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Posted: 1/31/2011 7:53:35 PM EDT
M14/M1A: Clunky, heavy, and overpowered. Essentially a Garand tarted up with a removable magazine, in a half-baked attempt to adapt a 19th century rifle design philosophy to the mid-20th century. Most often named as favorite infantry rifle by people who never had to hump a 10-pound wood-stocked rifle with lots of sharp protrusions and no collapsible anything on a three day exercise, or try to make it through a firefight with the standard battle load of five 20-round magazines.

AK-47: Crude and inaccurate bullet thrower designed by and for illiterate peasants. Chambered in a caliber that manages to cut the ballistics of a proper .30-caliber battle rifle in half without passing on any weight savings to the grunt. Ergonomics only suitable for Russian midgets. Archaic cable trigger spring, crummy sights, no sight radius to speak of, no bolt hold-open device, and a clumsy safety. Favorite infantry rifle of Middle Eastern goat herders, guys named Abdullah, and backwoods militia types who like the fact that it shoots cheap ammo and has ballistics like their familiar .30-30.

H&K G-3/HK-91: Ergonomics of a railroad tie. No bolt release, and a locking system that requires three men and a mule to work the cocking handle. Fluted chamber that mauls brass, and violent bolt motion that dings the brass that didn't get mauled too badly by the chamber. Stamped sheet metal construction, yet just as heavy as a milled steel M14. Safety lever that requires unnaturally long thumbs, and a trigger pull that feels like dragging a piano across a gravel road with your index finger. Favorite infantry rifle of Cold War nostalgics and third world commandos.

M-16/AR-15: Underpowered varmint rifle burdened by a crummy magazine design. Nasty direct-impingement gas system that poops where it eats. High sight line, flimsy alloy-and-plastic construction. Generally favored by range commandos, tactical disciples, military vets who have never fired anything else for comparison, and Brownells addicts who a.) enjoy spending three times the cost on the rifle on bolt-on accouterments, and b.) never have to use their rifle away from a dry, sunny range.

G-36: Flimsy plastic rifle with non-user adjustable fair-weather optics that fog up when a gnat breaks wind in front of them. Magazines that take up twice as much pouch space than others in the same caliber because of the "clever" coupling nubs on the magazine housing. Skeleton folding stock that is about as suitable for butt-stroking as a plastic mess spork. Twice as expensive as other rifles in its class because of the "HK" logo on the receiver. Preferred infantry rifle of SWAT cops, and soldiers whose militaries haven't been in shooting conflicts since the 1940s.

Glock: Butt-ugly plastic shooting appliance with the ergonomics of a caulking gun. Five-pound trigger with no external safety makes it ill-suited for its target market (cops who shoot a hundred rounds a year for qualification). Favored by gangbangers because the product name is short and rhymes with other short, rap-friendly words.

Beretta 92F/M9: Clunky and overweight rip-off of a clunky and overweight German design from the 1930s. Shear-happy locking block, ergonomics that are only suited for linebackers, barely adequate sights that are partially non-replaceable, and low capacity for its size. Favored by Eighties action movie fanatics and John Woo freaks.

1911: Overweight and overly complex piece of late 19th century technology. Low capacity, useless sights in stock form, and a field-stripping procedure that requires three hands. Favored by people who are at the cutting edge of handgun technology and combat shooting...of the 1960s.

H&K P7: Wildly overpriced, heavy for its size, low capacity in most iterations, and blessed with a finish that rusts if you give the gun a moist glance. Gas tube has a tendency to roast the trigger finger after a box or two of ammo at the range. Favored by gun snobs who think that paying twice as much for half the rounds means four times the fighting skill.

SIG Sauer: Top-heavy bricks with the rust resistance of an untreated iron nail at the bottom of a bucket of saltwater. Ergonomically sound, if you have size XXL mitts. Some minor parts made in Germany, so the manufacturer can charge 75% Teutonic Gnome Magic premium. Favored by Jack Bauer fans and wannabe Sky Marshals/Secret Service agents.

