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Posted: 11/23/2012 2:33:32 PM EST
As has happened mant time before when i have social quandry, I defer to the wisdom of the ArFcom family.

Lets say that you and your kids are going out to dinner and a couple of your kids friends tag along. Not going to fast food, but a sit down place like OG or Red Robin

Kids are 12 14 YO. Do you pay for them, or do you ask they pay for themselves. Would it be tacky to ask them to pay for themselves??

TIA
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:35:37 PM EST


Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.


Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:36:03 PM EST
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:37:35 PM EST
Yes I always do.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:37:45 PM EST
First two posts covered it.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:38:42 PM EST
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:39:25 PM EST
Yeah, I'd pay for their meal.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:39:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?


send them home
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:40:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.

ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?

Either tell them they're not welcome or pony up for their meal.

"Sorry, maybe next time."
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:40:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/23/2012 2:42:13 PM EST by Hey-Mikey]
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


Nobody's kid is just going to jump in my car and say "I'm going to dinner with you".
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:41:20 PM EST
Pay and send your kids to hang out at their house next weekend....or not. I am generous like that.

Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:42:03 PM EST
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


This unless there parents gave me money up front.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:42:18 PM EST
They can't invite themselves if you don't let them. You're the adult. If you want them to come along, pay for them.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:42:47 PM EST
Originally Posted By myitinaw:


Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.




This. You invited them right?
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:43:28 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?


You can't stand up for yourself and tell them it's a family dinner?
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:44:26 PM EST
Id just pay for them. It is the decent thing to do. Kids that young dont generally think of money.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:45:03 PM EST
Originally Posted By Accidental:
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?


You can't stand up for yourself and tell them it's a family dinner?


This is what I was wondering.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:46:48 PM EST
Pay up
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:47:29 PM EST

Originally Posted By myitinaw:
Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.

If another adult entrusts their children with me, to be cared for through a meal period, I understand that it becomes my responsibility to provide food for the children. Of course, I do ask if there are any special instructions or plans for their future meals... wherein my friends will normally provide a few bucks to defray the cost... or the food... etc.

If my plan involves eating out, then those meals are covered just the same as my own children (if I had any). If the next meal outing happens at a greater interval, then so be it.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:51:48 PM EST

Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?

...then maybe they'll offer to pay their own way. But don't count on it.

You can say, "Sorry kids, we're having a family outing. See you later." Or, you can decide to take them along and cover their costs.

If you decide to include them, be prepared to pay their way.


Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:54:01 PM EST
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:56:12 PM EST
We took a friend of our kids to dinner and she tried to pay her own way. She was our guest that day but her parents sure raised her right.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:58:21 PM EST
Originally Posted By myitinaw:


Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.




Link Posted: 11/23/2012 2:59:53 PM EST
If you bring them along then you pay for them.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:01:03 PM EST
damn, i thought i was cheap. kids are with you. feedem
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:01:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By bookertbab:
If you bring them along then you pay for them.


ok. so at what age should they pay for themselves??
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:05:37 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/23/2012 3:06:57 PM EST by Lacoochee]
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By bookertbab:
If you bring them along then you pay for them.


ok. so at what age should they pay for themselves??


When they have jobs. Did you grow up on an island?


Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:06:04 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By bookertbab:
If you bring them along then you pay for them.


ok. so at what age should they pay for themselves??


If you agree to take your kids friends you always pay. Period.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:08:04 PM EST
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.



Why is this even a question?

__________________________________________________________________
Cross-platform gun database/electronic bound book (v1.3.2) (and the original thread).
Libertardians: maximizing libertarian losses since 2008.
«nolite confidere in principibus, in filiis hominum quibus non est salus»
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:09:07 PM EST
Let them work off the debt in the coal mines.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:09:44 PM EST
Originally Posted By myitinaw:


Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.




First post nails it.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:09:53 PM EST
Yes I always do.


Me too.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:10:38 PM EST
If the children are under my watch, of course I pay.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:11:12 PM EST
Kids I'd pay for.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:11:59 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Don't agree to take the kids to dinner if you're not willing to pay.


ok, let say if they invited themselves. Am i still expected to pay for them?or send them home?

Not sure about the details of the invitation, but...

View it as an opportunity to evaluate the kids your kids are hanging out with. Much can be deduced about a person's character and upbringing by their behavior at dinner. Granted, that they "invited themselves" is a huge negative mark. But, aside from that, take advantage of the situation. You should use it as an opportunity to demonstrate to your children how not to be a douche bag, and probably identify kids with whom they're not allowed to associate.

__________________________________________________________________
Cross-platform gun database/electronic bound book (v1.3.2) (and the original thread).
Libertardians: maximizing libertarian losses since 2008.
«nolite confidere in principibus, in filiis hominum quibus non est salus»
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:12:05 PM EST
Originally Posted By myitinaw:


Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.




This is the only answer.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:12:53 PM EST
You invite you pay. Your kids invite, you kick their ass.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:13:10 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By bookertbab:
If you bring them along then you pay for them.


ok. so at what age should they pay for themselves??


Never. If they are friends of your kids and you are taking your kids out to dinner, just pay for the damn meal.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:15:11 PM EST
If I invite you, I pay regardless of age or gender.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:16:08 PM EST
Originally Posted By myitinaw:


Paying for the kids?

Absolutely, that's the proper thing to do.




Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:16:45 PM EST
Originally Posted By anesvick:
You invite you pay. Your kids invite, you kick their ass.


excellent answer
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:17:31 PM EST
Originally Posted By America-first:
Yes I always do.


Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:17:41 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/23/2012 3:18:41 PM EST by brassburn]
Are you really this concerned with paying for a couple of kids? If it's a dollars and cents/personal finances issue, you probably shouldn't be going out at all.

Otherwise, they're just kids, pay up.

Later, you can have a talk with your kids about inviting friends along to family dinner outings; do's and don'ts


Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By bookertbab:
If you bring them along then you pay for them.


ok. so at what age should they pay for themselves??


Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:17:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By Merrell:
Let them work off the debt in the coal mines.

Or wash my truck, mow my lawn, pick up the dog shit, etc.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:21:41 PM EST
Always pay for the meal. Your kids will respect you more.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:32:53 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:41:29 PM EST
Every time, for me its just the right thing to do. Then again most of my children's friends are like family to me, so that could have a lot to do with it.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 4:13:05 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/23/2012 4:21:35 PM EST by Winn]
Originally Posted By Wash-Ar15:
Originally Posted By anesvick:

You invite you pay. Your kids invite, you kick their ass.


excellent answer


Are you actually a parent ?



If so, how old are you?


You said that the kids - who are 12 and 14 - invited themselves. So at that point you have two choices ...

1. Tell the kids that they need to go home and eat supper with their own family.

or

2. Take them out to eat with your family and *you* pay for their meal.

You're seriously asking about whether or not you should make a twelve year old pay his or her own way at a sit-down restaurant ... ?



Link Posted: 11/23/2012 4:27:21 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 4:34:07 PM EST
My 16 year old has a job and is expected to pay his own way.
The 13 year old usually earns enough money during the week to do whatever
he wants.
If I take his friends with me to dinner, I pay.
The friends parents, if they take my son to dinner, pay.
It is usually a wash and not worth worrying about.
They're good kids, I like having them around. The laughs are worth the price of the occasional meal.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 4:37:57 PM EST
Originally Posted By Merrell:
Let them work off the debt in the coal acid mines.


There ya go lol
Op is a cheapskate
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