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Posted: 6/5/2008 4:18:26 AM EST
My wife is getting scared of all the extra food we have and I guess getting 3 bags of dogfood instead of one two days ago made her talk to me. I have stocked up a little a few cases of Can foods, Rice, Beans, (spam still trying to get the wife to try spam and eggs hmmm) and I guess the 5 new pales that showed up yesterday too got to her as well.

So what can I do?

I am fine on the ammo side except 22lr but the food side what can I do.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:24:54 AM EST
I had to stop telling my wife and do it on days when she wasn't home.

That's a problem if you are ordering pales instead of packing your own and storing them out of site.

My problem was her understanding, she thought I was planning for the end of the World and I couldn't explane to her you don't plan for that.

Good luck
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:35:52 AM EST
What do you mean by "Scared", exactly?
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:36:22 AM EST
Is the issue the money or does she think you're nuts? I ask this seriously, because we went through both of those phases before we got to the point where we are now. My wife reminds me we need to pick up another 40 pounds of rice because we opened one small bag.

R.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:39:25 AM EST
If you're not creating budget problems,then do what you think is best!!!
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:48:09 AM EST
I have been hounding my wife for the past 3 months to buy extras. She has resisited.

HOWEVER,,,,, Last night she came home from Wal-Mart, and says "Wal Mart is running out of food" Then she explains that a lot of the basic things we buy, wally world was out of.

I smiled and said " I have been trying to tell you"

Fortunately, I have been buying stuff.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:50:27 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 4:52:45 AM EST by Cacinok]
i'd say sit down and talk to her about it. ask her if she got scared when you got car insurance, home owners/renters insurance, life insurance, health insurance, and saved money as insurance. then explain that prepping is simply insurance against the inability to get the product you want, for whatever reason, be it health problems, monetary, other disasters. besides, buying in bulk makes sense b/c it saves you trips to the store and paying more in gas, and not to mention the time it saves you, which also has value, etc., assuming, of course, your being fiscally responsible about it.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:02:23 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 5:11:42 AM EST by Jen]
You need to explain to her that it's a hedge against price increases, which if she does any grocery shopping I'm sure she knows about. It's stuff you'll use and if prices keep going the way they are she'll be grateful you bought the stuff when you did. How would she feel if you couldn't afford food later down the road? It's all stuff you can, and will, use. If you could have had the forethought to buy and store a bunch of gas when it was back at $1 / gallon.. with prices the way they are now, wouldn't you have done so? How much would you have saved? A lot when we're talking 4x the price today that it was not all that long ago. Rice is going up, beans are going up, everything we buy at the grocery store is going up.. why not store some at a lower price as a hedge against the even higher prices we're likely to see in the not so distant future? It's not hard to find newspaper articles talking about rising prices on everything from rice and wheat to damned near everything else you might need, so use those to illustrate to her how much more things are starting to cost and how storing now is going to save you money.

If she still won't go along with the program, do it where she can't see it or know about it, if you have to, get a storage unit and keep your preps there.

ETA: Better Yet.. start a psychological warfare program ;) Put those newspaper, magazine articles, etc.. talking about skyrocketing prices on food, etc.. where ever you know she'll see them. She see's enough different MAINSTREAM sources telling people prices are going up, inventory is going down, etc.. maybe she might even suggest you stock up.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:18:14 AM EST

Originally Posted By ffhounddog:
My wife is getting scared of all the extra food we have and I guess getting 3 bags of dogfood instead of one two days ago made her talk to me. I have stocked up a little a few cases of Can foods, Rice, Beans, (spam still trying to get the wife to try spam and eggs hmmm) and I guess the 5 new pales that showed up yesterday too got to her as well.

So what can I do?

I am fine on the ammo side except 22lr but the food side what can I do.


I've been married (to the same woman) for almost 30 years. Here's a few things to keep in mind:

- If she manages the house hold budget, AND it is "tight" as it is for many of us, then she may perceive this effort by you to stockpile emergency supplies as reducing the amount of money needed for other things, e.g. rent, utilities, clothing for the kids, saving for the family vacation, etc.

