Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will not hear.
The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm fucking bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: " Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft : " I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this.....I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll-out after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
Taxing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"
" The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. " It took us a while to find a new pilot."
A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."
Lufthansa(in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a perfect British accent): " Because you lost the bloody war."
I don't have a liscense to kill, but I do have a learners permit.
Hehehe. Thanks for the jokes, I needed that before I went to work!
Thank you for the humor.......I needed it after just getting off from work.
My two favorites. I almost fell out of my chair reading the "fucking bored" one.