I wholeheartedly agree. The kind, caring souls on this site are amazing. Thank you for dropping in here.

Lymphoma is a fickle bitch. I've heard about advancements in treatment though and hope something works for your future brother in law. Jeff felt this picture appropriately conveyed the exhaustion and sickness he felt during his treatment.

Still choosing happy today. Some days it's harder than others.

I go away for a little while and come back to see you've become an HGTV star and married backbencher....Congrats.

Glad to see you're doing well.

Thank you. I didn't see myself getting married again, but that backbencher is a charmer. Travis adores him too.

I'm no HGTV star! I just make an effort. Most times my projects come out okay.

Everytime her projects turn out great and I'm afraid if I deploy by the time I get back I won't be able to recognize the house.

Just saw this and read through the first few pages. The awesomeness of some of the people on this site is outstanding. Cancer is a shitshow. I pray none of us ever have to endure a millisecond of it. But, sadly, it is a thing and we will have to see it around. Seeing the outpouring of well wishes and hope in this thread, so far, is very uplifting. I'll come back and continue reading. Thanks for being you!!!

I just had one of those moments. I bought a beer I dont have often, Edmund Fitzgerald made by great lakes. Took a sip and got deja vu.

Instantly remembered a night sitting at the computer watching subnet and listening to music. Fatal was still alive and he requested the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, said it was his favorite.

It's odd how memories creep in. Jeff has been on my mind a lot lately. Travis is looking more and more like Jeff's school pictures. Jeff's name still comes up often at work (we worked together). I'm glad others remember him fondly, too.

This thread, those few years ago, moved me from a non-member lurker to a registered user, just to post here. The thread is still one of only a few i subscribe to. I remember.

I remember.

Reta, so good to see you & kids are doing so well.

Almost 5 years ago Jeff posted in GD just looking for someone to talk, or possibly even keep him company in the hospital. We as a community came together and helped him and his family the best we could, weather it be preys or someone to talk to in the middle of night. In these past 5 years my life as been non stop between college, deployment, 3 kids, and recently switching job. After all of that my new job brought me only few hours away from them and today I finally got to meet FW_Wife and Backbencher. They are two great people and my family and I had a great time hanging out with them and their son.

Likewise, it was a pleasure to meet you and your beautiful family. You guys holler anytime you're in the area. Those boys of yours are darling, and they have the best momma!

We enjoyed meeting you as well.  Thank you for all you've done for this family.  We're hoping y'all end up even closer to us.  I'll even loan out our oldest as a babysitter - no way am I keeping up w/ your eldest!

Thought I'd fill y'all in - the 13 year old ran his 1st 2 mile cross-country race today.  He finished and didn't quit - all in all, a miracle for a kid born w/ club feet.  We're very proud of him.

Damn, it's been 5 years?  The best thread I have ever been a part of. It still enters my mind when dealing with daily/difficult situations. The members came together and kicked ass but FW gave us all so many gifts and wisdom.

FW_wife says hi.  She's prepping to have a ball joint replaced this morning.  Will give y'all an update when she gets out of surgery.

Good luck!
We expect a successful surgery, quick recovery and a recording of the funny shit she'll say coming out of anesthesia.

The recovery should be pretty fast - last week she put in a 30 mile ride on the bike.

She's safely home.  We did the math, and the boy was born while FW_wife still had screws in her hip, so I'm now calling him Spawn of Cyborg.

Good News.  
I'm sure she'll be back to kickin' your ass in no time...with a much smoother delivery on the run-up and follow-through.  

Home Health just left.  She's the same physical therapist Fatalwishes had 5 years ago.

FW_wife is doing well.  She rode her bike the other day for 8 miles.  Not as far as she was riding before surgery, but she's recovered remarkably well.

Jeff left behind a Century FAL receiver, and two metric magazines.  Thanks to members here, I just got in a stock and a lower receiver:

https://www.ar15.com/forums/t_6_7/493271_Fatalwishes-memorial-build.html

wow very sad to read all of this, RIP. I'm also in the Fort Worth area, he seemed like a great guy!

Welcome to ARFCOM.  Got any Legos?

Fatalwishes just got a phone call.  Sales, of course.  I pointed out he hadn't been able to take the call for some years now, and they were to take us off the list.

Backbencher does plenty of posting for the both of us and LIVES on ARFCOM, but I know I've been remiss and it's time I contributed.