- Women have a tendency to want to feel secure. Anything you do to prepare for a SHTF situation does NOT make her feel secure. This is because most women are smart enough to realize, that no matter how much emergency supplies you stockpile in your house, the hordes of zombies (likely armed zombies) will likely overwhelm any one family defending their home. Even the thought of a SHTF scenario makes them unhappy and gives them feelings of insecurity. NO WOMAN that I know wants to feel insecure.

What can you do?

- Ask your wife to humor you. Have her consider this as a "hobby" for you and make sure you get a "budget". This by the way is the same budget you get for guns, ammo, emergency 5KW generator, golf, skiing, etc. YOU have to balance your budget. What's it going to be? A new AR or 16 cases of MREs? Two dozen cans of SPAM or a box of ammo?

- Work with your wife on where SHE would like YOU to store the emergency supplies. In the basement? In the attic? NOT in the master bedroom or the hall closet, right? Also work with her to come up with "how many days/weeks of emergency rations should our family have?"

- Keep the area compact and neat. The reserves of SPAM should not be cluttering up her kitchen closet. Ditto with the bags of rice, flour, etc. YOU are responsible for rotating part of your food reserve into the pantry for current consumption.

- If there is an extended power blackout, make sure you are able to get your emergency generator started up and running the furnace, fridge and some lighting. The first time that happens, she will begin to think that you are not the loony-bin over-the-edge paranoid gun freak you turned into since she married you
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:28:32 AM EST
Scared as in Paranoid.

I am a little bit I guess but we have had 3 storms and I keep saying dear you know that generator that you do not want me to buy could come in handy if there is a bad one.

At least she agreed to the 2 propane tank deal. I said I can get two now and when one goes out then I hae a spare to use and not have to cancel a BBQ or run to the store before closing.

Maybe that is what i will have to do.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:35:16 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:36:40 AM EST
There was a story recently on FOX NEWS about how, in light of ever rising food costs, stockpiling 'certain items' was a better value that shopping with coupons.

Buying (storable) food now, SAVES MONEY.

Make an appeal to her sense of thrift.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:43:31 AM EST
TJ, I've made it a point to just shut up and read when you post but this is one minor point where I've got to disagree with your wisdom. We shield our toddler from "unpleasantness" but it's just my wife and I - we don't have any family out here. If I need to do some "bird hunting", I want my wife armed and aware in case any birds fly over the back fence while I'm gone.

Ffh, was your wife around when you first started prepping? If so, what was her attitude towards it then? Did she know, did she just humor you, was she on-board but only to an extent? My wife always worried about "looking like one of those loonie survivalists" but the more we prepped and the better stocked we got, the further that line moved (I think it's now radiation suits and a bunker - everything short of that is "just common sense"). Just trying to figure out what tipped the scale for her....
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:45:34 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 5:51:40 AM EST by Torin]

Originally Posted By ffhounddog:
My wife is getting scared of all the extra food we have and I guess getting 3 bags of dogfood instead of one two days ago made her talk to me. I have stocked up a little a few cases of Can foods, Rice, Beans, (spam still trying to get the wife to try spam and eggs hmmm) and I guess the 5 new pales that showed up yesterday too got to her as well.

So what can I do?

I am fine on the ammo side except 22lr but the food side what can I do.


Seriously, I see these posts pop up constantly on a number of forums. "My wife doesn't get it and wants me to stop!" Well, the only thing I can think is you have spent an enormous amount of your budget on 'toys' with a few cans off food tossed in as camo, and things for the family (as in not you) have gone unpurchased. Don't even argue that:) Our little family of two can eat for 3-4 months easily on what I paid for my AR...another month on ammo, another month on the optics...not to mention pistols, gear, mag, ammo, the safe...

If she understands the advantage of buying food items in bulk, then sit yourself down (without her) and total up all spending you have made in 2007 for food, and do the same for 2008 (keep seperate for comparison). Include the pizza ordered, and stops to McDs etc. Then propose you go out and spend this weekend what you normally spend in 1 month on food at the store, in bulk. Make a list of what you use in a typical month and buy 3x that much. I did this 2 months ago and we are still looking at a full kitchen. Also, make a list of what you buy in a month for disposable items (toothpaste, tp, etc) and triple that--it costs as much as food or more.

