For Immediate Release: February 2002
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince
Taliban of Non-Existence of God

The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up
yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of
crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy
the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the
non-existence of God.

Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black
Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt,
despondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by
numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of
Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number
of sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the front lines.

There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd
nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will
be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends
who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the male
philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and
unattainable to everyone else.

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his
confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate
Belmondo, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover,
gesticulated wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical
fallacy of the most ridiculous. There is no God and I can prove it.
Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am talking."

Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating
freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and
the films of Alfred Hitchcock.

However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the
operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive
smoking from the philosophers' endless Gitanes could wreak a
terrible toll on civilians in the area.

"It's French, it must be good."

I love it ! How true...

French intellectuals?

Isn't that an oxymoron...like government organization, rap music, Microsoft Works?


The French - a bunch of blouse-wearing poodle walkers.

LOL!

I would support using tactical nukes but this is just cruel.

Having dealt with French intellectuals and students when I studied in Freiburg, Germany, near the french border, I can tell you, this satire is truer than you could ever know.

I didn't know which was worse:

1) the French students, clad in black, languishing in cafes, (and yes, they DON'T bathe much, folks, lemmetellya ....and their women aren't all that good looking, unless ya like nervous, greasy beanpoles)

OR

2) the male German students, wearing designer eyeglasses and gelled hair, sitting in lecture halls, _knitting_ while the ex-hippie professors droned on...

Marshals Foch and von Hindenburg must be spinning in their graves...both societies are VERY emasculated, esp. on the level of "higher" education.

Wow.  Umm.....  Your ignorance is mindblowing dude.

Theories on government and society postulated by French guys were the basis of the Declaration of Independence and Consitution and the Bill of Rights.

The French also conquered most of Europe and were a world super-power for a millenium.

France? /That/ France? Yonder in Europe? Smelly people, eat frogs and snails, claim to have invented culture? The laughing stock of the civilized world? The ones that send a note of surrender to the German DoD everytime a German customs agent has a accidental discharge? /That/ France?

[whacko]

Me ignorant?  I wasn't the one who couldn't recognize an obvious joke.  Maybe I should use smaller words next time...[i]dude[/i].

The best and the brightest of the French died long ago on the battlefield.  All that remains are cowards and cripples.

No, actually, your comments are pretty typical of what "anti-French" ignormauses really believe.  


I really don't think you are capable of communicating effectively.  If it was a joke, it must have been a private one because it sure wasn't very funny.

Western Civ. Take it and broaden your horizons.

I recognized it as a joke, and a damned funny one at that.
Let me test my psychic powers here, are you:
1. a college undergraduate?
2. of French ancestry?

Satire.  Study it and broaden your horizons. (Oh, and pull out that stick you seem to have up your ass.)

They seem to still believe that is case, it would appear, despite pesky little facts to the contrary, wherein lies the problem, methinks.

Are you aware that a millenium is a thousand years? Even the French would be surprised to hear your assertion that they were a [b]world[/b] superpower for that length of time.



I would recommend the same to you. That and a visit to the place in question, and a daily read of 'Le Monde', would leave you in no doubt as to the devolution of said nation and people.

Well put, shooter69.

France is NOT very "friendly" to the US, and is always highly critical of our country.


Tyler

I don't think they would be all that shocked by that assertion.  They were the second most powerful entity in Europe (behind the Church) since the fall of the Roman Empire in the West.  The Spanish, despite their immense wealth, deferred to them.  They were still a colonial superpower for nearly 400 years until WW1 and WW2 changed that.



I've been to France, many times.  I can't say much for their government, but would you say that our goverment is representative of the American people?  No?  I didn't think so.  The labor unions and "democracy" destroyed France.  Think about that before you speak of democracy in the US or support a labor union.


To answer somebody else, I do have French ancestry.  I also have Scots, Irish, German Jewish, Russian, and Cherokee blood.  Yes, I am a college undergraduate.  No, I don't think I know more than everybody else because I'm in college; however, I do think that some of the posters on this thread are ignorant bigots who would cast an entire people who contributed more to culture than America (inculding the creation of the fundamentals by which WE are governed) in such a negative light.

The original post was quite funny, but the subsequent "let's bash the French" posts are entirely idiotic, and really not very funny.

