what if Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris got into a street brawl?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - what if Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris got into a street brawl?

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:11:27 AM EDT

if Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris got into a heated argument on who was the better fighter at the local bar, who do you think would win the fight? if both guys were in their prime?

Seagal or Norris?

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:11:51 AM EDT

[#1]

Seagal.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:11:53 AM EDT

[#2]

Chuck would be a dead man.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:13:13 AM EDT

[#3]

SS, hands down.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:13:29 AM EDT

[#4]

Have you seen Segal lately? He is a fat fuck trying to sell his worthless country music albums. He cannot even lift his leg to fart let alone try and block a roundhouse kick.

No contest...Chuck kicks his ass hands down.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:13:56 AM EDT

[#5]

Are you kidding, segal is a real martial arts master.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:14:14 AM EDT

[#6]

Chuck, easily.

How many times has Seagal actually competed and become World Champion at anything?
He can't even run like a man, and he's using body doubles for everything but walking nowadays.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:14:51 AM EDT

[#7]

He said "in their prime", not now.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:15:24 AM EDT

[#8]

The world would be rocked to its very core. Tsunamis like the Dec. 26th one on an hourly basis.

In short,

ARMAGEDDON

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:15:45 AM EDT

[#9]

Wouldn't want to mess with either of them, but IMHO, Seagal would prevail.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:17:21 AM EDT

[#10]

What is it that seagal is a master in, Aikido?

Yeah, it takes a special kind of asshole to brag about being humble.

Norris hands down.

BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!

You think anyone wants to take a roundhouse kick when I'm wearing these bad-boys?
Forget about it.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:18:13 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Have you seen Segal lately? He is a fat fuck trying to sell his worthless country music albums. He cannot even lift his leg to fart let alone try and block a roundhouse kick.

No contest...Chuck kicks his ass hands down.

He does that so the pressure can build up and if Chuck Norris tried anything the explosion will kill Chuck and every living thing around him

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:18:24 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Have you seen Segal lately? He is a fat fuck trying to sell his worthless country music albums. He cannot even lift his leg to fart let alone try and block a roundhouse kick.

No contest...Chuck kicks his ass hands down.

Hell Segal would still win...Chuck is a chump. I'm pretty sure I could take him out.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:18:35 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
He said "in their prime", not now.

Regardless, Segal is a movie martial artist. He has skills, but his craft is best practiced on celluloid. Chuck has felt the pain of competition and come out on top, several times.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:18:57 AM EDT

[#14]

seagal carries a custom .45acp in real life, try taking a roundhouse kick from a 230 gr piece of lead!

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:19:16 AM EDT

[#15]

Not if Chuck had his Mini-Uzi and his rocket-launching motorcycle...

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:19:23 AM EDT

[#16]

Chuck would own Seagal!!

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:19:32 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Have you seen Segal lately? He is a fat fuck trying to sell his worthless country music albums. He cannot even lift his leg to fart let alone try and block a roundhouse kick.

No contest...Chuck kicks his ass hands down.

He does that so the pressure can build up and if Chuck Norris tried anything the explosion will kill Chuck and every living thing around him

You musn't tell everybody about the Akido secret moves!

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:20:08 AM EDT

[#18]

Segal would be pregnant.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:21:50 AM EDT

[#19]

Now if it was Walker Texas Ranger -vs- Segal, then Chuck might win.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:23:31 AM EDT

[#20]

This is the Planet.

This is the toughest SOB to ever walk the planet.

Any questions?

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:23:44 AM EDT

[#21]

A member recently related an eye witness account of a meeting between Chuck Norris and Steven Segal. IIRC, it went something like this;

Chuck Norris walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm
The bartender said, You can't bring an alligator in here.
Chuck Norris replied, this is a special alligator
The bartender asked, what's so special about it?
Chuck Norris picked up a bottle off the bar, smashed it over the alligators head, shoves his cock in the alligators mouth and the gator started sucking
About this time, Steven Segal, who had been sitting at the end of the bar walked up and starred in amazment.
Chuck Norris looked at Segal and asked, Do you want to give it a try?
Segal replied, sure, just don't hit me with a bottle.
Norris then called Segal a fag and roundhouse kicked him into orbit.

Posted: 12/21/2005 11:26:54 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
A member recently related an eye witness account of a meeting between Chuck Norris and Steven Segal. IIRC, it went something like this;

Chuck Norris walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm
The bartender said, You can't bring an alligator in here.
Chuck Norris replied, this is a special alligator
The bartender asked, what's so special about it?
Chuck Norris picked up a bottle off the bar, smashed it over the alligators head, shoves his cock in the alligators mouth and the gator started sucking
About this time, Steven Segal, who had been sitting at the end of the bar walked up and starred in amazment.
Chuck Norris looked at Segal and asked, Do you want to give it a try?
Segal replied, sure, just don't hit me with a bottle.