Five years. I'm amazed at human resiliency, at how we protect ourselves and become numb to or forget painful moments. No, I haven't forgotten Jeff or become numb, but the happy memories surface much more often than the painful ones, thankfully. I still miss him, but I'm not so sad anymore. There's still a part of my heart that is reserved for Jeff. I recently watched a video clip of a comedian comparing men's and women's brains. He said men's brains are made up of boxes - one for the kids, one for the job, one for the wife, one for the mother-in-law (somewhere in the basement of the brain), etc. - and the boxes must NEVER touch. A man will go to one box, discuss that one thing then close it back up, being sure not to touch any other boxes. A woman's brain is one ball of wire where everything is connected to everything - the job is connected to the house which is connected to the dishwasher which is connected to the kids, etc. I don't think my brain is like that at all. I think mine is more compartmentalized. I have a lousy memory so I don't drum up old arguments. Isn't Backbencher lucky?

When it comes to Jeff, I feel like I have a box in my brain or my heart just for him. I visit the box occasionally, when I can handle it. I just looked back at Jeff's last post here (page 158) and can practically hear his voice again. Oh, that red-neck accent of his. Then I read my post about him going to hospice. I can see that day like a movie playing in my head. We had spoken to the oncologist who had nothing good to say, and to one of our company's doctors who said he had maybe two weeks, then a chaplain, and then things moved so fast. Jeff got a nice dose of Dilaudid so the EMS guys could bundle him up on a gurney to transport him. I can see the nurse's face as she approached me while we were waiting for the elevator. She was almost protective, like "What do you think you're doing with my patient?!" She hugged me so tight when I told her he was going to hospice. All the nurses on the floor adored Jeff and were sad to see him go. ...Now I can close that box for a while.

Travis is a constant reminder, too, and I know how proud Jeff would be of him. He's still such a happy kid in spite of everything. One of Jeff's buddies (now my buddy) was over Thursday and was shocked at how much Travis has grown in the last few months and at how much he looks like "Jeffry". He's got Jeff's curls, just on the top of his head. He's not the greatest student, but is such a good kid. He does his chores without being asked. He can't remember to apply deodorant to save his life but I guess that comes with being a 13-year-old boy. He has a blast with his sisters, enjoys The Amazing World of Gumball, video games, Pokemon, spaghetti/mac'n'cheese/pizza/chicken nuggets/fish sticks, movies, Lego, and anything that makes him laugh. He and Backbencher get along like a house on fire and that makes me one happy momma.

I have to thank all of you nice folks once again for helping Jeff and me through one of life's most difficult circumstances. You helped ease his soul during a frightening ordeal, lightened his spirits with your companionship and prayers, and gave him some much-needed laughs. You also gave me my amazing husband, aka "last" husband. (There will not be another one.) And you continue to put up with me and my little updates. Know that I am forever grateful.

That’s beautiful, God bless you and your family.

Thanks for sharing Reta.  
I'm glad to hear that you and the kids are doing well.  I know that Jeff would be happy that you're happy.

There are some things in life that are too important, too precious, too meaningful, to set aside.  
Jeff's memory is one of those things for me.  What you went through and the outpouring of love from strangers is one of those things for me.

God Bless.

Just found out that not only is deodorant not in the boy's memory banks, so is the date on which he ran out of soap for showers @ school.  It's a wonder the bathtub doesn't have a ring around it on Saturdays, lol.

Gonna have to ask his grandmother about that one.

Reta, thanks for that update. I too can't believe it's been five years. I had been lurking the 'in-stock' threads mostly, and saw this wild, amazing, touching human story in GD (once in a blue moon, right?). I only registered on the site to post some heartfelt thoughts and prayers, for whatever good that does. I stayed. Five years. I'm toasting Jeff's memory now. Heckuva journey. I'm glad you have held together, and Travis too. I still need to get my old avatar resized for the new standard. Best to your whole family.

Glad you're doing well.

I can't believe it's been five years either. I spoke with jeff a bit on the phone while he was in the hospital. It broke my heart to know what you guys were going through but he seemed to be incredibly brave as did you Reta.
More prayers sent for you guys. I'm sure Jeff is happy for you.

I was Listening to the highway men, the last thing I remember listening to when my dad died when I was 6 yo then the Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald just came up on and Iost it . Instantly thought of Jeff,  RIP

FW_wife and I were talking of cancer last night, and the situation of knowing the approximate date of one's own death, only shared w/ the condemned.  Jeff experienced that; others here have experienced something very close.  I have not - short of stepping in front of a bus, I can expect my death well after the boy has graduated and started a family of his own.  We make our plans on that - Jeff did - and our plans can be interrupted at any time.

