Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/19/2005 6:18:56 AM EDT
I just wanted to let you all know. I've met some pretty good people here. I don't want you to think ill of me if I'm not around much , for a while, at least. I have been married to the sweetest, most beautiful woman God ever created, for almost 26 years. Last Friday she called me from work to tell me there was a note for me under her pillow. I guess I've not done all that it takes to deserve or keep a prize such as she. The note saod she doesn't love me anymore. She's going to try to work out someplace else to live alone. I know I've been an asshole sometimes, but, I've never hit her or even yelled at her. I was led to believe, by a "friend" that she was messing around a while back. So, dipshit that I am, instead of asking her about it, I just started seeing all the "clues". Well, that led to my being less than charming at times, though I tried a thousand times to talk to her about it. She says she just can't live with my suspicions anymore. I've talked a lot of it out with her over the weekend. It would seem as though it's been dealt with. But, she's still set on her path. Please pray that I can win her back. I can't live without her. And as a bonus, it might lead to one hell of a gun sale. I know, everybody thinks their wife is amazing. But, I KNOW mine is. I just don't know what to do. Isn't this crazy? Biggest trouble of my life, here I am talking to "Max Headroom" about it. I'm on the road till next Saturday, so I'll be incommunicado. Thanks for listening.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 7:04:56 AM EDT
WOW....
I'm speechless. Keep yer chin up. I pray you work it out and win her back. Don't give up!!!
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 7:26:09 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 7:26:31 AM EDT by PCR-00]
Wow, sorry to hear about that Bobbity. As a victim of estranged wife syndrome, I know how hard it can be. You've got my number, gimme a ring.



-Mac
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 7:31:35 AM EDT


Link Posted: 9/19/2005 8:00:20 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 8:21:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 8:23:59 AM EDT by RS_Coyote]
Speaking from experience & my opinion. Give her, her space she will most likely come back. If you hound her she will most likely run. Ask her now if you call a marriage counselor if she will go with you when you get back. Tell her that its for you to help you deal with loosing her (even if its not). Don't try to fix it over the phone everyday. If she's not cheating she misses you as much as you miss her. She is just fed up with your shit right now.

Women don't like puppy dogs just like we don't like floor mats. Don't tell her you will sell all your guns just to try to get her back and don't promise anything. Men most likely will be braking that promise within 3 weeks at least once. What I'm saying is you don't change over night. If you feel the need instead tell her you will try to change but don't know if you can or how, thats what marriage counseling is for. Be honest with her and the counselor and tell them what you want & think not what she wants to hear. Let her do the same.

I know this is the hard line Bob. I say this as a friend & hope the best for you and you wife.

And if your going to sell all your guns call me first.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 9:17:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RS_Coyote:
Speaking from experience & my opinion. Give her, her space she will most likely come back. If you hound her she will most likely run. Ask her now if you call a marriage counselor if she will go with you when you get back. Tell her that its for you to help you deal with loosing her (even if its not). Don't try to fix it over the phone everyday. If she's not cheating she misses you as much as you miss her. She is just fed up with your shit right now.

Women don't like puppy dogs just like we don't like floor mats. Don't tell her you will sell all your guns just to try to get her back and don't promise anything. Men most likely will be braking that promise within 3 weeks at least once. What I'm saying is you don't change over night. If you feel the need instead tell her you will try to change but don't know if you can or how, thats what marriage counseling is for. Be honest with her and the counselor and tell them what you want & think not what she wants to hear. Let her do the same.

I know this is the hard line Bob. I say this as a friend & hope the best for you and you wife.

And if your going to sell all your guns call me first.

A big plus 1. This is good advise
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 9:39:14 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 9:51:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RS_Coyote:
Don't tell her you will sell all your guns just to try to get her back and don't promise anything.



I don't think the selling of guns comment was directed towards giving up the hobby. All too often (especially as seen on AR15.com) the guns become a pawn in the power game of divorce. Just ask GrumpyM4 how that all works out.....

Good luck bobbitybobbity. It sounds like this has taken some time to develop, so don't expect to fix it and make it right overnight. The marriage counselor suggested by RS_Coyote is a great idea.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 10:09:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 12:10:59 PM EDT by R-32]
Im really sorry to hear about what is going on, and I know you will work your way through it...



