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Posted: 12/25/2011 6:14:15 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/31/2011 11:44:55 AM EDT by FMWright]
Ok folks, I don't usually do this but I need some advice.

Background: My 24 year old daughter is getting divorced, and moved back in with the wife and I. Recently she got "involved" with someone that I warned her not to go near. Gang banger, 4 kids by 3 different mothers, arrest warrants, gang tat's on the neck, etc.

Problem: She wised up and broke it off with him but he refuses to take no for an answer. Tells her "She belonges to him".Constantly harassing and threatening her via text messages. Phone number has been changed twice, he keeps finding out what the number is. (phone number issue has been resolved)

She has gone to the Elgin PD and basically been told '....too bad, we can't help until he does something...'. I find that hard to believe in this day and age.

I am looking for advice here, not a recommendation that I strap up and hunt him down.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:00:19 PM EDT
Unless you know a LEO personally that will have a "talk" with him, your only option is to take care of business yourself. As a father of a 19 yo daughter & having friends in several different agencies, I would still take care of it myself. The gang banger doesn't give a fuck about what any LEO will tell him, you can make a much better impression yourself if you do it right.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:15:13 PM EDT
As a starting point, she needs to make it absolutely clear that she does not want to be involved with him if she hasn't already. Then have her keep a journal recording every time he has had contact with her and what was the was said/done. This will build your case that he is harassing her.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 10:16:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DKnight124:
As a starting point, she needs to make it absolutely clear that she does not want to be involved with him if she hasn't already. Then have her keep a journal recording every time he has had contact with her and what was the was said/done. This will build your case that he is harassing her.


This. Plus, have her take the journal to Elgin PD and request a report for harrassment. She can take that report to State's Attorney's office and request an order of protection. IF a judge grants her an OP, whenever the shit head contacts her again, he will be locked up. Don't expect any great amount of jail time since the system has been flooded by girls that get an OP then decide to go back to their shit head b/f's. I know it is not your daughter's case, so the more organized she has her facts, the better it will look for her. She does need to call the PD every single time that this retard violates the OP, judges also hate when their orders are not followed.

Also, if he has prior convictions of any domestic violence, it will help on your daughter's case.

Good luck and IM me with any questions.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 10:48:00 PM EDT
IM SENT
Link Posted: 12/26/2011 1:21:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/26/2011 1:22:03 AM EDT by jgeiken]
Link Posted: 12/26/2011 7:15:47 PM EDT
Call the courthouse and see if they have a legal aid service. My home county has one, and one of the things they do is help women fill out the paperwork to get an order of protection. If you can get that in place the police are going deal with the problem if he violates the order.
Link Posted: 12/26/2011 8:02:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/26/2011 8:03:53 PM EDT by EmpWolf]
Restraining order that has included no contact via text messages or phone calls. After that, pretty much all she can do is move on and hope he trips up and violates the restraining order. Have her video tape any encounters and have a voice recorder handy for any phone calls (obviously, she needs him to be on speaker phone). She needs to start the process now, so long as she has the text messages they will be enough to file.

Just keep an eye on her, and I would strongly suggest CCWing inside your house when home just in case. Gang members have been pretty brazen lately in Elgin.
Link Posted: 12/28/2011 5:50:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By EmpWolf:
Restraining order that has included no contact via text messages or phone calls. After that, pretty much all she can do is move on and hope he trips up and violates the restraining order. Have her video tape any encounters and have a voice recorder handy for any phone calls (obviously, she needs him to be on speaker phone). She needs to start the process now, so long as she has the text messages they will be enough to file.

Just keep an eye on her, and I would strongly suggest CCWing inside your house when home just in case. Gang members have been pretty brazen lately in Elgin.


It is generally illegal in Illinois to record someone's voice without their permission. It is actually a felony. Probably not the best thing for amatuer lawyers to be suggesting over the Internet. There is an exception, but I don't know that this case would actually fit the exception, being as an OP is a civil and not a criminal matter.
Link Posted: 12/28/2011 8:21:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/28/2011 8:27:01 PM EDT by EmpWolf]
Originally Posted By ilbob:
Originally Posted By EmpWolf:
Restraining order that has included no contact via text messages or phone calls. After that, pretty much all she can do is move on and hope he trips up and violates the restraining order. Have her video tape any encounters and have a voice recorder handy for any phone calls (obviously, she needs him to be on speaker phone). She needs to start the process now, so long as she has the text messages they will be enough to file.