I felt moved to post here today.  I think sometimes it's enough just for other people to know you care.  
Sometimes, that's all you can do.

So...Hey.

I tried to briefly describe this thread to my wife while gazing out the window.  She said "You're crying, aren't you?".  I said "Yes".

Well "Hey" back atcha!

Travis and I are on a vacation from hell, though it's getting better. He's a trooper, I tell ya. I'm pretty calm and collected too, until I miss a flight, have been up 24 hours then you tell me I don't have a hotel room. I'm not too proud to sob on a hotel reception counter. Travis is either completely clueless, or he's just unfazed by it all. He might show some mock frustration for comedic effect (likely to cheer me up), but really he goes with the flow.

The girls are doing well. Middle child has started aesthetician school and is really in her element. The oldest is finally transferring to a four-year college to work toward finishing her degree. The course load looks pretty daunting.

Backbencher is doing the needful, as always. We're so very lucky he stumbled upon us, giving what we didn't know we needed. We haven't run him off yet, so we must be doing something right, too.

For the record - it was someone from up north in this thread that pushed me, it's not my fault!  And I have run about as far away as I can get at the moment.  

Six years yesterday.  I remember.

I followed this thread way back when. It really enhanced my belief that there are good people and many of them are arftards. Some of the posters here have become dear and longtime friends. I thank arfcom for that. I did not personally know Jeff, but I see his spirit over and over on this board, my imaginary home. Adversity doesn't create heroes, it just shows us who they are.

Ayup. Lots of thoughts & feelings, but not much else to say.

Best to Reta, Travis & the family.

FW_wife is resting somewhat uncomfortably @ the moment, but am listening to the nurse telling her they're going to up her pain medication.  She just had some no longer used parts taken out this morning, spending the night in the hospital.

First the hip replacement, now this, she's less & less the woman I married.  One of the girls sat with her today and my pistol-packing MIL picked up the boy.  They just gave her some fun stuff and so her nausea is down, so she's eating graham crackers.  They're gonna have her walking in a bit.

Prayers, Reta!  
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Best wishes for her recovery.  Hope you all have a better Christmas time and she is feeling better.

Just spoke w/ her, she is going home.  The oldest girl was pulling the car around.

When she was getting her hip replaced, the boy asked her if she was going to be a cyborg.  We had a good chuckle over that, and then realized that he was born while she still had the screws in her hip from the original fix of the break - making him Spawn of Cyborg.

Hello all! I'm still here, minus one cervix and uterus. This year has been focused on the lady parts and I can't say I miss them. I think once women are done having kids, they should get that crap yanked (maybe keep an ovary). Nothing but problems.

Anywho... I just completed some online continuing education for my cute little EHR Specialist certification. Otherwise, I'm not sure why I'm awake at this ridiculous hour and the quality of this post may be affected.

Alex finished her first semester at "real college", after dropping linear algebra and finishing with a decent 3.14. Kristen is zipping right along and running circles around her fellow esthetician students. Travis is still the happiest kid you'll ever meet. He did well in cross country this year. Still finished last in each race, but his times improved from last year.

Backbencher has been deployed so I'm holding down the fort. I'm very lucky he came and fixed the lawnmower five years ago. And I'm thankful for his church friends who invited him to $2 margaritas around the corner from my house. I'm glad he's a persistent son-of-a-gun and kept offering to mow the yard, buy me a margarita, and go out with the church friends. He's such a good guy. Loving, honorable, generous, smart, tenacious, a little crazy. Evidently I have a "type".

Though Backbencher and I talk every day, without him here my thoughts wander back to Jeff more often, and especially around this time of year. I try to think more about the good times. I have photos on my computer that scroll as a screensaver, so I get nice glimpses of vacations and events and just sweet moments - Jeff and Travis putting toys together at Christmas, the pride Jeff took in his vehicles, dinner with family. The pain does lessen. I guess when a loss is fresh, that's all you can focus on - loss and pain - and you want or need to just be sad. But now I savor the good memories and share them with the kids.

As always, I owe much to ARFCOM and you lovely folks. I hate to hear about Ed's difficulties. I started reading his coming out thread but it hits a little close to home. I rely on Backbencher to give me updates instead. Ed certainly started something wonderful here. I'm sure he couldn't have known how it would grow or how it would affect so many in different ways. Thank you, Ed. And thank you, everyone!

Cheers Ed.  Break a leg.

Took two of Jeff's guns shooting today w/ our FIL - Jeff's AK and his Ruger .44 Reta carried when she scattered Jeff's ashes.