im doing SSL the easy way, letting cloudflare handle it all and also getting the DDOS and caching benefits.  hosting done by godaddy, their economy linux 12/year hosting.  so my inside server IP is hidden from the world.  and godaddy is givine me free email for the domain.

my problem is that MX; it seems there is no way around exposing your inside IP address if you want your hosting provider to handle your mail?  id imagine there is some clever workaround here, but i cant figure it out.

MX records should almost always go to an external address. 

Simplest way is to use a third party to host your mail, like Google apps for business. You still get a [email protected] and the MX records point to their servers. Of course there are other optionstoo if you don't want to use google, but it's the most common.

right ok got it, found zoho is free to do this, setting up SPF and DKIM now