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Posted: 1/18/2021 11:28:30 PM EDT
I'm sorry to bug you CA folks, but maybe you've had somebody you know go through something like this before. Sister was killed Friday morning after being struck by a vehicle or two while crossing a dark road. Don't have exact details because nobody will call us back after leaving voicemails. Pretty sure from what we have gathered, it was just a tragic accident. Being a holiday weekend has caused me not to be able to get in touch with local county officials (San Bernardino).

Sister was big into Renaissance fair, and she has a really good friend of hers who was her emergency contact, that has helped out immensely. And we have some other folks here right now at the house who were friends of my sisters, also RenFair, and we currently have a few animal traps (cats) setup inside the house (just caught one while typing this rambling post). The house is really bad, I should have forced my Mom (Passed in Oct 2020) to move to WY with me and the wife instead of letting my sister deal with it after Dad passed early 2000s . We found Dad (Urn) in Mom's room, but no sign of Mom. Called the crematorium that I had Mom done at and got a description of the type of container they used but haven't found anything yet. Maybe she is still in my Sisters car at the police impound.The house is so F'ng cluttered with shit (and literally cat shit), boxes, just stuff.

Sorry, but I'm in tears just thinking about it. Just mentally exhausted thinking about how someone could live in those conditions. I knew the house was cluttered when we visited, but I didn't realize the conditions past the dining room where we would hang out and visit. Straight up real life hoarders episode. Told my wife not to go in there without a mask and gloves, not for covid, but because of the cat situation.

Sister was in the process of whatever Probate entails, trying to get the house in her name since Mom didn't have an updated Will. I was supposed to sign some papers giving her sole entitlement to everything. But nothing ever came. Not sure if I would need to do the same since my sisters death.

Would the county coroner's office know anything about how to handle a situation like this? Maybe an experienced Realtor? Should I look at a lawyer? At this point, with the condition of the inside of the house, I don't want anything to do with it at all. I just want my Mom's Urn, and have my Sister cremated since I'm 99.9% sure she didn't have a Will either. Sorry to say...Mentally, right now, I wouldn't care if the house caught fire right now and burned down as long as Mom's urn wasn't inside.

I could probably hire someone to bring a roll-away dumpster and clear the house out, but not sure how all that legally works. Maybe there are folks who could flip it, not sure. Can you just walk away from a situation like this? Wash your hands if all responsibility of the property? I live in WY and would not want to "own" property here. I don't need anything from the house except maybe pictures if any can be found in the mess.

Sorry for the long rant/post, and wouldn't be surprised if nobody reads this. just not sure what to do at this point and needed to vent. Not sure of California laws regarding this type of situation. I'll start making phone calls again in the morning.
Link Posted: 1/19/2021 12:40:39 AM EDT
Contact the Probate Clerk's Office.  I would suggest having any/all information on the existing probate action that you can find.  Perhaps she was dealing with the office and/or with a Probate Attorney already.

I would start here:  https://www.sb-court.org/

It might depend on where she lived as to which division would be involved.  But that's kind of the starting point to work your way through the locations and phone numbers.

As an aside, an old friend is, or was, a RenFaire  sort.  She posted some info on a friend suddenly passing.  Was the sister involved with falconry?  I'm not at all involved with RenFaire but my friend was and with other re-enacting activities, too.

In any case, this can't be easy, so thoughts are with you.
Link Posted: 1/19/2021 3:01:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/19/2021 3:02:19 AM EDT by Hanzerik]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Featureless:

As an aside, an old friend is, or was, a RenFaire  sort.  She posted some info on a friend suddenly passing.  Was the sister involved with falconry?  I'm not at all involved with RenFaire but my friend was and with other re-enacting activities, too.

In any case, this can't be easy, so thoughts are with you.
View Quote


Yes, she was friends, and I think worked with, one of the folks with the falcons at faire. Think I have seen pictures of her with one of the birds. She has been doing it for decades, so anyone who was involved with faire would probably know her. Which is why folks are trying to belp out like the nice ladies trapping cats this evening. Another great faire couple watching our dogs while we were at the house. We got two, and think there is only one left. Leaving a trap overnight and will check it tomorrow. Coroner called me back and will be putting me in contact with one of the Public Administrators, who should be able to help with things. Coroner seems like a nice lady.

Guess I'll just take it one day at a time. Thanks
Link Posted: 1/19/2021 9:04:11 PM EDT
I can't be of much help, but will advise you to intercept her mail and do your best to be on guard for the predators who specialize in this type of tragedy.

Very sorry to hear about your sister and I wouldn't normally intrude with even more crap for you to worry about in your time of grief, but if it were me I would want someone to warn me if I was in hostile country.

Also, get some copies of the death certificates, you will end up needing them to close out banks and accounts, etc..