Keep your chin up, dont do anything stupid, and if you need to just vent, Im used to it, if it will keep youfrom doing anything stupid.


Edited parts out because I dont have to be a asshole 24/7
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 10:52:00 AM EDT
Cassie and I went through a seperation a couple of years ago. We're still together, and more dedicated to each other than ever. I can only hope that it works out as well for you.

I also agree with the idea of a marriage counselor. If you love her that much, do what ever you can to keep her.
Also, a little time to herself can help. Give her time to think and realize what a good man you are.

You'll be in my prayers.

Link Posted: 9/19/2005 11:19:31 AM EDT
Good Luck!!

It takes two to make a marriage work.
Only one to break it up.

It might not be your fault at all!
Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

I'll say a prayer for you.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 11:36:58 AM EDT
Good luck bobbitybobbity. We're pullin for ya!
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 12:08:50 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 1:56:37 PM EDT


Don't know what to say.
We are here for ya.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 2:00:22 PM EDT
Sorry to hear about what's going on.

If you ever want to hang out go for a drink just let me/us know.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 8:47:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gibby:
Sorry to hear about what's going on.

If you ever want to hang out go for a drink just let me/us know.


+1
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 8:59:49 AM EDT
Hang in there. I'm sorry you have to go through such a rough time. I think you've got some good advice above. My advice would be for you to sit down by yourself and make a list for yourself [that only you will ever see] and write the pros and cons of your relationship. Put down your suspicions and concerns and then list what you've put here, what's great about your wife.

If the pros out weigh the cons then you need to forgive and forget. You might never know IF anything ever happened, or not, but if regardless you want to stay together then you must let it all go so when you get back together you can be open up front. The lack of communications was a two way door.

I'll be praying for you. Patty
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 10:37:55 AM EDT
Listen to Patty and RS_Coyote. I'm two months into a similar situation, and the three things you need to do are give her room, be ready to work on both sides of your issues with a counselor, and take care of yourself.

This last one can be the hardest, but it can be the most important. Hold it together, spend as much time as you can with your friends, and talk it out with a counselor, your friends, random people on the internet (howdy!), etc. No matter how this turns out, you're going to go through a lot while you are processing things. When you are pissed off or depressed or whatever, take that step back and remember that your mindset will change in a day or a week, and try to keep things even until then.

Easier said than done, I know. I KNOW.

You are not alone. I've received support from people that have gone through similar ordeals, some of whom I barely knew before things blew up. It helps.

Of course, I'm buying more guns now that it's not subject to my wife's approval, but we all deal with these things in our own way. he
--Mike
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 11:12:16 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 11:38:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Llamas:
Of course, I'm buying more guns now that it's not subject to my wife's approval, but we all deal with these things in our own way.



I bought myself a few items after the divorce that I wouldn't have before:

Fender Strat (I don't play)
Harley Davidson
New Entertainment system
Hot young girlfriend (see: Hippynik)

I'm still pulling for ya bobbity, I hope you guys can work it out. Either way, I'm a recent vet of these things and can be a shoulder to punch on.

-Mac
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 12:47:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PCR-00:

Originally Posted By Llamas:
Of course, I'm buying more guns now that it's not subject to my wife's approval, but we all deal with these things in our own way.



I bought myself a few items after the divorce that I wouldn't have before:

Fender Strat (I don't play)
Harley Davidson
New Entertainment system
Hot young girlfriend (see: Hippynik)

I'm still pulling for ya bobbity, I hope you guys can work it out. Either way, I'm a recent vet of these things and can be a shoulder to punch on.

-Mac



I think I take offense
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 12:54:48 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 1:18:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By OdT:

Originally Posted By Hippynik:

Originally Posted By PCR-00:

Originally Posted By Llamas:
Of course, I'm buying more guns now that it's not subject to my wife's approval, but we all deal with these things in our own way.



I bought myself a few items after the divorce that I wouldn't have before:

Fender Strat (I don't play)
Harley Davidson
New Entertainment system
Hot young girlfriend (see: Hippynik)

I'm still pulling for ya bobbity, I hope you guys can work it out. Either way, I'm a recent vet of these things and can be a shoulder to punch on.

-Mac



I think I take offense




......oh shit



Hippy, you could always dump him and come be the third to phil and me....
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 1:26:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Hippynik:

Originally Posted By PCR-00:

Originally Posted By Llamas:
Of course, I'm buying more guns now that it's not subject to my wife's approval, but we all deal with these things in our own way.



