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Posted: 3/21/2002 1:40:17 PM EDT
What is the deal with the “toilet paper” in an MRE? You get all this food and a couple squares of TP. How do you MIL guys wipe your butts with almost no paper?
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 1:45:50 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 1:46:27 PM EDT
the TP in an MRE is barely enough to wipe yer ass with. In the field, just as long as you get the big chunks off yer ass, yer good 2 go!
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 1:54:32 PM EDT
I don't think you are actually supposed to use them to wipe your ass. You are supposed to use them to wipe off your hand after you finishing wiping your butt with your hand. But what do I know....
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 2:05:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/21/2002 2:07:31 PM EDT by Dominus]
Meal goes in, meal goes out [:D]. I guess the TP is there to aid in the completion of the process.
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 2:52:55 PM EDT
Prairie-Ranger comes close from what I remember... you're supposed to push your finger thru the paper, do your wiping with previously mentioned finger, then use the TP to clean finger. (IIRC) [:)]
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 2:56:43 PM EDT
ahhhhhh yes, the one wipe wizard.
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 3:06:14 PM EDT
I always had logs when eating MREs. Hardly any mess at all.... The never "plugged" me up but I would go longer between sit-downs. I am a regular 2-3 times a day. Change my diet to MREs and I might go once a day or day and a half. There is no time for shitting during a firefight.
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 3:12:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/21/2002 3:16:41 PM EDT by QUIB]
Originally Posted By 7IDL: Prairie-Ranger comes close from what I remember... you're supposed to push your finger thru the paper, do your wiping with previously mentioned finger, then use the TP to clean finger. (IIRC) [:)]
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I had an old 1SG tell me once you open the toilet paper. Extend your pointer finger, drape the paper over your finger. Next tear off the tip of the paper, put this tip in your pocket. DO NOT LOOSE IT! Wipe your rear with your finger, then pull the paper over your finger, cleaning your finger off. Final step, reach into your pocket, remove the tip of toilet paper. This is used to clean the shit from under your pointer finger finger nail. Resume combat operations! Edited to add: What a great post to reply to for my 100th post![beer]
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 3:19:08 PM EDT
Easy - you save it until you DO need it. I'm pretty regular, but that drops off to about every two days on MRE's for any length of time. Also, you're pretty damn solid by then, so you don't need to wipe 40 times. Twice will do. MRE = Meal Refusing to Exit. Live off of them for about a week and you will understand... Be careful when returning to "regular" food. It's not as bad as the Crat transition, but be careful until you know how your system will react... FFZ
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 3:22:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By USMC_LB: There is no time for shitting during a firefight.
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Plenty of time to shit. Just not a lot of time to wipe!
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 3:32:52 PM EDT
Eat the MRE then eat the TP. MRE comes out first followed by the paper. Automatic wipe. No mess.
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 3:44:58 PM EDT
Originally Posted By rainman: Eat the MRE then eat the TP. MRE comes out first followed by the paper. Automatic wipe. No mess.
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Oh shit. That was funny.
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 4:19:29 PM EDT
[:D] [:D] [:D] That has to be marketable. Kind of a reverse-enema.
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 9:32:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/21/2002 10:37:45 PM EDT
That was toilet paper!! [:X*] j/k -- I know better [BD]
Link Posted: 3/22/2002 6:20:57 AM EDT
Throw the MRE TP away. Get the real TP from your ruck, track or truck. If you did not bring enough real T to the field, you are an idiot and deserve to us MRE TP. Every vehicle usually had several rolls floating around it, somewhere, at a minimum. It was considered a necessary part of the vehicle, like engines or tires. For long field problems, several cases would be around. It was less important than water or ammo, but probably more important than fuel or coffee. Wipe as normal. Also, many places, especially overseas, everyone was so envornmentally sensitive, even ten years ago, that they did not want you crapping in cat holes. As a result, there was usually some kind of porta-john within walking distance. They usually got serviced every few days, including a re-stock of TP.
Link Posted: 3/22/2002 5:21:42 PM EDT
Originally Posted By natez: Throw the MRE TP away. Get the real TP from your ruck, track or truck. If you did not bring enough real T to the field, you are an idiot and deserve to us MRE TP. Every vehicle usually had several rolls floating around it, somewhere, at a minimum. It was considered a necessary part of the vehicle, like engines or tires. For long field problems, several cases would be around. It was less important than water or ammo, but probably more important than fuel or coffee. Wipe as normal. Also, many places, especially overseas, everyone was so envornmentally sensitive, even ten years ago, that they did not want you crapping in cat holes. As a result, there was usually some kind of porta-john within walking distance. They usually got serviced every few days, including a re-stock of TP.
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True on the serious side of things, in Germany we always had Porta-poties. Even when we went to the field and stayed outside of some German town in the woods, Porta-poties were there. But I think this thread was meant more for the lighter side of it!
Link Posted: 3/22/2002 5:35:48 PM EDT
Good job, QUIB. You are faithful Keeper of the Legend. When civilization collapses, and history is neglected, your knowledge will have value. Mankind may yet survive, as long as this wisdom is not lost. Pass it on to your children, as I have, so that the old ways will not be forgotten.
Link Posted: 3/22/2002 8:19:19 PM EDT
In the winter up here, we are actually supposed to shit in a bag and take it out with the trash since you can't dig a slit trench in frozen ground. And no pissin in the bag either! You're actually supposed to be able to keep from takin' a wiz as you crap. The worst has to be a Fort Greely in December porta can though. Nothing like whippin it out in -20 to take a dump on a plastic seat.
Link Posted: 3/22/2002 9:13:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FreeFireZone: MRE = Meal Refusing to Exit.
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LMAO!!! That's another I can add to Meals Rejected by Everybody, and Meals Recently Excreted. Thanks FreeFire.
Link Posted: 3/23/2002 2:08:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By GovtThug: Good job, QUIB. You are faithful Keeper of the Legend. When civilization collapses, and history is neglected, your knowledge will have value. Mankind may yet survive, as long as this wisdom is not lost. Pass it on to your children, as I have, so that the old ways will not be forgotten.
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I had no idea of the gift bestowed upon me, thank you GovtThug, I will not let you down. The Legend will not die..................LOL
Link Posted: 3/23/2002 2:32:00 AM EDT
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