Has anyone else noticed the massive uptick in guard transmissions lately? Its nothing but ATC looking for airliners, people having conversations, and last night I had a fucking Jetblue and Delta aircraft talking to eachother in Spanish on guard.

What. The. Fuck.

FCC Warning

Just use 243 for private comms then

How can anyone even get an illicit transmission in on USAF common?

Ha, I get it now.

So yea......

Ha! Came here to post this.

Wouldn't the FAA have a dog in this fight?

FCC says "We'll fine the license holder (airline)"  Pilot - "BFD"

FAA says "Safety violation - we'll fine the pilot and/or suspend his pilot's license." Pilot - "Ok, I'll be good."

You know for all the bluster about this I have noticed that chatter over 121.5 has been down substantially over the last couple months. At the beginning of the year it was all over the place

I can't believe some of the shit I've heard over 121.5 the past year or so.

I routinely check 121.5 to make sure the ELT didn't activate with my landing (). I've heard guys talking about their avionics upgrades to plans for the weekend.

Once, I broadcast "Aircraft on Guard 121.5, switch to my frequency 123.45".

Dead silence... for a little bit.

It's been several decades, but that's what we called "guard" frequency when I was a radio tech.....

The level of retardation on Guard has definitely gone way up in the last 2-3 years...basically ever since the "livin' the dream" youtube video.

That being said, I'd love to see the FCC tail-chase trying to DF and identify the morons doing the shitposting.  It isn't like they're going to do a slowcount before and after their "D as in Doooooog" comment so the FCC can get a really good azimuth fix on 'em.  Even the guy who was doing the "Allahu Ahkbar" call to prayer over the freq a year or two ago was only transmitting for 30 sec or so in one transmission.

Anyone who has tried to do SAR knows that you can't geolocate crap off a single transmission like that.

I think "Will" from the notice definitely wants to hear about everytime an aircraft calls ops on the ground on guaaaaaaaaaaaard.

Aircraft transmitting identify yourself immediately!

Can't be as bad as the Channel 16 Filippino Monkey.

Meow

"Yer on guaaaard" bros.. deeeerrrrrp

We listen to guard during ferry flights, otherwise we are monitoring company.  The guard special olympics drive me nuts.

I expect more from professional pilots.

"I believe it was Patrick Henry, Sir!"

Old Vietnam joke.

Your radios don't have a VHF plus Guard function?
I thought all aircraft were required to monitor guard at all times since it is the emergency frequency.

Two VHF radios in most civil aircraft. Either monitor Guard , company freq, or ARINC plus ATC.

In the UK, they have a dedicated section that monitors 121.5, among other frequencies.   They can DF anyone in the UK within a few seconds.  That's paired with radar so it's pretty easy to figure out who's out there.

I agree with those who've posted that guard is a giant shitshow the last few years.  We fly with a few radios tied to guard and the amount of garbage on the freq is insane.  Admittedly, some of it is funny.

So no plus guard function?  Seems odd.

Meow.....

I believe all centers have guard now where they didn't a year or so ago. That being said it's good for a laugh every now and then when somebody blasts something funny.

"I said I'm fucking bored, not fucking stupid."

My UHFs do but it takes a bit of extra gymnastics to get them online so when we ferry they're usually off. When I'm not ferrying they are usually tuned to a Primary freq and an area common.

I've never heard of a requirement to monitor guard, just a suggestion.

My airline has a flight manual requirement to monitor guard on the #2 radio, as did the airline I used to work at.  Most do it, but lately we have had to turn it way down, because of all the stupid shenanigans on frequency.

I have yet to see a pilot from my major (or any other major, while jump seating), say anything stupid on guard.  I'll wager 99.9% of that is coming from the regionals.  "work, work, work"  etc.

We usually have guard on com 3 where I work. I don't hear much guard foolishness in Alaska.

Around here it could save your life, so I think we take it seriously.    Further, lot of folks use 123.45, company frequency isn't monitored by anyone important and everyone has a "private" frequency they switch to for the good stuff.

Guard Police

The steady thrum of the mighty P-dubs drone incessantly into the night. I am almost oblivious to their presence as I maintain my vigil, patrolling 121.5 from Timmins to Toronto like a pacing Doberman. The toothpick rides up front, balanced on my lower lip just above the soul patch, the tip vibrating like a tuning fork. A sudden burst of static flares out of the #2 radio, causing the adrenaline to race madly for a split second before subsiding. The toothpick shoots up like a power antenna and then lays flat once more, waiting patiently for the next intrusion. “Easy, my friend”, I mutter under my breath. “They’ll be back….

“Whas that?” The left seat warmer emerges from behind his papery tent of Globe and Mail, an inquisitive look on his face. “You say sumpin?” I wave him away impatiently and return to the task at hand. You see, chaps, I have no time for such frivolous recreational pursuits such as reading when flying.

My mission is far bolder and my purpose clear: I am a self-trained, highly experienced member of the guard police.

In fact, if the guard police handed out ranks, I would probably be a corporal. To date, I have over 2367 confirmed penalized violations on 121.5, all swiftly punished by my ruthless and relentless curt radio transmission: “YOU’RE ON GUARD!!” These three powerful words smite violators like a scimitar, laying bare your error for all of your peers to judge. No matter if you are a hapless student pilot calling final on the wrong radio, or a chubby corporate flyer calling ahead for a lav dump at the FBO, nobody escapes my swift intervention into your shocking transgression. I consider it a personal travesty that a trained professional could be so irresponsible to transmit on the wrong freq, and delight in clenching the transmit button and snarling my stern correction from my listening post in the Dash. I’m like an AWACS in that sense, gents.