Again, very sorry to hear about your sister.
Link Posted: 1/23/2021 12:17:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/23/2021 12:24:09 PM EDT by Hanzerik]
@Featureless

You can tell your friend that Charlie (Heads RenFaire Falcons Court in this part of the state) is helping out a lot. He bought some plywood and we boarded up the windows to try and keep shitheads out. Someone broke in through a window the other day and tried to steal a TV already. We are trying to get the keepable stuff that may be of use to someone separated from the crap...which there is a ton of. And folks have offered to hold on to items that can be donated or given away, and we have asked that if they do have some type of fundraising effort that all proceeds go to the non-profit Falcons Court to help support the birds which my Sister was involved in.

We met with a realtor who is a friend of a RenFaire friend, and she referred us to a probate attorney who we have an appointment with on Monday. And crazy as it sounds, we found a random notebook yesterday with a name and number written on it, with the words death certificates written below. I called the number, and sure enough it was a probate attorney my Sister was using. And sure enough they have my Mom's original Will (Found Dads a couple days ago) they were just waiting for my sister to come up with the $500 to file. So that attorney is going to get the Will over to our attorney on Monday. Was really worried that it was in Sisters car which we still haven't been able to access. No power of attorney, but the probate lawyer is going to try and get involved.

I can't believe folks out here would buy houses in conditions like this one is in. The realtor didn't bat an eye walking in and seeing how it was. She said she had seen worse, and that it would sell as is in a week once put on the market. I was ready to just get in my truck and head home the other day once I had both Mom and Dads Urns, the house is that bad in my opinion. But if there is a chance to get a little something out of the property, and maybe donate a big chunk to different Renaissance Faire orgs (which was my Sisters passion), then I'll finish the job.

Thanks for listening.

Link Posted: 1/23/2021 4:17:35 PM EDT
It's good that you're getting somewhere.  I recall some of the discussions they had on some of the Faire goings on.  A lot of good people involved.
Link Posted: 1/24/2021 2:26:16 AM EDT
Housing demand in most reasonable areas is still high.  So even a house that is in less than presentable shape can be profitably flipped by a group that knows what they are doing.  The actions words there are "knows what they are doing."  But if the family decides to sell the property you can probably get a decent amount out of it that can be put to better use in other parts of the country.
Link Posted: 1/25/2021 8:02:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/26/2021 12:58:28 AM EDT
Same friend who referred us to the realtor, also has a close friend in the PD that has her car (Not involved in the accident, just parked somewhere it shouldn't have been and towed) who is gonna see if they can at least get us access to see if any personal items were in it. Got two letters today in the mail from the credit union saying they'll take repossession actions later this month if a payment isn't made. I don't care about the car, and will happily take the keys to the bank, as long as I can just look in it real quick to see what, if anything, is in it.
Link Posted: 1/28/2021 12:14:09 AM EDT
Nothing to offer here but condolences. I hope things improve for you
Link Posted: 1/30/2021 10:58:04 AM EDT
Condolences OP...
Link Posted: 1/30/2021 1:17:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2021 1:19:53 PM EDT by Hanzerik]
Got access to the car yesterday morning, folks at the police department hooked me up even though the yard was closed (by appointment only T/W/T). I had finally gotten something that stated I was the sole living family member. Surprisingly, the car wasn't too bad, some straw wrappers and a little bit of other trash. No possessions to really speak of, just a small shopping bag worth. Called the bank and told them the keys were left at the police storage yard. FedEx'd the Direct tv box back to them. Cable modem/router had no local drop so they'll send me a mailer to my home in WY. Turned off the water main, water heater, furnace, and locked it up. Put a couple mail forwarding forms in the mailbox. If the realtor thinks it best to pull carpet, some Faire folks said they'd handle it.

The Faire folks really came through, house is empty for the most part. Some stuff in the garage: A ton (almost literally) of books that'll be donated to a local library. And some other "stuff" that'll go towards the Renaissance Faire folks. I cannot thank them enough, no way the Wife and I could have done it by ourselves. So many friends, friends of friends, and contacts for things like the plumber who replaced a leaking washer valve, cat catchers, realtor, lawyer, police department contacts, junk removal service, and the manpower that it took to tackle this.

My advice to everyone will now be...get your affairs in order and organized as best you can for your families sake. You never know if or when something will happen to you, and it can be an overwhelming experience for your loved ones to deal with if things aren't planned in advance.
Link Posted: 1/30/2021 2:00:55 PM EDT
What needs to be done?  What does it mean to, "... get your affairs in order"?
Link Posted: 1/30/2021 4:22:12 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Trollslayer:
What needs to be done?  What does it mean to, "... get your affairs in order"?
View Quote


Getting a detailed Last Will and Testament done, also a Living Will, and keeping those updated when things change. All checking, savings, investment, life insurance, loans, billing, etc accounts written down or on a thumb drive and also updated as things change. And making sure the person, or persons, you have identified as your beneficiaries in your Will know where you keep those documents and information and know how to access them if and when you pass. Yes, you would have to have faith and trust in whoever would have access to that info.

Anything important that will make the Executor of your estate jobs easier. It may cost a little money to get Wills done up, and time to document accounts, but it beats having folks wondering what to do with your "stuff" legally when you pass.

Just my $.02
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