Things you won't hear in Texas......

40. Oh I just couldn't.  Heck, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9.  Checkmate.
8.  She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7.  Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6.  Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5.  I don't have a favorite college team.
4.  Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3.  I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2.  Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'.
1.  Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.

For God's sake woman!! Put your clothes back on.

I just want to be held.

Honey, can I get another rifle?

Dear god look at those beautiful mountains.

But its a dry heat.

Noone really needs a pickup truck.

Surf's up dude.

"Sure, I voted for Gore too."

CMOS

"Shit Jim,
I'm getting tired of drinking beer and watching Full Metal Jacket. You got any Merlo? Ever watched Fried Green Tomatos?""

Naw, I ain't going hunting this weekend. It's too hot.

there really isnt a practical use for 4 wheel drives or atvs

no honey..i dont want to watch football..lets go shopping

no, no beef for me, i'll take a soy burger

are those bugle boy jeans your wearing

thats not a good idea bob, that sounds dangerous

StykUrHedUp,

I like the sig line!!!!!!

thanks NFB youre the first to notice

Wish more of our Northern Brethern would move down here.

Hell No!!!  I've got plenty of ammo!!

"WOW, that was close!!  Good thing he didn't shoot Mike's truck!!"

Honey,

Let's go on and sell the Jeep. Fak, I really like that mini-van.

(Now that's bowl-shit if I ever heard it!!)