I highly recommend some of you go to France, particularly areas away from Paris.  Most of the French are extremely polite, hard-working people who don't like the way things are run in their country.  Many of them have a deep respect for Americans and appreciate what we have done for them.  The American cemetary in Normandy is kept up by the French, they plant little American flags on [i]every[/i] grave on the 4th.


I just get tired of seeing people who claim to be maligned by the press and antis abuse another people they obviously know nothing about.  Bigotry isn't very cool, and while everybody is guilty of it (including myself) I don't think it necessary.

Flame away.

The government of France is run by the elite socialists of Paris.  Parisians are just like the rude, narcissitic, liberals you would meet in any other megacity, like say, New York.

The government isn't friendly to the US, and is highly critical of the US.  Our government doesn't represent us, so what makes you think that the French government represents the French people?

A regional power and a "super" power are two different things, which is why I bold-faced the "world" in your little history lesson. Superpowers have overarching capabilities and world superpowers traverse the globe. France did not "for a millenium," as you put it. While they were the preeminant [b]medieval[/b] power (excusing the larger disorganized Holy Roman Empire and Emperors from consideration) - when they were not involved in fratricidal wars with other french kingdoms, or having their asses handed to them by a handful of welsh longbowmen - it was not until the time of the wars of revolution and Napoleon that they were truly a [b]European[/b] superpower, strutting from one side of the map of Europe to the other.

If you exaggerate in the course of arguement, just cop to it next time, you'll have more credibility.



So do I, but it doesn't stop me from seeing the truth, culture and [b]past[/b] accomplishments notwithstanding. The France of today is a saboteur of western values and civilization (in short: everything that made us great), mired in defeatism and ego boosting anti-americanism, so adverse to even recognizing self defense as what it is.

Please try and remember that even the things they've gone along with us on (like the Gulf War), they have attempted to talk us out of first. Do not forget that at the height of the cold war they pulled out of NATO (opting for a "third way"). Would not stand with us on retalliating against Libya. Attempted early on to sabotage the German, Italian and Spanish commitments to help us in our war on terror, running around Europe yelling, "It's not a war!" Nor all the little snubs and petty insults carelessly hurled over the years. We were the guys who saved their ass, and they repaid us with their french jingoism and "little man" syndrome. We won the cold war for all of Europe to enjoy, despite their meddling. The anti-french verbiage you see on this board is a reflection of how France has treated us (differently than other European countries have), not the other way around.

You know who they remind me of these days? --->

[url]www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?id=101584[/url]

[img]http://www.attackcartoons.com/fullcrap.GIF[/img]
http://[url]http://www.attackcartoons.com/[/url]

(The reference to Foucault set me off.[:D])

Carefully reread my posts.  I never denied that the French [i]government[/i] is not an ally, and even undermines our efforts; I stated that the French [i]people[/i] should not be mischaracterized by the actions of their government.  Did Clinton represent us?  Do we trust and appreciate every action by our government bureaucracies?  I don't think we do.  Applying negative stereotypes to people most of those on this board have never met is asinine.  Furthermore, the implication that the French "have never done anything great" is just plain stupid.  Are the:

"French intellectuals?  Isn't that an oxymoron..."  "The French - a bunch of blouse-wearing poodle walkers."  "Smelly people, eat frogs and snails..."  "The laughing stock of the civilized world?" comments indicative of people who know what they are talking about?  They sound like the comments of uneducated dipshits who wouldn't know a their ass from a hole in the ground.  Oh, they were jokes.  Real funny to a dumbass, but not to somebody who knows French people and takes exception to it.  How 'bout this little joke?:

Hey, why don't we shit on the watermelon-eatin,' crack-dealin,' baggy-pants-wearin' niggers instead?  All those damn porch monkeys do is bitch about how bad whitey is and sit on their lazy black, jungle bunny asses all day.  They collect welfare from us and don't do a damn thing in return.

That is exactly the same as attacking the [i]French[/i] for the things the [i]government[/i] of France does.  The idiots who posted on this thread about how the French are (despite never having met ANY French people) based on the actions of a few persons and a non-representative government are bigots, pure and simple.  

First off, get over yourself.  

