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Link Posted: 4/27/2014 5:38:07 AM EDT
Hell yeah.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 6:24:43 AM EDT
I've been "reading 'tween the lines" all along, bro!

I definitely like where you're going with this. Again, though, despite the fact this story is probably more (pre)fact than fiction.

PM sent, btw.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 6:47:56 AM EDT
I'm hooked..................
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 7:44:08 AM EDT
Since your IM Box is full, I'll just post my message:

Hey bro. As you know, I'm loving the story. You have the gift. That's just a fact!

One thing I thought I'd mention (and forgive me if you've already considered it) is whether (or not) this "Human Rights" Attorney or, even the cartels (Mexican military?), will have access to drone assets - and, if so, how will the boy deal with that. (?)

Not so long ago, if anyone had mentioned techniques for defeating such surveillance, I'd have called him/her out publicly for their foolishness. Now, not so much. Here, in the rolling hills and heavy woods of PA, it's not unthinkable. In the wide open spaces of Texas . . . the importance of ruse, deception and distraction takes on extra special significance, I'd think.

The danger of his comms being monitored is something else to be addressed and your description of his equipment surprised me. Might he surreptitiously use his open comms to set up his enemies - and/or, use digital HAM packets (or satellites) to inform/direct his allies?

Eh. Just a thought I had . . .

Regardless, you've sure got me hooked. I really think you're onto something with the plot and (sadly) its wholly-believable scenario. I just hope that when your story becomes reality (if it hasn't already), there are enough rough & ready men w/guns (and necessary skills & beliefs) to stand in the way of total tyranny! I'm convinced we're about to find out - certainly, in the next few years (although, I suspect it'll be sooner).

Lord knows, I wish I felt otherwise, but I've become pretty cynical and pessimistic these last few years. There comes a time when a man must accept/acknowledge what he'd tried so hard to deny/ignore; the evidence of deceit, conspiracy & corruption finally becoming overwhelming and unavoidable. I've tried to sound the alarm as best I'm able - w/o crossing that fine line (and not seeing boogie-men behind every corner, either!).

Contrarily, your story gives you an opportunity to explore situations and solutions which would never be able to openly discussed on a public forum like arfcom otherwise and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. After all, there's nothing wrong with getting a bit of inspiration from one's entertainment - aye?

Please, keep up the good work! And my sincerest congratulations on what you've achieved thus far. I think your fan-base is about to grow exponentially!
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 7:40:24 PM EDT
My thoughts have (unfortunately) run along similar lines of F11B's post. And the story line is very good, shows how a young man can "ruck up" so to speak, when he seriously needs to. Hope this country has some of his ilk when its needed. Hopefully won't be but I don't have much of that at this point, you know how snowballs are.
 [ Please,,,more]
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 8:48:29 PM EDT
2T2_Crash, 45Pro, DanaHillen, BLG, 11Bravo--thank you sirs.

11Bravo, considerable depth in your post.  Speaking very generally, there are quite a few tech work-arounds for many

issues here, some in the public domain, but almost all available to intelligent people who find physics, and physical

properties, and properties of various waves and particles, interesting.

I will probably be somewhat more reticent on these subjects than some.  A big question about comm/other resources will be answered

very shortly when we see who exactly the Gear family is.   Also consider that as the superstate fails, and it is failing

now and failing in this story, the equipment and personnel required to 'watch' everything also fail.  Just too damned

expensive.   For instance right now we can and are 'storing everything'--but we can't afford to pay/train the analysts

or coders who could make any sense of it.  

On another tangent, a very very close read of all this when it is done might find some errors.  And my reply might be,

sometimes it is not wise to be entirely accurate. My real interest is the 'social engineering,' good and bad,

pro and con, the behavior, then, of good people, and bad people, and most people, who are just 'in between'--

11B your comments .re corruption pretty much nailed it.  That is where we are.  Oddly enough I intend to write

something which has some pretty significant elements of hope.  Optimistic, then, if mostly at the local level.

Because if the superstructure becomes fully corrupt, and is finally seen to be corrupt, it might very well leave

something of a vacuum.  In which case we just become ourselves, for better or worse.  Hopefully for the better.

I am presently studying a field of text to fill out, all those numbers and identifiers, and a credit card I have here,

in order to upgrade my status.  It will get done, but as someone who considers hiding a kind of high art, all

that data makes me cranky.

Link Posted: 4/28/2014 11:41:49 AM EDT
I'm hooked, can't wait to see where this goes.
Link Posted: 4/28/2014 3:53:49 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By beakerello:
I'm hooked, can't wait to see where this goes.
View Quote

Same here
Link Posted: 4/29/2014 10:58:03 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#9]
Thanks for the support, all.  Watching comments closely.  Time is short.