Here's some tips! Buy a bread maker, a rice cooker (with steamer top), and plenty of sweets! The house should always smell like bread baking. Buy any convience appliances to cook these staples so you will use them, and not dial dominos. Buy small designer containers (have her buy them) that can sit on the counter holding a portion of rice, flour, etc for easy use. Then HIDE THE NASTY BAGS SOMEWHERE ELSE and when your countertop storage runs low, take the container to the preps for refill. Let the kitchen be a kitchen, not a warehouse. Preps should be a comfort, not a reminder of the possibilities.

Finally, I prep for 2 things. One that the guns I buy today may not be available for my kids soon. Two, people are stupid! If the media says "Walmart out of food" we will have a riot. Think about cabbage patch kids....parents clubbed each other for a freakin doll to shut their kids up, imagine if they THINK that's the last box of rice!? "I was doing it to protect my family!" We stock up food to stay away from the lines in times like those.


ETA: between clicking "quote" and submit a lot of people are posting, so this should be interesting as we are all saying about the same things. Can we get a few woman's opinons on the subject?
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:51:55 AM EST
your wife should be in the know so if you fall your kids aren't helpless.

Most women no matter how strong their faith do not like to listen to the hal lindsey report let alone see you planning for such events in the pantry.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:57:20 AM EST
The "plus one" works well here. You are using the big Sam's Club box of detergent and you have the "plus one" in back of it. Not scary. Having to run to Walmart in the middle of the night and having to post in GD about blading and disengaging ..... Scary.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 5:57:31 AM EST
i've been flying below radar for a while now stocking up on stuff, but am gettign to the point where the wife and i will have to have the talk. you guys have made a lot of good points and i appreciate the wisdom. one of the best things i have ever heard:

"Think about cabbage patch kids....parents clubbed each other for a freakin doll to shut their kids up, imagine if they THINK that's the last box of rice!? "I was doing it to protect my family!"
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:00:05 AM EST

FFhound my suggestion would be is to show her events that's been happening not only locally but around the globe. We as a society in general tend to think just because it's happening somewhere else that we are ok where we are at.

It may take sometime for your wife to absorb the events and start thinking the way you do. Goodluck.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:02:53 AM EST
This is a consistent theme on this and every "survival" type forum I have ever been on. There is some disconnect between spouses and it usually comes down to a few key issues-
1. Money 2. Concern about the activity ("survivalists" don't have the best reputation) 3. Space isses- Where we are storing the stuff? 4. Truth issues- you are "hiding" things from him/her.

My thoughts? This is something that I addressed prior to becoming married. I took my fiance aside and said, "Look, you are marrying a gun kook" Literally, that's what I told her-word for word. "I love guns and wearing camo and running around in the woods shooting tasty animals...this is what I am. I love you alot but the gun thing is not something I can change so either you can join me in doing that stuff or we can agree that it's MY THING and let it go at that, or we better rethink this Marriage thing"

At first it was "my thing" and we had some fights over how "my thing" and the time, space and money it was consuming was interfering with "her thing(s)" and our "life together". Then as we made more $ etc...those issues mainly went away. She has a craft room, I have a gun room.....she had "house money" and I had "toy fund"...... Throughout all of this I tried hard not to hide anything from her. I went the honesty route and yes we fought about it sometimes but as long as it was "toy money" etc....she had to respect that in the end. Further, because I wasn't hiding things I never triggered any of the insecurity issues that most women have...."If he's hiding and lying about this, what else don't I know about...?"

Then we had kids.....my wife who had come from a conservative but solidly Labor Union Democrat family....suddenly became a Nazi! Anything that threatened her family was BAD and needed to be dealt with accordingly-RIGHT NOW. How dare they tax us and take $ from her kids food budget to support some welfare moms brood! Crazy Muslims attacked a SCHOOL in Beslan, Russia and killed a bunch of CHILDREN?....Hey, haven't they-crazy Muslims- attacked us too? What's to stop them from attacking MY kids school? Hurricane Katrina results in a break down in government services including law and order-bodies floating in the streets, anarchy at Government shelters-all in 24 hour color on the news.....Momma took notice, and ACTION.

