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Posted: 7/11/2010 4:06:20 PM EDT
I love hearing horror stories from the retail industry regarding customers. I personally am not in the retail industry so I don't have any stories to share. If you work at a place that deals with consumers (gun shop, truck shop, construction, whatever you are in), please share your story with the stupidest customer! I'd love to read it.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:24:07 PM EDT
Don't get me started, Stupid people LOVE to go out to eat!
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:25:31 PM EDT
It's too stupid to talk about.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:25:59 PM EDT
I've got several from when I was a contractor.

First was one roof we were replacing. Started stripping off the old shingles and discovered a second layer on most of the front of the roof. I quickly estimated how many additional squares, wrote up a change order, and the HO signed it. Several days later (after the job was finished and I was paid), the HO called me bitching because the insurance adjuster said I had overestimated the amount of secondary roofing, and wasn't going to pay but half the price I charged. He told me I needed to refund him $200. I told him nicely to get bent.

Same guy, we were framing and roofing an addition that was to be his wife's alteration shop. He found some lame-ass windows from an old sunroom at a yard sale, and wanted us to install them. So I did, the best way I knew how. They weren't to his liking, so he removed and replaced them. Oh well––I told him they weren't suitable for use in an actual building, anyway, and didn't meet wind codes.

Same guy, same addition. There was a phone line on the end wall of the existing house which was in the way of the hallway we were building. I told him as soon as I found it to be a problem that he needed to have someone move it. Two weeks later, come roofing time (and several reminders later), he still hadn't moved it. So I cut the damn thing.


Then there was the time I was working at Home Depot in Lumber/Building Materials, right after I started my business. A redneck couple comes in and says they need some hurricane straps for the porch they were building. I showed them the 12" twisted straps, which were like $.40 each. He grabs a "clip," (a Simpson H2.5A), which was about $.23 each, and asks, "Why won't these work? They're so much cheaper." I explain to him that the clips didn't meet current codes, and would be rejected by the inspector. He balks and says, "You're just trying to sell me the most expensive thing you have!" I say, "No, dude, I'm a licensed contractor who's framed over 300 houses in my career, and that's not gonna fly with the inspector. I think I know what I'm talking about." He bought the cheaper clips, anyway, stupid fucker.

Then there was the little Japanese lady we were doing some remodeling for. On one of the last days, I and my helper were installing a double interior French door. We were leveling/plumbing one side, so the doors didn't yet have the proper reveal. Right as we get the one side right, she comes barging through the doors screaming, "They ah wong! They not wight!" Yeah lady, no shit. So I explain to her what we're doing, and that they will be exactly right when we're finished.

Same lady, same job. I was sanding drywall, and I really had to pee. The closest public restroom was 10 minutes away, so I took the liberty of using her restroom in the hallway (away from construction). I finished, left, and later that day she called saying someone had broken into her house. I had to explain to her that I used the restroom.

That's what I can think of for now.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:26:56 PM EDT
I had one customer today that made me contemplate the pro's and con's of going to jail for beating his head in with a shovel.

I don't feel like typing out the whole mess but he was an idiot.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:29:48 PM EDT
I'll have to think this over tonight and come back to it in the morning, or later tonight. I worked in car rental and spent a while in a smaller town. There were some real doozies as far as stupid goes.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:33:42 PM EDT
When I lived in Nome (Alaska) I managed a large hotel that did tours. One night after my shift I was standing on the BEACH when a woman from the tour group walked up and when she recognized me from the hotel, she started to chat. Looking out over the water see asked "What lake is this?", I told her it was the Pacific Ocean and if she went south far enough she would be in Hawaii. She responded (seriously I might add) with, "How far above sea level are we?". I responded with, "Do yo mean at your head or your feet? because at this point it does make a difference."
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:35:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/11/2010 4:44:53 PM EDT by Clockwork138]
A plastic surgeon asked me if she was in danger of the vaporizer on her anesthesia machine potentially exploding. She was under the impression gasoline was used in the vaporizer to anesthetize the patient.

I'm assuming someone told her the vaporizer releases an anesthestic gas and she took it completely wrong. But still... gasoline?
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:36:21 PM EDT
It had to be the lady in Richmond, Va. who had a Masters telling me she was going to visit her brother in N.J. I asked if she was driving up I95, past Baltimore and Philly. She said no, " I drive by Pittsburgh to get there."

Me: really? Are you sure?
Her: Yup.
Me: Oooookkkaayyyy, that seems to be the long way.
Her: Nah.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:37:50 PM EDT
Back when I was a store detective, I once busted a guy for stealing a 7 dollar rain hat. When searching him, I found he had three thousand dollars in his pocket.

How stupid is that?