S&W Revolvers: Archaic hand weapons from a bygone era, the missing link between flintlocks and autoloaders. Low capacity, and reloading requires a lunch break. Heavy for their capacity, unless you're talking about airweight snubbies, which hurt as much on the giving end as they do on the receiving end. Rare stoppages, but few malfunctions that don't require gunsmith services, which are hard to come by in a gunfight. Favored by crusty old farts who just now got around to trusting newfangled smokeless powder, and Dirty Harry fans with unrealistic ideas about the power of Magnum rounds vs. engine blocks.

SMLE/Enfield: Refinement of a 19th century blackpowder design. Weapon of choice for militaries who either couldn't afford Mausers, or had ideological hangups about Kraut rifles. Rimlock-prone cartridge that only barely classifies as a battle rifle round because of blackpowder derivation and insufficient lock strength of the platform. Favored by Canadians with WWII nostalgia, and people who think that semi-auto rifles are a passing fad.

Browning HP: Fragile frame designed around a popgun round. Near-useless safety in stock form that's only suitable for the thumbs of elementary schoolers. Strangest and most circuitous way to trip a sear ever put into a handgun. Favored by wannabe SAS commandos, wannabe mercenaries, and Anglophiles who think that hammer-down, chamber-empty carry is the most appropriate way to carry a defensive sidearm.

Benelli shotguns: Plastic boutique scatterguns made by people with the martial acumen of dairy cows. Hideously expensive, and therefore popular with police agencies that get their equipment financed by tax dollars.

FN FAL: Long and lightweight receiver that's impossible to scope properly. Overpowered round, twenty-round magazines that run dry in a blink, and an overall weapon length that's only suitable for Napoleonic line infantry, but utterly useless for airborne and armored infantry. Made by Belgians, a nation with a military history that is limited to waving German divisions through at the border. Favored by Falklands veterans, Commonwealth fanboys, and people who think that dial-a-recoil gas systems are the epitome of infantry technology.

9mm Luger: European popgun round that's only popular because the ammo is cheap for a centerfire cartridge. Cheap ammo is a good thing for 9mm aficionados, because anything bigger and more dangerous than a cranky raccoon will likely require multiple well-placed hits. Wildly popular all over the world, mostly in countries where people don't carry guns, and cops don't have to actually shoot people with theirs.

.45ACP: Chunky low-pressure cartridge that hogs magazine space and requires a low-capacity design (if the gun needs to fit human hands) or a grip with the circumference of a two-liter soda bottle (if the gun needs to hold more than seven rounds). Disturbingly prone to bullet setback, expensive to reload, fits only into big and clunky guns, and a recoil that has an inversely proportionate relationship with muzzle energy.

.40S&W: Neutered compromise version of a compromise cartridge. Even more setback-happy than the .45ACP, and setbacks are much more dangerous because of higher pressure and smaller case volume. Manages to sacrifice both the capacity of the 9mm and the bullet diameter of the .45. Twice the recoil of the 9mm for 10% more muzzle energy.

.357SIG: Highly overpriced boutique round that does the .40S&W one worse: it manages to share the capacity penalty of the .40 while retaining the small bullet diameter of the 9mm. Noisy, sharp recoil, and 100% cost penalty for ballistics that can be matched by a good 9mm +P+ load. Penetrates like the dickens, which means that the Air Marshals just had to adopt it...only to load their guns with frangible bullets to make sure they don't penetrate like the dickens.

.38 Special: Legacy design with a case length that's 75% longer than necessary for the mediocre ballistics of the round due to its blackpowder heritage. On the plus side, the case length makes it easy to handle when reloading the gun. This is a good thing because anyone using their .38 in self-defense against a 250-pound attacker hopped up on crack will need to empty the gun multiple times.

