The defensive round that I prefer for all of my handguns is made by MagSafe.  I don't know of a web site.  They are pretty expensive, a box of six can cost $20 bucks!  The only other round recommended by the MagSafe manufacturer is Cor-Bon.  I use these as my general purpose hollow point when hunting to finish off hogs etc.

Try the Rem golden saber 185 +P.
From a full size 45 the ME = 540 lbs.

Bright flash though. Unbeleivable round guarenteed to decapitate.

230gr Hydroshock

My vote is for the load that feeds with 100% reliability.  If your gun feeds all hollowpoints with total reliability - you are very lucky indeed.  If you can't count on it to feed every time you are better off with FMJ than the most exotic HP that jams.  That said -I carry a Kimber Ultra Carry that feeds Federal 230 gr. HydraShocks as reliably as FMJ.  I like the HydraShocks because I prefer not so use +P loads in an alloy framed gun.  I have used the older +P Remington stuff in a steel framed Colt also.  Never having fired a shot in anger, I cannot attest to the terminal effectiveness of any round.  Based upon what I have read - the HydraShocks and +P Remingtons have a good reputation as stoppers.  My rational is that even if the 230 gr. Hydrashock doesn't expand at all - it is still equivalent to the 230 gr. ball that earned the .45 the reputation as a manstopper.  Just my .02 worth.