I pause from my post briefly and watch the lights of Sudbury slide by in the inky blackness. Maybe everyone will behave tonight and maintain strict radio protocol after all. I make a routine entry in the guard police black notebook. 2230 local. All is quiet.

And then it happens.

A heavy Korean accent making a position report.

Stammering and stumbling over fuel quantities, time over, next waypoints….and all on 121.5! The mullet curls up in anger like an epic wave, and the toothpick stands straight up at attention, vibrating like a guitar string. My fingers twitch over the mic button, waiting for the horrific crescendo to be complete. Excitement pummels the seat cushion beneath me as the flight deck fills with a gaseous explosion consisting of limburger cheese, baked beans and broccoli. The Left Seat Warmer slumps over, grasping for the wemac, the Globe and Mail flapping feebly like a limp sail!

Silence now, but only for a second. I stab the mic button with a sweaty grasp and howl my protest into the northern Ontario darkness. I bellow my distaste in a hail of abuse and rage. “On guard! On guard! YOU ARE ON GUARDDDDD!!!”

I release the mike and slump back in my seat heavily. Another successful round of punishment issued. I scratch the number with pride in my little black notebook: 2368.

Watch those transmissions out there, blokes. I’ll be listening. Notebook in hand.

Thinking like Desert_AIP here.    All my time on the C-130 with the UHF radio you had to turn Guard "Off" to not monitor 243.0.  The normal position Guard was monitored.   For the VHF I wanna say it was also monitoring Guard(121.5) as well but it's been so long now I can remember if it defaulted to monitoring or not.   ARC-186 from those days.   Rarely did you ever hear anything on Guard on 121.5.   243.0 was always hearing the occasional tones but not much talk.    But I retired in late 2003.   Part of the preflight was to check Guard on UHF but not required on VHF.

Perhaps that was a mil requirement to monitor Guard at all times.

Over STL one night, I actually heard "I might be Ignant, but I ain't be Stoopid!"

A bunch of Regional pukes had driven the Contoller Batshit insane with barnyard noises on guard.   He said: "I've worked this sector for 18 years, and I have Never encountered any bunch of Pilots as Unprofessional as You".      -It generated Laughs, chuckles, dr. Evil laugh, Homer Simpson "Duuuhhhop!", and every type of domestic and jungle animal chirps, barks, meows, moooo's, sceechowl screeches, Oinks, Snorts, grunts, yelps.  

We were flying 6-10 legs a day with deferred air conditioning, so everyday was a Laugh before you Cry kinda day.  

Nowadays, I can't stand those "Guuaaarrrrd" assholes.   Literally have to turn it down.    Such a lack of creativity.  

Shenanigans are less funny when you get older.  

Wish I didn't know now, what I didn't know then.

One night I heard 3 meows about 30 seconds apart.  After the 3rd, someone said,  "Hi Delta."

No real requirement for it in the FARs.

A busy center or approach frequency plus Guard would be utterly unintelligible.

The other day I flew through two high altitude sectors without checking on due to frequency congestion. The Center controller literally said, "N123AB, are you with me? Contact Denver on 123.45."

Did you at least tell the controller they were transmitting on guard!

The com 2 radio in my plane goes to open squelch when you tune 121.5.  it's a *feature*.  So, no, I never monitor guard

"This is me".  

Was that you in Crested Butte about a month ago? I think I saw the bike in your logo with with a BFL on the saddle bag.

Nope. I was working, too busy transmitting nonsense on guard.

CONUS Guard is a giant mess - you don't hear the stupidity anywhere else in the world...

The guy flying at the "Coalition Warship" on the East Coast the other day was hopefully monitoring guard...

Actually the ship wasn't using the appropriate sim guard freq for the exercise. Happens a lot.

It did change to "United States Navy Warship" on the third or fourth attempt.  Apparently they had a pretty good radar - calling out the speed, altitude, direction traveling, etc.  Probably something hooked into the radar could do some damage...

Their radar systems are very good, it's almost comical to hear the morons on CNN talk about how the Russian jets snuck up on them.

We heard the crews talking on their tac freq about the ship being on actual guard and got a good laugh.

I'm sure there were some folks listening in wondering if someone was about to be shot down.

I've flown places where we get the freqs to the ships in the area.  We are instructed to check-in with them because they don't mess around when it comes to protecting their floating home...  Granted we had a whole slew of other things telling them who we were but I always checked in.

No, they don't mess around at all. I tend to give any large decks I see as wide a berth as possible for that very reason.

We called 243.0 Dog

When I was getting my SEL, our school's "company frequency" was the same as Mexicana or AeroMexico's company ground channel at ORD (we were at KPWK). When they would get particularly chatty, one of our instructors would grab the mic and say something like "Cinco, cinco, Mike cinco". That was usually followed by a confused person on the other end saying "Mike Cinco???". We always got a chuckle out of it.

123.45 aka "Fingers" is technically not kosher either.  Over land that is a reserved freq. for flight test activities.  Its use is coordinated by an agency known as the Aerospace & Flight Test Radio Coordinating Council. Oceanic, once beyond the range of ground statons, it is authorized for air to air comms.

Once again on my flight today center and airliners were burning up guard. I turned of TR+G and just went to TR.

Its fucking aggravating.