Link Posted: 4/29/2014 6:11:22 PM EDT
Ahh, good grandpa's gettin involved. I'm a G/P so I can just imagine. Proceed, you have my full attention.
Link Posted: 4/29/2014 6:13:45 PM EDT
Great update.
Thank you

Love the mysterious grandfather.
Link Posted: 4/30/2014 6:54:44 AM EDT
Nice.  Woould love to hear more on the backstory on Grandpa.
Link Posted: 4/30/2014 8:54:51 PM EDT
Thanks!!!  Need more please!?!?!?
Link Posted: 5/1/2014 2:49:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#14]
Not a lot of time.  Next update should be 2-3 times this.  Mounger/Procarry/Revover/AH thanks, guys.
Link Posted: 5/1/2014 7:03:00 PM EDT
Hook is set and you're playing me!
Link Posted: 5/2/2014 11:45:41 AM EDT
It's getting real.
Link Posted: 5/2/2014 12:59:13 PM EDT
I do hope we get some back ground on Grandpa. Gettin good.
Link Posted: 5/2/2014 10:00:20 PM EDT
Awesome read so far!! Keep it up!
Link Posted: 5/3/2014 4:01:41 AM EDT
DCBourne you do such a damn good job that you make it damn near impossible to help with any proof reading.
Link Posted: 5/3/2014 7:06:16 AM EDT
All I can say is it's good these chapters/postings have been so short, lest I'd not get a damn thing done around here!  
Link Posted: 5/3/2014 10:04:49 AM EDT
I swear to God I check this thread first thing in the morning, and then 5-6 times during the day.
Link Posted: 5/3/2014 10:26:07 AM EDT
FANTASTIC story! Looking forward to how this plays out and watching with great interest! Keep up the great work you have a gift
Link Posted: 5/3/2014 2:54:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: greyguy] [#23]
I just finished catching up.  Great story so far DCBourone, thanks for posting it.  I look forward to its continuation.
A quick question.  You referenced a man in a truck that was a friend of "The Deputy" from another story that you have written.  Is that story posted on ARFcom as well?

Link Posted: 5/3/2014 6:22:17 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By greyguy:
I just finished catching up.  Great story so far DCBourone, thanks for posting it.  I look forward to it's continuation.  
View Quote

Link Posted: 5/4/2014 3:09:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#25]
Link Posted: 5/4/2014 3:53:53 AM EDT
Maybe Maria will get to carve another notch in her entrenching tool.. Keep up the good work.
Link Posted: 5/4/2014 4:37:27 AM EDT
Every chapter posted ends in an attention gripping cliff hanger.

I noticed three misspellings, but I can't remember em all

At just about the bottom, Gear spelled Gher "Old man Gher" might be intentional though.
Link Posted: 5/4/2014 3:14:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#28]
"Currently", beakerello, cmalone1, thanks guys.

BLG, Grandpa is a giant talent, and will get a lot of play.

2T2Crash, Former11B, DesignatedMarksman, bbohman, greyguy, KOW, much thanks.

Former11B I see your comment below, and all your comments, much thanks, what I can
tell you is that this is
"not easy"--just a shit ton of work, what to put in, take out, very very difficult for me.

Redleg below I hope you see this: 240G/etc. very interesting/useful--in my time we just
called them "MAG/s"--I had no idea the different services now had different designations
for same weapon.

Redleg, MP lady did three tours, all Irq.

Redleg and all/everyone your notes are very much appreciated.
Link Posted: 5/4/2014 5:51:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Currently] [#29]
If it wasn't any good, I'd ignore it ... This is riveting material that keeps me checking it out daily.  

OTOH, I keep restraining the urge to ask you to hurry up ... Keep reminding myself good things take time.  

You seriously may want to consider this for a living if you have the self discipline to maintain writing every day.  

Link Posted: 5/4/2014 7:37:54 PM EDT
Dude . . . what I wouldn't give to have your imagination and way with words!

I could see every image and scene you portrayed in my mind's eye with crystal clarity. It was absolutely sublime.

Except . . . that it didn't go on and on and on!

You know I'll be buying the finished product! I just hope you decide to print some and I can get a signed copy!

Yeah, seriously. It's that good!
Link Posted: 5/4/2014 9:13:29 PM EDT
Love the story.  Couple of points to help.  The Army uses the M240B, not the 240G.  That's the Marines.  Also, did the female MP do two tours, one IRQ and one AFG?  You said the Muj liked to plant IED's against the Hesco's and most folks associate them with AFG rather than IRQ.  

Keep up the good work!
Link Posted: 5/4/2014 10:51:57 PM EDT
Wasn't critiquing the spelling OP, I think I speak for all of us reading that it's actually a pleasure to be able to help by finding things, you are entertaining us with a great tale, and if we can catch the few details it's a small way for us to give back.

You have a talent for putting the image in the reader's head to view while reding along and I hope you get published. Keep up the great writing!
Link Posted: 5/5/2014 8:02:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#33]
2T2, no harm no foul I'm pretty much Oddball/Kelly's Heroes, and I'm only catching positive waves, you dig?

Some wise man here will catch me in a massive error which will need fixing, and I will be grateful.

