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Posted: 3/28/2002 2:45:14 PM EDT
> > Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went > > missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the > > archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. > > > > He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" > > God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly > > pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, > > look what I've made." > > > > Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is > > it?" > > > > "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on > > it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a > > great place of balance." > > > > "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. > > > > God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, > > "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great > > opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going > > to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot > > spot. Over there I've placed a continent of > > white people and over there is a continent of black > > people," > > > > God continued, pointing to different countries. "This > > one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will > > be very cold and covered in ice." > > > > The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to > > a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's > > that one?" > > > > Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place > > on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, > > rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people > > from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and > > humorous and they're going to be found traveling the > > world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and > > high achieving, and they will be known throughout the > > world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also > > going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice > > hockey players who will be admired and feared > > by all who come across them." > > > > Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then > > proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there > > would be BALANCE!" > > > > God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth > > bastards I'm putting next to them....
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 2:53:05 PM EDT
You're talking about Quebec , right ?!?
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 2:57:28 PM EDT
I guess I should be offended after laughing so hard.
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:01:03 PM EDT
[moon] The real question is, Who else would you want next to you?
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:02:31 PM EDT
canada can bite my ass.
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:03:48 PM EDT
DP... The answer of course is...............NOBODY!!! Unless you could make it a country of sex starved gorgeous women!!!! Oh Quebec counts as well......but unfortunately they are still part of Canada!! You guys want them???
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:22:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Stormbringer: DP... The answer of course is...............NOBODY!!! Unless you could make it a country of sex starved gorgeous women!!!! Oh Quebec counts as well......but unfortunately they are still part of Canada!! You guys want them???
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NOBODY is the correct answer. And you can keep Quebec, we've got our hands full with California and New York. But you could at least throw us a bone for giving y'all 1500 miles of insulation from Mexico!
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:28:47 PM EDT
Canada? Where's that? Hmmm... I've heard of it, but for the life of me, I can't remember [i]where[/i]! [:P]
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:32:30 PM EDT
[:|]
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:33:10 PM EDT
[stick]..Go aw....Aye![;)]
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:33:43 PM EDT
I didn't even know Canada were good guys until I saw a picture one day in my Youth that showed an F-18 Hornet with a Maple Leaf on it. The caption said Canadian F-18. Do You remember the Candid Camera episode where they set up a fake Mountie and Border crossing in Arizona. These people come driving up and the look up at the sign and there is a toll looking booth and one of those wooden liftable gates painted black and white and there are these two Damn Mounties on Horseback sitting on both sides of it. The Sign reads, "WELCOME TO CANADA" . These people drive up to it and the Guy dressed in the MOUNTY uniform gets out of the booth and goes around to the driver side of the car (which is very middle class American family on vacation). He goes up the guy rolls down the window and without missing a beat the Mounty asks the driver for his pasport and pappers?? D:HUH??, Where in Arizona?? M:Well, No not any more sir, not on the other side of that gate.. I'll have to see your passport! D:This is America.. M: NO sir this is Canada?? D:Welll what happened to America. M: Well see Sir, they have moved it??D: Moved it??? M: Yes Sir they moved the boarder south sir! D: (WHo buy now is quite alarmed) What the, what the hell, were in Arizona?? M: No sir, this is Canada. This goes on for a few minutes before the Mounty tells the driver. God I laughed.. Benjamin
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:38:02 PM EDT
Hay, I just realized that when writing posts I Use the Lower Case Important Word Capitalized just like in MAD Magazine. For Faster Reading. .25 Cents CHEAP!!
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:39:44 PM EDT
I've heard of that place. Back in the 1800's, the US could have annexed it with hardly more effort than lifting a finger, resulting in the largest country on Earth, even larger than the entire Soviet Union. But there was a catch...we found out that there were Frenchies living there, so we wisely passed on the deal. They've got a really WEIRD national anthem that goes like this: "Our country reeks of trees, Our yaks are very large, And they smell like rotting beef carcasses. And we have to clean up after them And our saddle sores are the best. We proudly wear women's clothing And searing sand blows up our skirts. And the buzzards, they soar overhead, And poisonous snakes will devour us whole, Our bones will bleach in the sun. And we will probably go to /hell/ [*], And that is our great reward, For being The-uh Ro-yal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen!" [img]http://www.q-net.net.au/~knowsol/Images/rs.gif[/img] CJ
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:44:34 PM EDT
[img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/thumbs.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 3:55:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cmjohnson: I've heard of that place. Back in the 1800's, the US could have annexed it with hardly more effort than lifting a finger, resulting in the largest country on Earth, even larger than the entire Soviet Union.
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What are you talking about? Our Salvation Army could kick their asses today.
Link Posted: 3/28/2002 6:02:54 PM EDT
Yeah, they could, but why would we want to do that? The place is STILL full of snotty, stinky Frenchies, so it's still undesirable and a bad deal at any price. Unless, of course, the Frenchies were dealt with in a suitable manner...  [img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/protect.gif[/img] CJ
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