My girilfriend of 2.5 years and I have parted ways.. I am now taking applications for a wife from families who can afford the dowry.

Ropes

Get in line, there are a lot here in front of you.
LT and Bung are next up for any future available daughters.
Better go stock up on some socks.

Line? Hell I make enough I can always go to HH and rent a date.

I just found out about a HH over here in Richardson.
It was right under our nose and didn't even know.
Sorry about your break up.

While you are waiting in line, I hear there is a "massage parlor" near 75 & Arapaho... hehe

My marriage of 26 years is ending because I haven't been emotionally supportive.  While you may be bummed about the end of your long-termer now, you just may have saved yourself a lifetime of grief.

Buddy, take my word, unless both of your arms are broken, being single is the best course.

Quoted: My girilfriend of 2.5 years and I have parted ways.. I am now taking applications for a wife from families who can afford the dowry. Ropes

Rule One: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are idiots. Still, I want to be fair. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants 10 sizes to big, and I will not object. However, to ensure that your pants do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter I will take my nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place at your waist.

Rule Two: I'm sure that you have been told that in today's world sex without a barrier can be deadly. Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier and I will kill you.

Rule Three: I have no doubt that you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my daughter, you will continue to date no one but her until she is through with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Four: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not fidget and complain. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup -- a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there why don't you do something useful, like change the oil in my car?

Rule Five: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are sofas, beds or anything softer than a wooden stool or folding chair; places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight; places where there is darkness; places where the ambient temperature would induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka, zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Six: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been, but on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Seven: Be careful, be very careful. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When the flashbacks start, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean my guns as I sit at home waiting for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit your car, with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face in the window is mine.

coz, can i have her # again?



kidding!  lol

I'm in the same boat. Just go to a Baptist church near you...I know it's the wrong reason, but you might find some "nice" girls there who are interested in marriage and family.

Coz that was funny as hell.

Life is actually pretty good, we are still friends, with benifits I hope

And I am in the process of looking at a Ducati 916 which should occupy plenty of my offtime.

Ropes

Make sure that the 916 is a biposto so your new honey can ride with you.

Quoted: I'm in the same boat. Just go to a Baptist church near you...I know it's the wrong reason, but you might find some "nice" girls there who are interested in marriage and family.

not at my church.  seems like there all prepies who dress sluty to attract guys so they can "bring them closer to God."

there all the same,  

CHICKS DIG JERKS!

Damm slutty preppie girls.. what church is that!!

what the hell is HH?

TXL

Quoted: what the hell is HH? TXL

Harry Hines maybe?

Quoted: Damm slutty preppie girls.. what church is that!!

Not saying all of them are. but some/most...


the church i go to.

Quoted: Cool you take the daughters, I'll go for the mother.

JoJo is that you?

ED

If yall need to get rid of any (cute, intelligent, age 15-19) daughters, I'll take em.

Quoted: Coz that was funny as hell.

Yes it was!!  I need to print that & save it.

Coz_45 that's some funny stuff, thanks for posting.

Quoted: Make sure that the 916 is a biposto so your new honey can ride with you.

Not too many people know that Bung!!!
I love all DUCS!!!!!!
well except that monster thing...