.44 Magnum: Overpowered round that generates manageable recoil and muzzle blast...if you're a 300-pound linebacker with wrists like steel girders. Often loaded to "Lite" levels that turn it into a noisy .44 Special while retaining the ego-preserving Magnum headstamp. Considered the "most powerful handgun cartridge in the world" by people whose gun knowledge is either stuck in 1960, or who get their expertise in ballistics from Dirty Harry movies.

10mm Auto: Super-high pressure cartridge that beats up gun and shooter alike. Very brisk recoil in anything other than all-steel S&W boat anchors, with a shot recovery that's measured in geological epochs for most handgun platforms. Often underloaded to wimpy levels (see ".40 S&W"), which then gives it 9mm ballistics while requiring .45ACP magazine real estate.

.357 Magnum: Lots of recoil, muzzle blast, and noise to drive a 9mm bullet to reckless speeds in an attempt to make up for its low mass and diameter. Explosive fragmentation and insufficient penetration with light bullets; excessive penetration and insufficient expansion with heavy ones. Still makes only 9mm holes in the target.

If anyone feels left out let me know.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 7:57:10 PM EDT
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 7:57:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2011 8:00:27 PM EDT by badkarmaiii]
11/10!
Where did you find this?

ETA: He/she forgot MSARs or any other bullpups. I wonder what the author does like. The rant is funny enough that I'd buy them a beer just to discuss it and hear more.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 7:57:50 PM EDT
*poke*poke* hehehe....
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:03:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:08:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
11/10!
Where did you find this?

ETA: He/she forgot MSARs or any other bullpups. I wonder what the author does like. The rant is funny enough that I'd buy them a beer just to discuss it and hear more.

Stolen from the webs.

MSAR, really? What do you think this is, a Sci Fi movie? Do you think it really goes "pew pew pew" just because that is the sound it makes while you shoot it? Oh, I am bashing the owner, not the gun... Ok, bad ergonomics, easy to bash since a lefty picking it up will eat brass and eventually wont have a smile left. How about accesories and mods? Sure, just an arm and a leg. Niche gun for niche people.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:08:36 PM EDT
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there


M&P: Crappy trigger out-of-box that tries to pass for DAO despite actually being SAO. Stock sights suck. Much harder to completely disassemble compared to Gaston's abortion that lived. Unnecessary hinged trigger, "takedown tool" gets loose like a barfly if you actually use it. Melonite makes stainless rust-prone and it's endorsed by those two #$%#$% from Magpul. Needs custom parts or work to make anyone with half-a-brain happy with it. Over-hyped.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:08:41 PM EDT


Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:09:48 PM EDT
LOL well what about the Makarov with its 9x18 round?
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:10:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.


Well-done, sir!
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:12:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:14:31 PM EDT
You can see it coming from outer space.
Originally Posted By Friiguy:


I felt the KB! from here.


Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:15:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.


Well-done, sir!

Combine yours and mine and its the perfect M&P hate.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:15:30 PM EDT


I applaud the use of the "art case" version of the Flambeau pistol cases! I had the same idea from seeing them used by my art-major best friend...
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:17:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By vbfg135:
You can see it coming from outer space.
Originally Posted By Friiguy:


I felt the KB! from here.



I like how you and your Glocks felt singled out.

I expect the hurt feelings report to be completely filled out, signed by you, and on my desk by 8 am. Should give you plenty of time to let it dry out from the tears.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:18:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.


Well-done, sir!

Combine yours and mine and its the perfect M&P hate.


Yeah, but I'm special because I made the first "weakness" on your list. Note to NMWTF: If I'm enthusiastic about a product, steer clear!
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:21:42 PM EDT
whatever...M&Ps suck ass and Glocks rock! When will you admit that? Besides...my Glock looks cool and makes me feel all Gangsta !!















*poke*poke*....stir the pot....hehehe....this is too easy
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:22:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.


Well-done, sir!