Just keep an eye on her, and I would strongly suggest CCWing inside your house when home just in case. Gang members have been pretty brazen lately in Elgin.


It is generally illegal in Illinois to record someone's voice without their permission. It is actually a felony. Probably not the best thing for amatuer lawyers to be suggesting over the Internet. There is an exception, but I don't know that this case would actually fit the exception, being as an OP is a civil and not a criminal matter.


Beginning of convo: "This call is being recorded." If they don't agree, hang up and let them text message.

You can video tape in public, just not in bathrooms, tanning salons, locker rooms, changing rooms, or hotel bedrooms.
Link Posted: 12/28/2011 8:29:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/28/2011 8:30:55 PM EDT by ilbob]
Originally Posted By EmpWolf:
Originally Posted By ilbob:
Originally Posted By EmpWolf:
Restraining order that has included no contact via text messages or phone calls. After that, pretty much all she can do is move on and hope he trips up and violates the restraining order. Have her video tape any encounters and have a voice recorder handy for any phone calls (obviously, she needs him to be on speaker phone). She needs to start the process now, so long as she has the text messages they will be enough to file.

Just keep an eye on her, and I would strongly suggest CCWing inside your house when home just in case. Gang members have been pretty brazen lately in Elgin.


It is generally illegal in Illinois to record someone's voice without their permission. It is actually a felony. Probably not the best thing for amatuer lawyers to be suggesting over the Internet. There is an exception, but I don't know that this case would actually fit the exception, being as an OP is a civil and not a criminal matter.


Beginning of convo: "This call is being recorded."

You can video tape in public, just not in bathrooms, tanning salons, locker rooms, changing rooms, or hotel bedrooms.


You can videotape someone in public as long as you are not recording their voice. The voice recording is what is illegal, not the video. So if you turn off the microphone on the video camera, it is not illegal w/o permission.

The law uses the phrase "with the consent of all of the parties to such conversation". It does not say anything about making an announcement at the beggining of the call being recorded.

It also says this "Eavesdropping, for a first offense, is a Class 4 felony".
Link Posted: 12/29/2011 5:07:57 AM EDT
UPDATE:
As of 2 days ago shithead has been put in his place and on notice that I will shoot on sight if he so much as sets foot in my home.
Have not heard anything from him since. Doors are always locked and yes, I ALWAYS have a weapon with in reach.

Thanks for all the advice, Happy Friggin New Year!!

FM
Link Posted: 12/29/2011 7:32:37 AM EDT
Semper Fi, and well done Sir.
Link Posted: 12/29/2011 9:55:47 AM EDT
civil order of protection. I'm not 100% sure if the court still issues them. you don't need a police report. Something to check into
Link Posted: 12/29/2011 10:52:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By WildChild6:
civil order of protection. I'm not 100% sure if the court still issues them. you don't need a police report. Something to check into


They still do lol. My sister in law just had one filed against my brother. Prevents him from speaking to her in any negative manner in person, voice, or text at her.
Link Posted: 12/29/2011 11:56:38 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FMWright:
UPDATE:
As of 2 days ago shithead has been put in his place and on notice that I will shoot on sight if he so much as sets foot in my home.
Have not heard anything from him since. Doors are always locked and yes, I ALWAYS have a weapon with in reach.

Thanks for all the advice, Happy Friggin New Year!!

FM


Key to any of this is proper documentation. Tell her to keep record of any phone call, text, personal contact....anything. Bring it straight to Elgin PD and demand a harrassment report/arrest. If that does'nt work PM me. I have a few friends there that will take it.
Link Posted: 12/29/2011 2:54:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/29/2011 2:58:49 PM EDT by air2ground]
"Shoot on sight" ....hmmm. I would be careful saying that. Can someone tell if that constitutes premeditation? Remember, this is Illinois, not Texas.

Link Posted: 12/29/2011 4:31:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/29/2011 4:31:59 PM EDT by jgeiken]
Originally Posted By air2ground:
"Shoot on sight" ....hmmm. I would be careful saying that. Can someone tell if that constitutes premeditation? Remember, this is Illinois, not Texas.



