My wife just got her ccw permit and she likes the xd in 40 I think the three inch model would be prefect for her as for her first handgun, I have  springfield 1911 but that is full size and in .45 and
just too big am I heading in the right dirction with the xd in 40, all help welcomed , hooah

IMO ANY 3" 40cal pistol would be hard to handle for a first pistol.

if shes hardcore get her a 3" .45.  if shes not a 3" 9mm.   my wife has a micro and loves it.

I made a range trip yesterday and I love my 3" XD Sub-compact.I would recommend some type of grip tape and pierce grip extender.
Yes it is a 40 and has in upwards of 3,000 round flawlessly

Mine started out on a 2" .357 shooting  .357 loads, mostly 125gr JHP. A guy at the range suggested she try .38 spl and she did not notice a big enough difference to warrant the use. Now she wants a 1911 sub compact which I am currently price shopping. She shoots my Star M-40, about the same size an XD sub, with no problems. But, the Star is all steel and not too much muzzle flip due to the weight. Get the XD and see how she handles it, the .40 takes a lot of practice to get good with. I'm still working on getting effective with it.

You would be suprised, she could probably handle that Govt model all day long. She shoots both my Kimber and SA GI both are 5" Govts. Shoots my 20" Ar, 12 gauge Winchester Defender. She's 5-03 and about 115-120 #s.  Just cause their small don't mean they can't handle full size weapons effectively. If she wants to shoot the govt let her, my wife loves shooting full size .45s. Of course if she scared naturally don't make her, otherwise you end up with a " Dear ARFCOM my girlfriend/wife........" post in team forum.

ETA: Glock 30, pretty sure that is the model number, their .45 acp sub compact might not be a bad choice either. A guy I know has one, the recoil was suprisingly not bad. She also fell in love with it and immediately wanted one.