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Posted: 10/14/2004 12:39:14 PM EST
After Texas coach Mac Brown passes away and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Mac a little 2-bedroom house with a faded University of Texas banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your home, Coach. Most people don't get their own house up here, " God explains.

Mac looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge 2-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all of the windows. Razorback flags line both sides of the sidewalk with a huge red and white Hog banner hanging between the marble columns.

"Thanks for the home, God, but let me ask you a question. How come I get this little 2-bedroom house with a faded University of Texas banner, and Houston Nutt gets a mansion with new Razorback banners and flags flying all over the place.............why is that? God looks at him seriously for a moment and then replies, "That's not Houston's house, that's mine."
Link Posted: 10/14/2004 12:51:49 PM EST
Another Arkansas joke


Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Paragould, Arkansas who has recently been
diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Jonesboro and one of my
sisters, who lives in Little Rock, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.
They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Memphis. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at in Huntsville, TX for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.
My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Hot Springs, AR. She is a part time "working girl." All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John Kerry for President?


Signed,

Worried About My Reputation In Arkansas

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