Old Bud is wanting to go home from the nursing home. If he goes, he'll die if he falls. He can't haul in wood to heat the house, has a tough time walking without a walker, but still wants to go back to his home. He is more worried about the welfare of "Trigger" his dog, than his own welfare.
He is 103, be a 104 next month. He isn't the oldest there. There is one woman that just turned 104 and doesn't have all her mental facilities in tact. She sees someone, she hollers, "help me" over and over again. If you ignore her, which most do, she starts saying "f*ck you" over and over.
It's not that I don't blame Old Bud for wanting to go home or being that hard headed, but the nursing home has to be depressing as hell. He did threaten to get up and whip my ass this afternoon after I asked him if he was ready for me to thump him!
He's still is as sharp as a tack, meaner than a rattlensnake, but just ain't as tough as he once was.
I'm thinking if we can get him to stay in the nursing home, he'll either die in a month or so, or live another 10 years. It all depends on his attitude. Being alone for him is depressing, being in the nursing home is also depressing. Looks kind of bleak, anyway you look at it.
I really don't know whether to support him in letting him go home to die, probably alone, or make him stick it out to have an easier passing, with people around.
I've been through this before but with a father dying from cancer. He had a DNR but we kept him on oxygen. He would have ripped the oxygen off if we had let him. We didn't prolong his life, we just made his passing less painful.
Bud's passing shouldn't be painful if we're lucky. I'm more afraid of him dying alone than living longer with less dignity. And I think he is too.
I guess this is the question - better to die in less dignity in a nursing home but with company around or die (maybe painfully!) alone at home with more dignity?