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:38:15 PM EDT
One Time at truck shop...Doing a printout. The driver asked me what it said. I pointed to the prinout and said. "It say's you had a burger in New Mexico last thursday" He said "No shit It can tell you that!" One time at the truck shop. A driver came in saying he could not unhook. Said there was no handle. I went out to fix it. Pulled handle unlocked fifth wheel. Unhooked trailer. Went back inside. Driver blushed and said. " I did'nt look on that side of the tractor". One time at truck shop... driver said his brake's did not work....Everytime he pulled the yellow button back out the truck would not move. I have dozens more.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:40:16 PM EDT
A client was building an addition onto someone's house, and approached us to handle the roofing portion of the addition. Being a tile roof, we had to find out what tile was on the existing house so I could bid the correct tile. He put us in contact with the lady of the house, who told us, "I know exactly what kind of tile it is. I'll come in to your office and show you." Since many homeowners still have the original paperwork from when their house was built, we took her at her word that she knew the manufacturer, profile, and color of the tile that was on her house.

When she came into the office, I asked her what tile she had. She said, "The red kind."
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:44:07 PM EDT
I have bundles of stupid walk in everyday. My favorite was beig called a "dirty fucking liar that would argue about what color a white sign was" after I told him kansas city is south of omaha.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:44:51 PM EDT
In for lulz because these threads always deliver.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:47:58 PM EDT
Cyclopropane?

Originally Posted By Clockwork138:
A plastic surgeon asked me if she was in danger of the vaporizer on her anesthesia machine potentially exploding. She was under the impression gasoline was used in the vaporizer to anesthetize the patient.

I'm assuming someone told her the vaporizer releases an anesthestic gas and she took it completely wrong. But still... gasoline?




Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:50:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/11/2010 4:55:22 PM EDT by -GunNutJuell-]
I had a customer try to use two 50% off coupons on her purchase, she basically thought 50% off + 50% off = free. She got all pissed because it didn't say there was a limit as to how many coupons you could use, so I asked her If she had three coupons, should I then give her money out of my till?
That shut her up, and she never came back.

Then I had a guy walk into the shop while I was mopping the floor, he looked at me with this big grin on his face and threw himself down on the floor and started yelling he was gonna sue me because I didn't have a wet floor sign. I just gave him a blank stare and said "Yeah, OK......"
He called the next day and wanted to "Settle out of court" so I hung up on him. He called back like three times that week saying "Let me talk to your manager!" and I'd say "No" and hang up. Nothing ever came of it. I hope he really did hurt something.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:51:33 PM EDT
My wife works in auto parts and has for the last fifteen years(she's not your typical female, knows more than alll the guy's in the store) She told me about this guy that came in and got a set of front pads for his car, checked out and getting ready to leave comes back in and says now where do these go? AYFKidding me.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:51:55 PM EDT

Stop at a waffle house one morning after a cleaning job(own a carpet cleaning business). 2 women standing outside smoking, ask..........You clean carpet?
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:53:58 PM EDT
I work at a big box home improvement retailer. I was walking through the paint department one day and a guy asked where the camouflage spray paint was. I showed him where the spray paint was and all the colors that comprise camouflage. "You don't sell any that just comes out of the can camouflage?" Uh, no we don't.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:55:59 PM EDT
A college professor who took his motion detector completely apart as in un soldered the components on the board, then could not get it to work again. The dumb ass called us and wanted us to replace it for free! He paid us for a new one.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:56:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sniper73:
My wife works in auto parts and has for the last fifteen years(she's not your typical female, knows more than alll the guy's in the store) She told me about this guy that came in and got a set of front pads for his car, checked out and getting ready to leave comes back in and says now where do these go? AYFKidding me.


Does she get a lot of the "know-it-all" types?
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 4:57:44 PM EDT
I neither know where to start, nor where to end.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:02:04 PM EDT
I work for a wholesaler. I was talking to a retailer. Short version, he used this sentence.....


...."I don't need the profit".

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:03:57 PM EDT
Aren't all the good ones already in the "Ask a *** anything" threads?
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:04:10 PM EDT
Originally Posted By thorm001:
Cyclopropane?

Originally Posted By Clockwork138:
A plastic surgeon asked me if she was in danger of the vaporizer on her anesthesia machine potentially exploding. She was under the impression gasoline was used in the vaporizer to anesthetize the patient.

I'm assuming someone told her the vaporizer releases an anesthestic gas and she took it completely wrong. But still... gasoline?




Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Nah. It was either Isoflurane or Sevoflurane. Flammable anesthetic agents haven't been used on humans in this country for decades. This woman was in her early 40s so I doubt she ever used them. Also she specifically mentioned gasoline. She really thought gasoline was used.

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:04:51 PM EDT
ost...I love these threads...