The Pantry is now her domain-and well stocked. I am limited primarily to role of pack mule at Sams in that regard. I am still mainly "Gun Guy, Defender of Hearth and Home" but she has insisted on having her own guns AND being trained to use them. For me, the Mothering Instinct was the big change. SHE is in charge of her family's welfare and Lord Have Mercy on anything that threatens that in any way because SHE will not!

Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:05:22 AM EST
Being sneaky is fun.

Make a game out of it.

I do.

Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:09:33 AM EST

Originally Posted By gofish24:
i've been flying below radar for a while now stocking up on stuff, but am gettign to the point where the wife and i will have to have the talk. you guys have made a lot of good points and i appreciate the wisdom. one of the best things i have ever heard:

"Think about cabbage patch kids....parents clubbed each other for a freakin doll to shut their kids up, imagine if they THINK that's the last box of rice!? "I was doing it to protect my family!"


Thanks man. Honestly, I prep for people. I only worry about people. My goal is to stay away from people in a time of crisis. I will render any and all aid, happily share my knowledge, and lead, but I won't be shopping with them. It is a time of insanity and vulnerability.

You want to get your wife involved in prepping, take one of those Katrina food-line pictures, zoom way in, and photoshop your families heads on one of the families, then zoom out and save it. Show her the picture, and say 'can you imagine that!' Then, slowly zoom in until the mass becomes a group, that group becomes a few families, and finally YOUR family!
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:35:53 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 6:48:19 AM EST by TomJefferson]
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:42:11 AM EST

Originally Posted By ffhounddog:
Scared as in Paranoid.

I am a little bit I guess but we have had 3 storms and I keep saying dear you know that generator that you do not want me to buy could come in handy if there is a bad one.

At least she agreed to the 2 propane tank deal. I said I can get two now and when one goes out then I hae a spare to use and not have to cancel a BBQ or run to the store before closing.

Maybe that is what i will have to do.


I think it's denial.
Much like someone that has just heard bad news, like cancer, etc.
Denial is powerful and a natural response.
Depending on how spooked she is, you can expect - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I'm not talking about 'not get out of bed' type depression but more of a helpless feeling.

Explain it to her on a 'feeling' level.
example, how would she feel if she had the chance to provide a safety net for your family but failed to do so.
YMMV, but this is how I did it with my wife.
good luck
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:46:49 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 6:49:22 AM EST by ffhounddog]
I was not a Gun Guy until I met her.

She came with a Browning Buckmark and a box of Federal Ammo.

I had no guns because my mom said guns are bad.

After Guns came I need Ammo then more guns. I am already planning another AR because I have the parts laying around except for a barrel. I know BRD.

Right now its Mags and my new AR-7. She likes it because it weights less than 3 pounds. I needed a 22lr that was portable.

After reading books and seeing what Iraq was like for Almost two years and going down to Katrinia made me say we are not that far off from being cavemen.

My wife is on board a bit as long as the food we get we use. She hates storage because there is clutter. People here made a good point clean the area and make it neat. That is one thing I can do.

Well Talking we will do this this weekend. We bought a House in March and we are still unpacking.

We will also talk about how her dad laughed at my "Gun/Reloading Room" He started laughing and saying you are crazy and then spent the whole day with my wife while I had to go to work. I think that is part of it because she was ok until they came up here. Also he said I was dumb for investing in the stock market right now.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:49:21 AM EST
There are some basic things about women's behavior that come into play here.

It's true that most women want to feel secure (who doesn't?). Some feel helpless in providing for their own security, some do not. But, when it comes right down to a seriously threatening situation, most women are cognizant of their inability to provide for their own security beyond a certain point.

My wife is a very strong, independent woman. She can handle herself in most business and social situations with great confidence. What she can't handle - at all - is situations that she can't control within the normal framework of society. In other words, she's really good if everybody plays by the rules, she's totally out of her element if and when they don't. She's smart enough to recognized this, though. And although she'll still try to exercise as much control as possible for as long as she can, she knows that beyond a certain point, she's got nothing but bluff to fall back on.

