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Posted: 5/2/2004 11:38:22 PM EST


Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will not hear.

The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.



Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

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"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."

"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm fucking bored!"

Ground Traffic Control: " Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

Unknown aircraft : " I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!"

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O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."

United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this.....I've got the little Fokker in sight."

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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll-out after touching down.

San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

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Taxing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"
" The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. " It took us a while to find a new pilot."

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A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."

Lufthansa(in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a perfect British accent): " Because you lost the bloody war."



007


____________________________________________________________________________________
I don't have a liscense to kill, but I do have a learners permit.

Link Posted: 5/3/2004 9:49:18 AM EST

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."

Lufthansa(in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a perfect British accent): " Because you lost the bloody war."



Hehehe. Thanks for the jokes, I needed that before I went to work!
Link Posted: 5/3/2004 6:30:03 PM EST
Thank you for the humor.......I needed it after just getting off from work.
Link Posted: 5/3/2004 7:06:31 PM EST

Originally Posted By 007:


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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm fucking bored!"

Ground Traffic Control: " Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

Unknown aircraft : " I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!"

==================

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."

United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this.....I've got the little Fokker in sight."

==================





My two favorites. I almost fell out of my chair reading the "fucking bored" one.
Link Posted: 5/6/2004 9:22:29 AM EST
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