When I was younger, and my grandfather passed, I saw that he was a Free Mason for decades, which I never knew. When I asked by father, he told me that he didn't want anything to do with being a Free Mason because they did not send a representative to my Grandfather's funeral, or something to that effect, and he never forgave them for that.
I believe there was a mis-communication of scheduling, but my Father has a habit of zero tolerance for anything he believes to not adhere to his criteria of what is supposed to be.
With the above being said, I would have also loved to be a Free Mason, but sadly it appears it was not meant to be.

You can still join.  Only you can take the first step.  Just ask a local lodge.

To be one, you simply have to ask one.  Find a person whom you know that is a Brother and talk to him about your desire.

If you do not know a Mason, look up a Lodge and tell them of your desire for further information.

As to your GF, I agree that it was probably a matter of (mis) communication.  In many cases, particularly if your GF had not been active in the Lodge for a while (as is the unfortunate case with many of our older Brothers), the Brothers might not have known of his passing until after the funeral.  I have never known of a Lodge or Brothers that would not show the proper ceremonies and respect at the passing of a Brother.

Again, if you are btruly interested in Masonry, contacyt a Borther or a Lodge and let them know.

Biker1 what the post above by AF-Odin says is very true. I can almost assure you that his lodge (or any other lodge really) must not have known about your grandfathers passing. But that doesn't mean that it is too late.

I say this because my situation was once very much like yours. My father passed away several years ago.  I was of course aware that he was a Freemason    But he and I had just never had "the conversation" about Freemasonry.   One day well after his passing I was going through some of his things.  I had already passed some of his Masonic items on to family members who were Freemasons.  But not all of the things, some I kept.    Well I came upon them and they got me to thinking .   I knew that he would have wanted to be square with is Lodge.   So I decided to find out if his dues were up to date when he passed. He was retired military.  And he was raised as a Freemason in a joint American-Canadian Lodge while he was stationed overseas in Germany.

I searched and searched, and had no luck finding any information on getting in contact with his lodge. So then I decided to consult with the brothers on Arfcom. I was helped by my now brothers here. They pointed me in the direction that I needed to be looking.  And after a little more effort I found what I needed. His original lodge had been consolidated with others. I was able to get in touch with someone who assured me that his dues were up to date when he passed. He did inform me that they were unaware he had passed.  He apologized that there was no one at the service.  And he let me know that there were still things that they could do.   I tell you this because there may  still be something his home Lodge might be able to do for your grandfather.  I never thought that someone needed to inform my fathers lodge.  I didn't even know that Freemasons did things for their brothers that pass.  I was the one that was handling his arrangements, and in this respect I failed my father.

This search for my fathers lodge led to the brothers in this forum helping me start my journey into Freemasonry I had considered joining before. And I had been invited to visit Lodges. I even had friends offer to provide assistance when I had questions. But I just never took the plunge. I eventually followed my fathers, and many other ancestors and familys footsteps.

Anyway, it may not be too late for your grandfather, or your father. It certainly isn't for you. I live in Volusia County, If you need any help with anything let me know. I would be very willing to help with any of the things that I have mentioned.

Good luck to you.

Often Lodges have no way of knowing that a Brother has passed.  He has been paying his dues, but hasn't gone to Lodge for years.  They have no way to know.

Many families don't know to contact the Lodge, particularly if the Brother's Lady is gone.  I assure you, had they known they would have been there.

Guys, that's why it's important for your families to know what your wishes are and how to contact your Brethren.  Have a "Masonic Will".  Give them all the contact information they'll need and what you want for a Memorial Service.  Many times your Lady will know, but she has a ton of things going on.  Make sure your children and grand-children know about it and where it is.

I have also heard of a Masonic service being done years after the passing of a Brother.  Not sure how common it is.

My Grandfather was one, Initiated  11/25/44, Passed 12/20/44, Raised 1/24/45
My Father was not, But I am....

OP you have taken a small step, please continue....

I want to apologize for my late reply. I am not getting subscription alerts in certain forums and just checked in.
I'd like to thank all those who have replied. There are some heart warming personal experiences which I appreciate you sharing, in addition to some good information. And thank you for offering to help out when I am ready. I'll definitely let you know.
I have my Grandfather's Lodge card which I just have to find as I'd like to see the information on it.
Thank you again to all.

You can also contact the Grand Lodge of the state where he was a member and ask for his Dates.

These guys have covered it. You just have to ask.

I had to call my GF lodge when he died. I had only sat there once so I didn't know anyone.
They wouldn't have known that he died if I wouldn't have called.
There's no secret daily communication between Masons.
Honestly, I haven't went to my lodge in several years. I wouldn't know if one of the members won the lottery much less they know if I died.

Don't You get a notice? Deaths are published.

Huge possibility that they did not know that he had passed. On several occasions elderly members have passed from our lodge and we did not hear about it for months.