My wife knows that I'm the one who's comfortable in these situations. She also knows that I'm not just good in planning for and executing in disaster situations, but I thrive in them as well. The hurricanes of '04/'05 left no doubt in my wife's mind that this is true. She won't even argue with me about any decisions I make once a potential disaster is imminent .

But, therein lies the rub, as they say. When things are just hunky dory, my wife (like most women, I think), likes to think that she should be consulted - and deferred to even - in decisions regarding planning for disaster events. Nevermind that she does not offer an alternate plan to one that I might have. No, it's an almost unconscious control thing. She's in charge of running the nest. She wants to decide what we need and don't need in our (her) home. It has nothing to do with lack of resources, it's about control. We as men first have to recognize this tendency when we see it. Then we have to learn how to manipulate the situation to accomplish our goals. I do not see this as being devious. It is necessary if we are to be ready when our women hit the limits of their abilities and are ready to relenquish control of their security to us. While they may not realize or acknowledge the planning that it takes to be in the position to provide this security while we're doing it, they surely recognize and understand it when it becomes necessary.

It's the age old battle between emotion and logic. Emotional approaches to disaster planning and execution will get you killed. It requires logic and reason to prepare and execute a plan like this.

BTW: My wife doesn't have a clue as to just how much in the way of food and supplies that I've amassed. But she will realize in the event that we need it, that I did it for her and for us. So, sometimes, the ends do justify the means.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:51:29 AM EST
Thanks everyone for the words of wisdom.

She has never had spam before but I think one night of spam burgers on the grill might be what the doctor ordered.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 7:25:47 AM EST
You also might just put what you would spend on extra food and ammo away. Build up your stash of cash. It's not like I ever see anyone mentioning that you should have some cash on hand. I don't mean in the bank but cash where you can reach it. Remember if there is no power the banks are not going to be open and the ATM's are not going to work.

So allow her to calm down while you build up a stash of cash.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 7:34:14 AM EST
me and my wife used to fight over buying can goods on sale or any bag of beans over 1 lb....

then on day i said, you know what screw it, you can sit by and not do crap but you wont stop me. It was a lil bit of a drag out fight. basically iput my foot down, said i MAKE the majority of the money and I want us to have something....


we still fought about what i was buying but she gave in,slowly..and i was able to put away a few totes of shortterm can goods etc.

well we went through some bad canes here, and my preps paid off. The light bulb in her head started to get brighter. 3 yrs prior when a cane headed our way she refused to stay at home with me, and risked driving out of town with her family 5 hours before the storm hit( they have a herd die together mentailty for some reason) and got stuck 60 miles away with an over heated truck and clogged roads...........


then katrina hit...and she was pregnant.. wacthing the news one day she just walked in and said..
" you know,, i dont ever want to be like that.." pointing at the Tv of folks dead on the bridges etc.

after that she was on board. Now it wasnt like she ran out and bought 30k of ammo and 1/4 ton of beans... but she has progressed....alot.
ive come home to 20 lbs of beans once, 20 packs of light sticks 2 fer 1$, all kinds of "deals" she has found, deals that she is HAPPY that SHE found....see where thats going!

See once it got to where i stopped saying "YOU HAVE TO PREP..." and she saw for herself the benifits of something even as small as a battery operated fan..or how much money you save........she started coming around.


YMMV
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 8:40:11 AM EST
Every cloud has a silver lining...

The hurricanes did put the fear of God into them, didn't it protus?
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 8:47:26 AM EST
My wife was like that until hurricane Wilma hit us. Once she saw that because of the preps we had that our family needed nothing during and after that SHTF she stays quiet now.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 9:03:48 AM EST
My wife is constantly belittling my emergency stockpiling preparations. When I try to convince her that it's better to prepare, she always replies "if everything goes to hell, all I need is one gun and one bullet for myself". When I tried to build up an emergency supply of water, she and her kids (my stepchildren) drank it all up "because it was there". Ever since then, I continue to stockpile, but I keep it all hidden until the need will arise to use them. A hell of a way to live, but that's the way it is....
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 9:17:33 AM EST
The other problem I had before Y2K was her telling people what I was doing.

