The devil wanted a place on earth
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Oklahoma
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake
With its forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Oklahoma is hotter than Hell."
anon