Secondly, the "blouse-wearing poodle walker" comment is a Simpsons quote.  Or have you gotten so politically correct that the popular media is too insensitive for your tender ears?  I always thought the media was a bit on the liberal/politically correct side, but apparently its not enough for you.  I don't believe in casting malicious aspersions upon any race or nationality - I do however believe its ok to poke a little fun occasionally where its not malicious in nature.  If you'd open your eyes, you'd see its common practice.  Of course, like a good liberal, I suppose you'd rather look for something to be offended about.

Third, I've been to France several times and while they're not completely rude, the people of NYC are far more friendly, helpful, and generous.  And New Yorkers are smart enough to recognize a joke when they see it.  I think everyone who viewed this post understood the comments to be the joke they were.  I suppose you think I owe an apology to all rap music artists and to the Microsoft Corporation also?

Fourth, whats with the personal attacks?  Can't get your point across without getting angry and calling us names like "uneducated dipshits who wouldn't know a their ass from a hole in the ground", "ignormauses", and "dumbass".  Nice vocabulary skills, kid.  And you call us uneducated.





...bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys. (Yes, another Simpsons quote!)

As far as I'm concerned, I thought Shaggy was pretty damn funny [:D]

My own opinion of the French, is that they are nothing more than arrogant, spineless "poodlewalkers" [:D]

I couldn't give a rat's ass what they did 200 or 400 years ago...

I judge them for how they react to regional conflicts in the last half century...  

Every time there is trouble somewhere, they turn tail and try as hard as possible to avoid getting involved...
The obvious lack of serious French involvement in any major conflict should be enough clear evidence to support my opinion...

Shaggy, you have a clever sense of humor, too bad some here don't...

(Some people need to be handled with "kid gloves")

What I don't get is the way people get so freakin' enamored of other societies that they lose all sense of perspective and practically worship the French, the Japanese, or whatever.

My friend's mom had a Japanese partner for a while and just totally got wrapped up in Japanese society (though she hated HIS guts by then) to the point that she thought Japan was just plain Utopian.  Always praising the way they treat their workers (!) while at the same time she was getting phone calls and faxes from over there at all hours, wanting immediate action.

She knew nothing of the Yakusa, which I had to do a paper on for class.  I thought that would open her eyes, in addition to the police tactics and lack of 2nd Amendent type rights.
Wrong!!  A big shrug.  

I was friends with her son, he was on a basketball team that played Thurdays nights in a public school gym.  They were always looking for people to play againt, so they invited me there.  When we showed up it turned out I couldn't play because they only wanted Japanese.
This was something she downplayed.  She didn't mind complaining about discrimination against Japanese, but she had absolutely no problem with this.

She isn't Japanese herself, she's a white woman from Wisconsin.  You'd never know it.  One time she had us over for dinner with about 8 other people we didn't know.  At first, people would speak at least English, but after dinner, everybody was talking in Japanese.  You could say something and get an answer in English, then it was right back to Japanese.

We finally had a talk with her about it - she had no clue and couldn't take one, so that was the end of it.

The French suck.

So do hippies.

So do people who defend either. [:D]

Don't get me started on people who don't like pigs.

Great joke satcong!  Made me laugh!

My pop took me to Rouen, Paris and a few towns in between, granted I was 9, so I can't remember much. It was a funny satire though.......


On the subject of [b]hippies[/b] I do have something to say.

Satcong hates hippies with a passion.  Satcong dad was stationed overseas for most of his military career.  Satcong never got a chance to experience hippies firsthand save for one night at an outdoor taverna in Athens when they came to our military father and begged for money so they could "get back home", and even though he LOATHED the maggots, he offerred help...  I read about the ones who spit on our men in uniform and threw pints of red paint on them to simulate blood.

Now you know why I loathe those people.

You aren't very astute, are you?  A joke, by definition, is supposed to be funny; your post isn't.
Apparently, that stick isn't just up your ass.  It's up there sideways.
The chicks may dig your ultra-serious, cosmopolitan persona (I'll bet you have at least one piercing, a goatee, and wear plastic-framed glasses) but it won't pay off to be that guy here.  Save it for bars, poetry readings, study groups, and other places where it might get you some pussy.
A better guy to be here would be a thick-skinned one with a robust sense of humor.  If that is more than an effete specimen like you can manage, may I suggest you confine yourself to the technical forums?  It will keep your pretty French lace panties from getting in so much of a bunch.