THE CREED OF THE SPECIALIST


NO ONE GETS AWAY WITH MORE THAN I.  I AM A NON NON-COMMISSIONED OFFICER, A BEAST OF BURDEN.  AS A JUNIOR ENLISTED SOLDIER I REALIZE THAT I AM A MEMBER OF AN UNDER APPRECIATED, MUCH CHASTISED GROUP OF SOLDIERS WHICH IS KNOWN AS THE RIBCAGE, OR PERHAPS THE PANCREAS OF THE ARMY.  I AM PROUD OF MY SELF AND MY FELLOW SPECIALISTS AND WILL CONTINUE TO BITCH, WHINE AND SHAM UNTIL THE ABSOLUTE LAST SECOND REGARDLESS OF THE MISSION AT HAND.  I WILL USE MY GRADE AND POSITION TO AVOID RESPONSIBILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ANY SENSE OF PRESENCE OF MIND.

IGNORANCE IS MY WATCHWORD.  MY TWO BEST EXCUSES WILL ALWAYS BE ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE “I DIDN’T KNOW,” AND “IT WASN’T ME.”  I WILL STRIVE TO REMAIN INVISIBLE AND UNAVAILABLE FOR DETAILS.  NEVER EVER VOLUNTEER FOR ANYTHING IS MY RALLYING CRY.  I AM AWARE OF MY ROLE AS A SPC AND IF YOU NEED ME FOR ANYTHING, I WILL BE ON APPOINTMENT.  I KNOW THE OTHER SOLDIERS, AND WILL ALWAYS REFER TO THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME OR IN MOST CASES A DEROGATORY NICKNAME.  ON WEEKENDS, OR DAYS OFF I WILL CONSISTENTLY DRINK MYSELF INTO OBLIVION, AND WILL NEVER ANSWER MY PHONE.  I UNDERSTAND THAT FOR A PERSON IN MY HIERARCHAL POSITION, REWARDS ARE GOING TO BE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN, AND MY PUNISHMENT WILL ALWAYS BE SWIFT AND SEVERE.

OFFICERS OF MY UNIT WILL HAVE MAXIMUM TIME TO ACCOMPLISH THEIR DUTIES, BECAUSE I WILL BE ACCOMPLISHING THEM FOR THEM.  I WILL KISS UP TO THEIR FACE AND BADMOUTH THEM BEHIND THEIR BACK, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.  I WILL BE LOYAL TO THOSE WITH WHOM I SERVE, PROVIDED THAT THERE’S SOMETHING IN IT FOR ME.  I AM THE LAST BASTION OF COMMON SENSE THAT STANDS AS A WALL BETWEEN ME AND THE ARMY PHILOSOPHY OF, “WORK HARDER, NOT SMARTER.”  MY VOICE IS A TOOL AND MY COMPLAINTS ARE A WEAPON THAT I WEILD WITH UNMATCHED SKILL AND FINESSE.  I WILL NOT FORGET, NOR WILL I ALLOW MY COMRADES TO FORGET, SPECIALIST IS THE GREATEST RANK IN THE ARMY, AND RANK HAS ITS PRIVILEGES.  PRIVILEGES!

That about sums it up, except I never called anybody by thier first names, it somehow just seemed unprofessional to me.

Quoted: Quoted: One nice thing about E-4 is you're high enough on the food chain that higher-ups figure you can take care of yourself but low enough that they don't hold you (officially) responsible for the kids. True enough, but then they pin the twin stripes on you, and all of a sudden, you're transferred back to the bottom of the foodchain, as it were. High enough that you can't claim low-rank ignorance, but not enough rank to (usually) get any credit for what does go right!

CPL was a cruel joke played on the poor sap who got the stripes. It meant more 24 hour duties, more extra responsibilities, and the opportunity to be reminded daily that you aren't a SPC4  who would be allowed to get away with whatever they are buitching at you for. It meant that the rest of the SPC4 in the unit were going to hate and resent you, and the E5s in the unit are going to take every cahnce they could get to remind you that they still outrank you.

Funny!  Thanks for the post!