This is hard, really hard.  10 years ago in May.  My little doggie was born.  She didn't know she was going to come home and be my puppy, best friend, and side kick.  But, she was picked by my nephews as a fathers day gift for me.  Koda was a full blooded Australian Shepard with one brown eye and one blue eye.
When she showed up.  She was a little ball of fur.  When she was around 4 months old.  She was diagnosed with Parvo.  It was a hard two weeks.  But, she pulled there.  I told my family that if love could keep a dog alive.  This was proof.
Before long we where in-separable.  She grew up quickly.  We took hikes almost daily.  She was the only dog that I ever let sleep on my bed with me.  Another thing, she was smart.  She picked up on things quick.  She was also a big goof ball that knew when you needed to be cheered up.  She loved to get her hair cut in the summer.  She liked the way the clippers felt.  Like her own little massage.  
If you could describe the perfect dog.  That was her.  Perfect temperament, smart, loyal, and enjoying life.  She set the bar high.  She was spayed and never had a liter but, she loved puppies.  She wanted to adopt them all.  
About a year ago.  I noticed that she was starting to slow down.  She recently started to show her age in her face as well.  I slowed down on the daily walks and made them shorter.  Hitting only to her favorite spots.  I also started to prepare myself for that day that would someday come.  When we would say our good bye's.  I figured I had another two years at least with her.
Well, yesterday(Thursday).  I was sitting talking to my mother and father.  She was laying at my mothers feet, sleeping from being outside all night.  I would let her run around my
parents fenced in yard with the other dogs my parents had.  It was around 3:00 pm local.  Just my mother and I where in the living room at the time.  When she suddenly tried to
sit up.  she bumped her head on my mothers chair.  She then got to feet very wobbly and walked around the back of the couch.  I noticed something wasn't right from the get go.  I ran around the coffee table to see her disappear behind the couch.  I reversed and cut her off on the other side of the couch just in time to see her collapse.  She let out two muffled whimpers and began breathing rapidly.  I told my mom to get in the car and start it.  I ran to phone called the vet and told them they had a patient coming in code.  I then ran to the office got my father.  
We had her loaded and headed to the vet in less than five minutes.  The drive to the vet was roughly 10 minutes.  The vet was waiting in the parking lot for us.  They called her in the parking lot at the vet office.
I just didn't call her Koda.  I had a few names for her like "Koda Bear", "Cuties", and "Cutie Bears."  She seamed to really get her little tail moving when called "Cuties" as if she knew the meaning.  
I buried her in the NE corner of my parents place.  My father and a good friend came over and helped me dig a hole.  Placed a towel under and one of her favorite blankets from
her dog house over her.  I then tore a pallet down and placed the planks over top of her.  I kept her collar and all her dog tags.
I have lost family dogs before.  But, She was MY dog.  losing her hurts a lot more than I imagined.  I cried like a baby yesterday when I was alone.  Digging in 105 deg heat didn't
help either.  I got a headache, nausea, and a short lived fever.  I over worked in the heat and started drinking water to late.
I have always been amazed at how a dog will give it's owner un-conditional love.  I was always there for her.  One time we where hiking and out of no where.  She bolts out of the
bushes behind me where she had last seen me with three big feral dogs on her tail.  They looked to end her.  I charged into that melee with nothing but a over whelming urge to
save my dog.  Two dogs saw me and wanted nothing to do with the fight when they saw me charging in.  The last barely saw me in time and despite my best effort dodged my
grasp.  The look on her face was price-less.  It was "Oh NOW you show up!".  "Where were you a minute ago when I had them cornered!"  
What hurts so much is that I was there.  I did what I could as fast as I could.  Yet, this time.  I feel like I failed her.  I didn't know what was happening, a stroke? a seizure? heart
attack?  I keep thinking that maybe if I had given her CPR she would have made it.  I was thinking seizure, or hoping seizure.  Deep down I was hoping it wasn't a heart attack.
Vet wanted to know if I wanted to know for sure what took her.  I told her it was ok.  she was gone.  nothing can change that.
Her dog age was 66 to 68 depending on which website you use.
Now I sit here typing this with a empty spot by my feet.  every time I see something of hers, it gets dusty.  I'll miss her.  