So that's another reason I don't involve her anymore, when needed she will benefit and I won't have people knocking on or kicking down my door asking where is your stuff, I want it.

If she's not on board with what you are doing, it's the lose lips sinks ships, problem.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 9:59:33 AM EST
The only time my wife has been really bad was:

1. Right before we had our first kid.
2. When I was spending a lot of our $ on guns/ammo.

Both times she was being reasonable, and I was being stubborn.
1: We live in a small 2 bed apartment. Our 2nd bedroom was our storage room. I had a bunch of ammo, food storage, my office, all of the camping stuff etc in there. When it came time to turn it into the babies room, we found that we had too much stuff (or so we thought). I remember her getting very mad/sad/hormonal about the whole situation. Blaming me for buying "all that stupid crap that we'll never need". I spent that night and the next day making a scale blueprint of the entire apartment and all of the furniture, storage shelves, rubber maid containers. EVERYTHING, and figured out how to hide almost all of it, and give my wife, and kid, a nursery that didn't have anything but baby stuff in it (except for part of the closet). Having it out of sight really, REALLY helped.

2: I had just spent a few hundred dollars on my 2nd gun and some ammo when we hit some financial problems. Nothing serious, but we had to use a credit card for something (I can't even remember now). Basically I got blamed for it because I was spending $ on a hobby that we didn't have a bunch of money for. I tried to explain that arfcom made me do it, but that didn't help. So, I started selling plasma, and doing other odd jobs like selling candy and soda at work to make extra cash just for me that wasn't part of the monthly budget. Since then, I've bought 2 handguns, 1 rifle, a gun safe, a bunch of ammo, and a sewing machine all with cash that doesn't come out of the budget. It still bugs her a bit (that's why I bought her a sewing machine), but she doesn't say anything about it because she knows that it's my fun money that I've taken the time outside of my 9-5 job to make for my hobby.

I'm lucky in that because of our faith we're expected to have years worth of food storage, so other than the examples above, it's really never been a huge issue, once I got her out of the "Mom/Dad/somebody will take care of us if anything bad happens.".

Good luck, and I like the idea of working on a cash stash for a while while it kindof blows over.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 10:01:58 AM EST

she always replies "if everything goes to hell, all I need is one gun and one bullet for myself"


...
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 10:03:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By ffhounddog:
My wife is getting scared of all the extra food we have and I guess getting 3 bags of dogfood instead of one two days ago made her talk to me. I have stocked up a little a few cases of Can foods, Rice, Beans, (spam still trying to get the wife to try spam and eggs hmmm) and I guess the 5 new pales that showed up yesterday too got to her as well.

So what can I do?

I am fine on the ammo side except 22lr but the food side what can I do.


Start stocking up on beer and hookers for awhile. Makes good trade items after a SHTF event!

Seriously, as far as food goes, discuss the price increases in groceries in the last few months. There was an economists with an article in the Wall Street Journal awhile back who quoted the national returns on Money Market accounts vs. the increase in groceries. He was advising his clients to go shopping at their local grocery!.

By buying food you will eat anyway, you are actually saving money.

Same logic might work on ammunition.

If not, ask her if she would prefer you stocking up on the beer and hookers...
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 10:06:22 AM EST
I used to do side work for fun money... guns and camping stuff and would put half into the bank and half into my fun stuff..... wife has no problem with that. And she is fully on board with food preps. The generator and extra gas she takes in stride.... I knew I had it good the first time she came home from grocery shopping with a dozen 1 lb propane cylinders because they were on sale- buy one get one free-, she said they always come in handy!
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 10:18:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By freemanesq:
Is the issue the money or does she think you're nuts? I ask this seriously, because we went through both of those phases before we got to the point where we are now. My wife reminds me we need to pick up another 40 pounds of rice because we opened one small bag.

R.



This is the problem I have.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 10:20:21 AM EST
I just got done talking with my wife on the phone she is heading home from work and she said you have bought 4 guns in 2 months.

