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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 2/2/2006 8:08:11 AM EST
[Last Edit: 2/2/2006 8:09:17 AM EST by WRF]


· The easiest way to find something lost
around the house is to buy a replacement.

· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
alive anyway.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the
quick and the dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.

· The only difference between a rut and a
grave is the depth.

· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really
good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you see one tumble down the stairs.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid
someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· Have you noticed since everyone has a
camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs
like they used to?

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing

· All of us could take a lesson from the
weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.

· How is it one careless match can start a
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a

· Who was the first person to look at a cow
and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things
here, and drink whatever comes out?"

· Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes
outta its butt."

· Why is there a light in the fridge and not
in the freezer?

· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why
is there a song about him?

· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you
get undressed if they are going to look up there

· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of
Alphabet Soup?

· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him
on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

· Does pushing the elevator button more than
once make it arrive faster?

· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the

· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your
email address?

Yes it did!
Link Posted: 2/2/2006 9:59:05 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/2/2006 10:03:38 AM EST

Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER:

No biggie ! you only get excited when throwing gas on a fire
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