I would delete that if I were you and you have a notion to follow through with your promise. *cough* premeditation *cough*

Oh and in before the "I just shot my daughters ex" thread. just kidding
Link Posted: 12/30/2011 7:34:53 AM EDT
LEO here she can get a stalking/no contact order. Make a report and go speak with the State's Attorney.
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 11:44:02 AM EDT
Ok, shitbag back.

Officer at the desk at the Elgin PD told her today again "we cant help, and will not take a report on it." and refused to pass her on to anyone else.

Any of you guys in the EPD feel free to hit me up by email fmwright@ar15.com and I will fill in the blanks.
Give me your number and we can set up a time for you to come to the house and we can discuss.

Did I mention her leg is bruised from the hip to the knee? She tells me he did that to.

FM
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 11:51:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/31/2011 12:04:32 PM EDT by jgeiken]
Why has she not filed for an order of protection yet???? Can you please answer this? The police do not do OP's that happens at the courthouse. If she is a victim of domestic abuse Elgin PD needs to be taking reports.

If the desk officer is unwilling to help go over his head. Get a hold of a DV Detective or Patrol Supervisor. What is the reason they are giving for refusing to take reports? Also try going straight to the States Attorneys office for help. They should have victims advocates who can help.

<––- LEO (not Elgin)
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 12:54:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By jgeiken:
Why has she not filed for an order of protection yet???? Can you please answer this? The police do not do OP's that happens at the courthouse. If she is a victim of domestic abuse Elgin PD needs to be taking reports.

If the desk officer is unwilling to help go over his head. Get a hold of a DV Detective or Patrol Supervisor. What is the reason they are giving for refusing to take reports? Also try going straight to the States Attorneys office for help. They should have victims advocates who can help.

<––- LEO (not Elgin)


Actually started it online today, Thanks for the link, I overlooked it earlier. She is documenting all the phone calls and text messages now so we can finish the petition.
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 1:11:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/31/2011 1:11:59 PM EDT by Dawg180]
Originally Posted By FMWright:
Ok, shitbag back.

Officer at the desk at the Elgin PD told her today again "we cant help, and will not take a report on it." and refused to pass her on to anyone else.

Any of you guys in the EPD feel free to hit me up by email fmwright@ar15.com and I will fill in the blanks.
Give me your number and we can set up a time for you to come to the house and we can discuss.

Did I mention her leg is bruised from the hip to the knee? She tells me he did that to.

FM


Call your Illinois Congressman and Senator, tell them your daughter is being harassed and has even been physically assaulted, that she is getting threats in phone calls and text and that the Elgin PD refuse to do anything about it or get involved even though they have been asked several times to intervene.

Your reps should be able to put a lot of pressure on them.
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 2:24:14 PM EDT
IM SENT
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 7:33:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/31/2011 7:52:25 PM EDT by Tango7]
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 7:53:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/31/2011 8:01:37 PM EDT by air2ground]
Try going directly to the State's Attorney with your evidence. Persistance usually pays off. Also document your efforts contacting the police, state's attorney, etc and lack of response or positive responses. People who are elected to office get nervous when faced with documentation.
Link Posted: 12/31/2011 8:49:18 PM EDT
Quite the BS by EPD if thats the case. Two choices.....go directly to a supervisor with all of your documentation, and then head straight to the SA's office if that doesnt work. PM if more details are needed.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 6:13:29 PM EDT
Test
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 6:23:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 6:27:28 PM EDT by pbrsailor]
Move your daughter out of state and have her live with a relative you trust. Destroy any old credit cards and cell phones she owns and get her new ones in the new area where she will reside. If she communicates with Mr. Problem you know you are wasting your time. If you move her quietly out of state and she avoids contact, she will be in a place where she cannot be harmed. There is only so much that can be done by people who are bound to operate within the confines of the law. If you take her out of the equation and you have a problem with her ex-boyfriend, the police and State's Attorney will be more likely to take corrective action.

That may not be the answer you wanted to hear, but it is a viable solution to the problem.
Link Posted: 1/7/2012 6:53:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/7/2012 7:05:42 AM EDT by Sdsquad1]
Been getting the run around AH ? Take care of it in speacial way I'm sure you have a way of getting the message across and its no ones business but your own family .The less said the better. No more post and drop the subject.

Edit :Im not suggesting you take the law into your own hands stay within the boundries.

Your too nice of a guy.
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