I said do you have anything else to add. She goes no.

I told her I thought you were pregnent so I bought alot of gun/reloading stuff because I will not have the money for it again. (or at least until I have to save a small amount for myself that does not go to the new kid/kids)

Link Posted: 6/5/2008 11:33:27 AM EST
This was posted in another thread, but it is worth posting in this thread as well.

www.frugalsquirrels.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=044387;p=0
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 11:34:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By ffhounddog:
I just got done talking with my wife on the phone she is heading home from work and she said you have bought 4 guns in 2 months.

I said do you have anything else to add. She goes no.

I told her I thought you were pregnent so I bought alot of gun/reloading stuff because I will not have the money for it again. (or at least until I have to save a small amount for myself that does not go to the new kid/kids)



I think I may have found part of your problem. You thought your wife was pregnant so you spent a bunch of money on what she considers only for your and your hobby. If you guys are trying to get pregnant etc, she's in a nesting stage, which means that everything needs to be geared towards getting ready for the kid. Any $ problems are 1000000X's more serious, and space issues are just as bad. She's seeing all this money and space being lost for you, and only you. If you guys are trying for a kid (ours was an opps, but a cute one ), get all the storage out of sight. Make sure there is one room in the house that is empty and ready, so that she feels that you're helping nest, and that you care. Get another way to make "play" money so that $ isn't an issue. Selling plasma really has worked well for me, the extra $240 a month is plenty for what I need. Try to sell the preparedness idea as a way to ensure that her and the future kids will be taken care of, and leave it at that. Don't force the doom and gloom stuff on her, chances are she sees enough of it. When I stopped coming home and and always telling my wife about the horrible stuff that's going on around the world, and how guns and preps could have helped, things got much better, and now, she tells ME about the news stories when I get home. Complete 180.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 2:48:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffhounddog:
My wife is getting scared of all the extra food we have and I guess getting 3 bags of dogfood instead of one two days ago made her talk to me. I have stocked up a little a few cases of Can foods, Rice, Beans, (spam still trying to get the wife to try spam and eggs hmmm) and I guess the 5 new pales that showed up yesterday too got to her as well.

So what can I do?

I am fine on the ammo side except 22lr but the food side what can I do.


Turn off all the noise around you, look her straight in the eye and ask her: "When the shit hits the fan, are you going to feed and protect us" or is what we are putting away now going to feed and protect us?"
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 2:55:14 PM EST
The pimp hand does not stay strong all by itself.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:24:44 PM EST
My wife had no idea the amount of food I have stashed away until yesterday. She knows that we have freezed dried food and some canned goods but it was down in the basement. Well yesterday a storm came rolling in while I was at work and it was reported a tornado was in the area so she and the kids and her mother saw exactly how much there was down there. So today she asked me how is it you manage to stash 40 cases of freeze dried food but I can't find any D batteries? Oops my bad they're in my craft room. Good thing she's never been in my craft room or she'd ban me from this site. Every time she gripes about me buying something I remind her it's my job to provide the money, food, and security for our family, kind of like right now where the house generator has been running since about 2000 last night.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 4:56:13 PM EST
Sounds like you two are having trouble communicating with each other.

The best advice I've seen on this was, when they bring up something, just shake your head and agree it's stupid of you, and that you love her and appreciate her putting up with your nonsense.

That's not the same thing as saying "I'll stop", but it's a far cry from trying to scare her or intimidate her.

Mature, loving, couples shouldn't fight over nonsense like this. The woman shouldn't let it get to her, and the man should behave responsibly, financially and otherwise, and both should accept one another and trust one another.

And, how stupid are you to make four major purchases (firearms or whatever) for yourself, and not get her anything?



You're a couple. When you get a toy, she gets a toy. When she suffers, you suffer.