Redleg, if you see this, go up a few posts .re 240Golf/Hescos/etc.  Good info/advice and thank you.

Link Posted: 5/5/2014 10:21:02 AM EDT
Maybe there is hope for Brian
Link Posted: 5/5/2014 10:57:48 AM EDT
I can't wait to see how Brian develops in this story! I think there is hope for him yet!!
Link Posted: 5/5/2014 4:31:18 PM EDT
Story gets better and better.    Liking Brian and the cop, hoping they play a bigger role in upcoming chapters.  Hope Sylvia gets her just desserts.  Is the other story going to run concurrently with this one?  Liking both.
Link Posted: 5/5/2014 8:29:01 PM EDT
Ms. Velasquez is intriguing. Brian may have just figured out "right from wrong" in the world, and certainly in the scheme of things as they stand now. Ms B----h as I prefer to call her is about to get a " SURPRISE" as they say.(chuckle, chuckle). Press on you've got me. What a movie this would make. Course the lib's in Hollywood would turn this all backwards,I'm sure.
Link Posted: 5/5/2014 9:19:27 PM EDT
Where's the next one?  This is great sh*t, man.  This was the first place I looked at today.
Link Posted: 5/5/2014 9:29:34 PM EDT

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DCBourone:

Greyguy, if you see this, the other story is here:


View Quote

Cool, found it and read it.  I think that alternating chapters, or sections within chapters would work for the characters' stories.  Unless of course you wanted to let their plot lines unfold in two (or more) separate books and then eventually merge them...

Either way another BIG thanks for posting these here for our entertainment.  I am hooked...

Link Posted: 5/6/2014 9:16:07 AM EDT
OP, I should have worded my earlier post a little better.  We had Hesco's in both IRQ and AFG.  I was referring to the MUJ being in IRQ rather than the Hesco's.  Sorry about that.
Link Posted: 5/6/2014 9:42:29 AM EDT
I'm hooked.  Reading between the lines is making my eyes hurt, but I need more.
Link Posted: 5/6/2014 3:52:23 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FIELD_MP:
I'm hooked.  Reading between the lines is making my eyes hurt, but I need more.
View Quote

Me too!

Hell . . . it's been damn near 36 hours since the last chapter!

What's the hold up?  

Link Posted: 5/7/2014 1:07:05 AM EDT
Oh my you tell a great tale!!  Anxiously waiting for the next installment.

Link Posted: 5/7/2014 5:54:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DCBourone] [#44]
45Pro, lot's of hope for Brian.  For Sylvia, hmmm.  Not so much.  CMalone--yep, Brian will make some good choices.  RevolverRO, this story first, the second take place in the same interval of time/pre/during collapse, but is planned as a second book.  BLG, as always, thanks.  kc125--hang in there.  I've got about 1500 pages, 4-7 books planned in this world.  All key characters will continue on, through collapse and, not quite rebuilding.  Call it a negotiated peace.  greyguy, thanks.  redleg, got it, no harm no foul, thanks, and if you don't mind, keep looking.  I will screw up something somewhere.  Field MP, read WAY between the lines.  WAY.  Former11B got it and thanks as always.  Mounger, thanks, dude.


This is a place where we kill dragons, the second sculpture

Brian Distrop couldn't wait to see what happened next.
Link Posted: 5/7/2014 6:44:09 AM EDT

Typo - Picking there way across and through the huge stones. - their

Link Posted: 5/7/2014 8:03:50 AM EDT
This story has me hooked!  Please, when you get around to publishing this consider releasing it to more than just the Kindle.  I like my Nook much better than the Kindle and I would love to read your works there.  I don't care if you have to wait to release it for the Nook, I would still get a copy when it does come out for the Nook.

Until then,...... MOAR!!!!! Please!

Thanks for your hard work.
Link Posted: 5/7/2014 3:44:10 PM EDT
It's extremely fascinating to see you weave Pre-American Templar and Roman history into the story.  I would also suggest that you investigate the first maps (Treaty Maps) that were given to the United States from Mexico pertaining to the Treaty Of Guadalupe Hildalgo.  It would be of importance if you wish to use the true history of the region to investigate the migration of the (Aztec/Mayan) -This is a very loosely used term that I'm implying - I'm saying this due to the connection your using of the 15th century family.

You may also wish to study the Lewis Clark mission and the conspiracy associated with it?
Link Posted: 5/7/2014 10:34:35 PM EDT
It would be worth it to see the look on Sylvia's face the moment she realizes she is screwed.
Link Posted: 5/8/2014 10:25:41 AM EDT

This story is one of the best I've ever read.  I already bought Injured Reserves on Kindle and it was transcendent.

Link Posted: 5/8/2014 11:09:40 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DesignatedMarksman:
This story is one of the best I've ever read.  I already bought Injured Reserves on Kindle and it was transcendent.

View Quote

What's Injured Reserves?

Does the OP already have a book on Amazon for sale?
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