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:07:43 PM EDT
Originally Posted By atcc45:

Stop at a waffle house one morning after a cleaning job(own a carpet cleaning business). 2 women standing outside smoking, ask..........You clean carpet?


"You clean carpet?" Means want to bang us silly, ya know for future reference.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:11:49 PM EDT
"I need fwee refill" says the asian guy, as he holds out a box of empty chick fil a chicken nuggets

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:12:30 PM EDT
Had a user come back from vacation. She called the help desk because she couldn't log in to the system. No big deal, lots of people forget their passwords after 2 weeks on vacation.
Only she hadn't forgotten her password. She forgot her user name. Our user names were comprised of first initial and last name. She forgot her fucking NAME.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:16:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By -GunNutJuell-:

Then I had a guy walk into the shop while I was mopping the floor, he looked at me with this big grin on his face and threw himself down on the floor and started yelling he was gonna sue me because I didn't have a wet floor sign. I just gave him a blank stare and said "Yeah, OK......"
He called the next day and wanted to "Settle out of court" so I hung up on him. He called back like three times that week saying "Let me talk to your manager!" and I'd say "No" and hang up. Nothing ever came of it. I hope he really did hurt something.

LULZ
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:23:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By oresti:
I work at a big box home improvement retailer. I was walking through the paint department one day and a guy asked where the camouflage spray paint was. I showed him where the spray paint was and all the colors that comprise camouflage. "You don't sell any that just comes out of the can camouflage?" Uh, no we don't.


BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

What was his screen name?

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:24:14 PM EDT
Too many to remember, but I'll post them as they come to me.

Had one guy looking at a pair of really nice speakers and I say to him, "These speakers are truly AWESOME."
He decides to go nutbag religious on me and says "No. Only God is awesome."
To which I reply, "No, these are definitely awesome... and they're actually real!"
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:25:30 PM EDT
Way back when I worked at Six Flags Over Texas. 75% of the hundreds of thousands of visitors could nott count past 3. .
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:25:53 PM EDT
Had a woman that couldn't remember the code for her food stamp card and wanted us to just give her the food.

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:26:01 PM EDT
The Taliban.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:29:40 PM EDT
We had a lady on one of our boats one time look at an offshore drilling rig we were passing and asked, "Is that a man-made or natural object." And you guys think the Grand Canyon is a miracle of erosion.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:29:43 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/11/2010 5:32:31 PM EDT by Coltcrazy]
Tagged.

When I worked at Home Depot, I saw a fat dude in sweatshorts going through the crown molding, picking out all of the longest pieces. When he got to the register he was astonished when his bill was in the hundreds. He thought that the price per LF (Linear Foot) was per individual piece. This was why he spent twenty minutes picking out the longest ones.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:32:19 PM EDT
I worked at Sea World, San Diego, the summer before I went into the Air Force. We had just opened the new Shark Encounter and I had a woman come up and ask me, "When is the next shark show was at?". I replied, "Ma'am, about the only thing we've been succesful teaching sharks to do is to eat".

Had another lady say, "I've been in this park all day and haven't figured out what the heck a Shamu is".

When I worked at UPS I had a lady demand to know how much a book of stamps cost and then became irate that I wouldn't sell her a book. She didn't accept the answer that I worked for UPS, not USPS, she thought we were a subsidiary or package division of the Postal Service. That was a long conversation.

Had a lady call up the security police desk one night. She demanded to know why a C-130 was hovering over her home. I told her that C-130s don't hover, and if one was doing that, to get out of her house immediately as it was crashing. I had to talk to the commander the next morning about that one.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:32:49 PM EDT
An Asian lady who spilled coffee in her laptop & wanted it fixed under warranty.
It ended up being a chargeable repair even though she threw a fit.
About a month later her son dumped his milk in her laptop & we went through the same ordeal again.
She was a VP in the IT Dept.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:36:44 PM EDT
Had a customer bring in a stereo to our repair shop and ask if we could give him a repair invoice to give to his insurance company to claim it as lightning damage. No big deal, this happens a lot and we usually pop it open and verify that it's lightning related and off they go to their insurance co for reimbursement. FYI, we charge a $25 bench fee, which is also usually covered by the insurance co.

Welll..... I open up his unit and find:
Tinfoil wrapped around the fuse
loose change and screw driver bits laying loose on the PCB
EXTREME corrosion from liquid spills (and matching cup ring stains on the top of the unit)
the original case screws were missing and had been replaced with 3" drywall screws which had pierced one of the circuit boards.

I wrote up what I found and told him to have a nice day.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:38:06 PM EDT
OK, a story from my days on the phone at Natchez Shooters Supply...