Work on this stuff, it's more important than having a generator.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:10:45 PM EST
one night i felt the need to lock the bedroom door,this is not something we regularly do.Dont ask me why but i felt the need,my girlfriend saw this and asked why i did it.Itold her i dont know i just need to,this is when i discovered that there was a scared little girl hiding in her.there were a few clues prior to this but nothing concrete,however that night we had a 20 min conversation about why i locked the bedroom door.So now if i have a feeling or am scared of something i keep my mouth shut.As to the preparation side of me starting to come out she told me last night i can do what i want,as long as we dont buy and waste food.i saw in her that scared little girl and knew never to bring it up.I believe she is strong enough to defend herself,i just think she cant think about it,it has to be a reaction not a thought.I think some people want or need to feel safe,some people need to be prepared.She is weird but every monday when we go bust some clay and kill some paper i remember why i dont mind the weirdness.

on the bright side i get to be a survival kook and she doesnt care.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 6:12:39 PM EST
Some times people have to learn the hard way
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 8:02:13 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 8:40:08 PM EST by lumper]
My wife knows that I buy in bulk when items are on sale. She has known this from our dating days, as I made it perfectly clear at that time to her that I was a frugal man. There were no fancy restaurants for our dates, if anything there was a Chinese buffet or a similar place. On most of our dates. she would help her mother cook supper while I visited with her family, and I would have purchased ice cream for her family's evening snack. Purchased in bulk on sale of course (there were 9 children in her family, and usually not money for things like ice cream). For what it is worth, we still choose to live the same way today, and are looking forward to paying for our first house with cash.

If I want a toy (usually classified as an investment such as a tool I will use for work), I buy it, as does she (hers are investments too - such as a sowing machine - she makes all of her and our daughters own dresses). However we choose not to need many extra things.

Food and necessary living items are different. If there is an item on sale that we use on a regular basis, we stock up. Today I was in the grocery store and there were Pork and beans cans 4 for a dollar. I purchased several hundred cans. We are expecting our 5th child, and with 2 adults, and 4 children in our house, we will eat 3 cans a meal. Perhaps twice a week. That is 312 cans needed a year . This years supply of pork and beans cost about $78.00. At the regular price of $.55 a can that would cost me $171.60, over double what the sale price cost. This is one of the two reasons that I store food, the other being able to feed my family during hard times. Perhaps explaining food storage as a cost saving method will change your wife's opinions.

In short, My wife trusts my judgement, and chooses to be happy when I show her numerous cases of pork and beans in the basement. She knows I am looking out for our family's well being. I try to do my part, by not purchasing unnecessary items for myself, and by trying to set an example for my wife and children.

Edited to add: you could google Haiti food riots and see what you find. These are going on right now.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 9:07:40 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/5/2008 9:12:10 PM EST by PUBBOY]
Tell her you need to either stock extra food, or you'll have to eat the children if SHTF.

Then she won't think you're so 'crazy.'


Link Posted: 6/5/2008 9:36:26 PM EST
I have yet to get my wife on board, So I dont tell her. I have my gun room which she has no interest or business being in, which leave me a little space to store food. She has no clue that I have been slowly stocking up on non perishables.
Link Posted: 6/5/2008 11:20:30 PM EST
Well we are "suppose" to get the shopping adds tomarrow and we are going to see what there is to get.

I did have a saving grace last night I bought 4 porterhouses at the store for 4.00 a pound and grilled 2 when I got home. She liked them and asked me why did I have to get the "good meat" then showed her the reciept. I only buy groceries on sale. She buys brands that she uses. That is the difference. Even when her dad was out of work they bought name brand snack foods. My family is bulk this and bulk that because even though my Dad was a pilot there are things that 3 kids need for school lunches or quick dinners when my dad was TDY and my mom did not want to cook. My family lived through 6 Hurricanes and 4 Tornados not alot but one of those was in the Phillipines and seeing what happened first hand in a poorer country stuck with us.

My wife and I talked last night and it was better when I layed out my pre Nov plan along side my food stock plan.

She did not say anything to the 3 cases of Cracked Wheat Ceral and 2 cases of Lima beans I bought from Mountain Brook just she said you are missing a case of Rice. I said yeah I need to make a call. I told her before I orded what I was going to order to see if it was ok. Getting cases of Freeze Dried Food I think she would know.
Link Posted: 6/6/2008 2:04:21 AM EST
five across the eyes should take care of that problem
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