I bought myself a few items after the divorce that I wouldn't have before:

Fender Strat (I don't play)
Harley Davidson
New Entertainment system
Hot young girlfriend (see: Hippynik)

I'm still pulling for ya bobbity, I hope you guys can work it out. Either way, I'm a recent vet of these things and can be a shoulder to punch on.

-Mac



I think I take offense





Sofa is looking comfortable....May have to share the love shack with 1Gr this weekend.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 3:16:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Llamas:
... When you are pissed off or depressed or whatever, take that step back and remember that your mindset will change in a day or a week, and try to keep things even until then. ..
--Mike



Well said, bears repeating.

Hope everything works out bobbity.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 4:43:25 PM EDT
I wish the best for you as it sounds that you still love her so I hope everything works out for you man
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:46:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/25/2005 1:48:57 PM EDT by bobbitybobbity]
Hi, kids. I'm home for the weekend. God, this is icky! I just survived the worst week of my life. I've dropped at least 12 pounds, I've been contacted by local yokels as a "disturbed man", possibly B/E ing a church and had to lock my carry piece in the toolbox of my truck to keep it from being "handy". I just popped in to say hi and thank you all, seriously, for your concerns. I've become acutely aware of how deeply I love her and have vowed to do ANYTHING to keep her. She does mean more to me than anything else. Life just has no meaning without the woman I've given 26 years to. We're starting to talk a bit. Now I have a lot to think about, as well as all those promises to God and her. It's really a bitch not groveling a nd being a pesky puppy. Got a lot to learn here. I'll try to be an adult and consolidate my feces. Wish me well, I may not be around much for a while. Thanks, Coyote, for the prod. See you all soon? Robert
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 2:00:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bobbitybobbity:
Hi, kids. I'm home for the weekend. God, this is icky! I just survived the worst week of my life. I've dropped at least 12 pounds, I've been contacted by local yokels as a "disturbed man", possibly B/E ing a church and had to lock my carry piece in the toolbox of my truck to keep it from being "handy". I just popped in to say hi and thank you all, seriously, for your concerns. I've become acutely aware of how deeply I love her and have vowed to do ANYTHING to keep her. She does mean more to me than anything else. Life just has no meaning without the woman I've given 26 years to. We're starting to talk a bit. Now I have a lot to think about, as well as all those promises to God and her. It's really a bitch not groveling a nd being a pesky puppy. Got a lot to learn here. I'll try to be an adult and consolidate my feces. Wish me well, I may not be around much for a while. Thanks, Coyote, for the prod. See you all soon? Robert



You got my number
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 2:03:03 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 6:42:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/25/2005 6:44:56 PM EDT by Tweak]

Originally Posted By gunchyck:
Hippy, you could always dump him and come be the third to phil and me....



[LTC Frank Slade]WHOOOOYAAAH! [/LTC Frank Slade]

Phil,

This chick, she's....not so bad.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 7:52:24 PM EDT
Sorry to hear the bad news, Bobbity. I hope things work out for the best.
Link Posted: 9/27/2005 6:44:29 PM EDT
I hope this works out for You. Your wife seemed very nice. Good luck and god bless
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:49:30 AM EDT
Well, I'm trying some "local" work to stay around the barn a little more. Sorta making myself available, ya know. We're smoothing out a little being around each other. It's really weird, after 26 years to be so uncomfortable together. (Dammit, I wanta smooch!) Anyway, currently, I feel hopeful, which in itself is a great improvement over last week. Thanks for the help, each of you. Yoti: Yes, she sure is. Tweak: that means "get shit together". Mac: ten four. I know this board is for fun stuff. I apologize for turning it into Days of Our Lives. But, I needed somebody to lean on and knew where to look. Thanks.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:32:58 PM EDT
Be strong brother. Let me know if I can help out.
Archived [ARCHIVED THREAD] - You guys have been great
Page Hometown » Washington
Xtreme
ar15com
laRue
EagleLite
dsa
gemtech
BearCreek
delton
JRH
ZonaTactical
bravocompany
silencerShop
apex
geissele
CA
aeroPrecision
handgunGrips
brownells
samson
Faxxon
alienGearHolsters
jt
blackhills
primaryArms
Top Top