A customer calls to get a quote on an order, so I figured it up and told him his total with shipping would be X dollars. He says "Well Midway doesn't charge shipping." and I told him they didn't separate it, but it was built into their pricing, because UPS doesn't ship anything for anybody for free. Couldn't get him to understand, so I said "Look man, just call Midway and get their total on the order delivered to your door and just compare it to mine. I think I'll be cheaper by a few bucks."

So the guy says he will do that, and hung up, About 30 minutes later, he calls back and asks for me. He proceeds to tell me that I was right, and that Midway's total was like 7 bucks more. Before I could gloat in my victory, he says "But I'm still gonna order it from them because they don't charge shipping. It's just the principle of the thing."

So I said, "Well thanks for getting back to me. Now please don't ever call again. We just don't need people with your lack of intelligence wasting our time."

****************************************­*********************************************­**

Back before my days at Natchez, I worked at a retail sporting goods store in the gun department. One weekday afternoon, this dude comes walking up to the gun counter with a box in his hand, and asks to look at this Browning Citori 12 gauge O/U. I unlock the case and hand the dude the shotgun. He then proceeds to pull a set of postal scales out of the box and weigh the shotgun. He hands it back to me and says, "If that gun weighed an ounce and a half less, I'd buy it right now." So I lock the gun back up and he leaves.

The next day at about the same time, this joker comes back in and does the exact same thing! Same story. "If that gun weighed an ounce and a half less, I'd buy it right now." and left again. As soon as he left, I got out a set of reloading scales and weighed out exactly an ounce and a half of #8 birdshot and folded it up in a piece of tape. I then carefully remove the buttplate from the Citori, slipprd in the birdshot packet, and screwed the buttplate back on. When the guy came in the next day and pulled that shit, I was going to take the buttplate off, remove the 1.5oz of shot, and tell him to put up, shut up, or GTFO!

Never saw him again.

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:38:22 PM EDT
Working at home depot ,long ago , a guy comes in to buy a battery for his drill , battery is 45 bucks and he says I love the drill I'll take 2. I tell him that the drill he loves is on sale drill AND 2 batteries for 35 . Guy insists on buying 2 batteries until I show him the box with the sale sticker and the two batteries AND drill in it... Then he tried to play it off ... I iust wanted to be right didn't care about his bottom line .
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:43:28 PM EDT
Originally Posted By valheru21:
The Taliban.


I hope you gave them plenty of "customer service."

Preferably the high explosive kind.

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:43:57 PM EDT
Had someone accuse me of lying after flight at FL 300 (30000 feet), because his "altimeter watch" only said we went up to 7500 feet. No more announcements from the pointy end after that for a long time.


By the way I did want to ask him about the whole airplane vs. treadmill thing.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:44:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By omega62:
Originally Posted By valheru21:
The Taliban.


I hope you gave them plenty of "customer service."

Preferably the high explosive kind.



+1
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:44:41 PM EDT
had a customer come in for a trouble shoot of his car audio system because his amp quit working. He says to me "I know it's getting power because when I touched the power lead to the case it sparked.

I told him that if it worked before that it certainly doesn't now.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:45:19 PM EDT
One of my buddies worked phone support for gateway computers, said one night a woman called to complain that her retractable cup holder in her tower broke.

Yep true srory

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:47:05 PM EDT
Originally Posted By inthe605:
One of my buddies worked phone support for gateway computers, said one night a woman called to complain that her retractable cup holder in her tower broke.

Yep true srory

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


Was that Lemonjello or Orangelo?

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:48:13 PM EDT
You have no idea how many of them I get. I usually will send them to the newest wet behind the ears DA that is working, when he comes and asks me how to do something or what something is called I just smile. I once had a guy come in and tellme that he needed a guys help on an old car project (Husband and I build hotrods for a living) I let the newbie work on him for almost 45 minutes before I set the starter he needed on the counter and walked away, needless to say cust is now one of my regulars. The list goes on.
Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:50:26 PM EDT
I ran a full service Exxon gas station back in the early 90's

A lady in a Sedan De ville came in and wanted a fill up and check everything.

I was under the hood while two of my guys got the tires and windows

it was a late 80's model and I had my hand in past the fan belt to put the power steering cap back on and bam!
this crazy woman hits the ignition to start the freaking engine.

It almost got my fingers, so close!

I went around to her window and yelled "what are you doing starting the car, you know I was under the hood working?"
She said "I was hot and wanted the air conditioner on"

I gave her a good lesson on safety about what could have happened and her reply to me was

"I'm sorry, I'm not from around here"

Link Posted: 7/11/2010 5:51:26 PM EDT
The one that never comes to compromise. He was lead outside and beaten to death with fry pans. But that was then and this is now...




Maybe I should check statutes of limitations on that.


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