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sorry for your loss




I lost my dogs one after the other starting Thanksgiving 2012 and the last in Dec of 2013


I still miss them very much

Sorry op.

I love my dogs.  They know when I'm up, they know when I'm down.

They ask for nothing and give everything in return.

I hate losing them.

Rough deal dude... I got a geriatric girl myself and I dread the day. She's 13 going on 14 now, and she's slowed way down, is has grown a bump on her leg, and is just greying all over...

Happy thoughts for you and your beloved doggo.

Pretty girl.  Sorry for your loss.

Everyone who knew her is heart broken.  
Thanks everyone.  Kind words.  They are appreciated.

Just thought I would share a few more pictures that I found.  I am really happy she was apart of my life.  LOL, she really knew how to make me laugh.

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so sorry for your loss

that dog knows how much you love her

Sounds like a great pup. Sorry for your loss.

8654

"A dog does not live as long as a man, and this natural law is the font of many tears.  If puppy and boy could grow to doghood, and manhood together, and together grow old, and so in due course die, full many a heartache would be avoided.  But the world is not so ordered, and dogs will die, and men will weep for them as long as there are dogs and men."

By Ben Ames William.  From A Wingshooter's Autumn

A friend of mine gave me a copy of that over 20 years ago when one of my dogs died.  Since then, I have lost 5 more dogs, and it never gets any easier.  The good news though, is that if you ever get another dog, you will again receive that unconditional love.  

You have my most sincere condolences.

OP, I'm sorry. I know EXACTlY what you are feeling. I lost my Midas on June 1st.

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It's been horrible. Three months have passed and I still miss him.

My recommendation is that you don't hurry the grieving process. You lost something valuable to you and it is going to hurt, probably for a long time. Don't be surprised and don't try to rush it. And when the time is right, get another dog. Doing that will help the most. But don't do it too early. Go through the grieving process first.

I've got a new pup coming. It should be here around Christmas. I've had several golden retrievers, and somehow each dog has been better than the last. However I don't see how my next dog can be better than Midas. I hope to be proven wrong, but right now I don't see how that can happen.

Maybe my next dog will be better than Midas, maybe not. But whether my new dog is they best ever or maybe only 2nd or 3rd best, it will be my dog and I will love it and it will love me. That much I know. I can hardly wait. So get another dog when you are ready....there will be a dog waiting for you when the time is right.

You might also think about making a photo book. Take some time and find his best pictures. Add comments, then make a book. I have a book of my past dog. I will make a larger one for Midas when I am able to do so.

Once again, I'm sorry you have to go through this OP. Dogs just don't live long enough.

From the day she arrived.  We where together every day.  She never spent the night away from me.  It's going to be awhile before I would even think about another dog.  
I talked to one of my friends.  He and wife went thru the same thing with their dog.  We both agreed that as we got older, we became softer.  He still hasn't got another dog.  It's been 6 yrs since he lost his dog.  
Talking to him helped.  Also reading the posts here have helped as well.  Thank you

Things are almost back to normal now.  Hard to believe it has been a month since she passed.  I still find myself doing things now and then like when I go out the door.  I hold the door open waiting for her to past me.  She was the Alpha Female of the group.  Interesting to see the other dogs don’t have a pack cohesion they did when she was around.  
I am happy to say that during her lifetime.  She helped foster between 40 and 50 puppies.  This past year was two litters of four and six.  She loved puppies.  We would hold them for the local rescue until they past their quarantine and could move to the big house.  Then get adopted out.  
First two pics are her playing with foster pups.  Third is a rescue dog that she made best friends with and played with for hours on end during a rare snow storm.  

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I still miss her.  Thankfully, I took alot of pictures of her over the years and a few videos.  She truly was a once in a lifetime dog.  I know I'll get another dog.  It will be another Australian Shepherd.  Most likely, it will also be another female.  I think I'll wait a year or so.  
God Speed Koda Bear

Just read this and I’m so sorry OP. I know how you feel and felt. She’s now playing with my Casey.

Beautiful dog, OP. So sorry for your loss. It's such a terrible feeling.

Thanks for sharing your story and posting lots of picture of her. What an awesome, strong dog to survive Parvo at 4 months old!