Combine yours and mine and its the perfect M&P hate.


Yeah, but I'm special because I made the first "weakness" on your list. Note to NMWTF: If I'm enthusiastic about a product, steer clear!

Easy target or fun to give you hell over? You pick.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:23:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
whatever...M&Ps suck ass and Glocks rock! When will you admit that? Besides...my Glock looks cool and makes me feel all Gangsta !!

*poke*poke*....stir the pot....hehehe....this is too easy

Can you Glock fags explain why you felt singled out amongst that entire list of hate?


Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:24:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By vbfg135:
You can see it coming from outer space.
Originally Posted By Friiguy:


I felt the KB! from here.



I like how you and your Glocks felt singled out.

I expect the hurt feelings report to be completely filled out, signed by you, and on my desk by 8 am. Should give you plenty of time to let it dry out from the tears.

Glock
9mm
40
10 mm
then i can do
FNFAL
M1A
ak
ar15 X3
S&W Revolver
38spl
Benelli
357 MaG

Shit i will just drive over and deliver it now.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:27:02 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.


Well-done, sir!

Combine yours and mine and its the perfect M&P hate.


Yeah, but I'm special because I made the first "weakness" on your list. Note to NMWTF: If I'm enthusiastic about a product, steer clear!

Easy target or fun to give you hell over? You pick.


Either one! It's fun both ways...
Don't take that out of context you sickos!
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:27:15 PM EDT
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!

hehehe
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:29:00 PM EDT
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:29:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2011 8:29:43 PM EDT by Friiguy]
All 3 4 of the above posts,

Thank you gentlemen, have a nice night.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:30:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Friiguy:
All 3 4 of the above posts,

Thank you gentlemen, have a nice night.


You too, twisted one.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:30:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2011 8:31:18 PM EDT by locknloadNM]
Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.


Look in the upper middle...there is a cool ass Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!

Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:31:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.


Look in the upper middle...there is a cool as Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!



Now I see it. Turned the monitor brightness up to "eye bleach" level and it appeared.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:32:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.


Look in the upper middle...there is a cool ass Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!


Whoosh!

What was that sound?

That was BK3's terrible joke flying right over LNL's head.


Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:35:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.


Look in the upper middle...there is a cool ass Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!


Whoosh!

What was that sound?

That was BK3's terrible joke flying right over LNL's head.




What you did there with the double entendre, I see it. Still needed the extra brightness though...
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:36:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Friiguy:

Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Originally Posted By locknloadNM:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.


Look in the upper middle...there is a cool ass Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!


Whoosh!

What was that sound?

That was BK3's terrible joke flying right over LNL's head.





Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:38:01 PM EDT
Damn, wasn't trying to be funny! Blind hog, acorns and all that shit...
Not everyone was born a f'ing comedian like Fried Guy...
Link Posted: 2/1/2011 5:12:49 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2011 5:13:15 AM EDT by LynC2]
Originally Posted By badkarmaiii:
Damn, wasn't trying to be funny! Blind hog, acorns and all that shit...
Not everyone was born a f'ing comedian like Fried Guy...


Yup, that managed to gore just about everyone's ox! LOL
Link Posted: 2/1/2011 6:45:24 AM EDT
You forgot Galil and the new kel-tec shotgun!!!!! ya, ya, do those next!!!!!! This thread is freakin hilarious!!!!!
Link Posted: 2/1/2011 4:34:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By benw8887:
You forgot Galil and the new kel-tec shotgun!!!!! ya, ya, do those next!!!!!! This thread is freakin hilarious!!!!!

Galil - A wannabe AK. Bad ergonomics, short sight radius, and a trigger patterned off an obsolete rifle like an M1 Garand makes the whole thing pointless. Short and sweet, much like the time a Galil would spend in my safe.

Keltec KSG - All hype. Working prototype will never make production. If somehow it does, just remember who made it, Keltec. Plastic. Cheap. That should say it all.
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