP style guide errors -10


ETA: But seriously....figure out where the instructor stands on firearms....remember the DINFOS motto, "Be the monkey, do the trick, get the banana babnana"
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 7:01:21 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2010 7:04:15 PM EDT by motown_steve]

Originally Posted By captainpooby:
It's factually incorrect.

These rifles were never given to the Koreans, they were sold to the Koreans. Since the Koreans own them, they are being re-sold commercially to an American company who will import them and sell them in the US. The CMP has nothing to do with the importation (first time being imported) or resale of the rifles.

Actually, I said they were supplied to the Koreans, not given.

Also, technically, I didn't say that these rifles WOULD be sold by the CMP, just that in the past these rifles WERE sold by the CMP. All I have at this point is a post on a forum saying that they won't. Inclusive evidence.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 7:11:01 PM EDT
You say that it is unlikely that these will be used in a crime, but offer no facts to support that claim. I know it is true because there are studies to support it. You might consider referencing the government's own findings about weapon type and criminal history of those who commit violent crime (see DOJ reports "Firearm use by Offenders" and "Guns used in Crime"). As it stands, your essay is not very convincing since it mostly consist of your unsupported opinion and claims.
Link Posted: 9/6/2010 7:13:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By KalihiJack:
You've been reported and will soon be expelled for promoting guns and violence in a school setting...go ahead and get down on the ground.


I did similar for a persuasive speech (reduce gun laws in CA) and it worked great for me.

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