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4/1/2020 6:58:51 AM
Posted: 1/10/2005 12:32:44 PM EDT
They had a contest to talk about embarrasing sex stories and I found this one in the pile.  

During high school I was dating a cute little Irish Catholic girl who lived in the country. Her dad was a gun owner/enthusiast/nut, a really good guy. I was home from college with my parents in the suburbs for Christmas vacation. A few days before Christmas, I get this call:

"Hey, what's up?" "Uhm, not too--" [cutting me off]"You know, no one is here for a long while." [*click*] tires squeal on the wet back roads [cut ten minutes later] doorbell ring "Come on in."

I walk inside and look around, and she's nowhere to be found. I go to the stairs, and there she is in her underwear at the top. I start up the stairs, thinking happy thoughts. She disappears into the bathroom, and I follow. Huh, the shower's running. We strip each other, step into the shower and start at it. And it is good.

[Edited for explicit content. This is a family show, sicko.]

Ten minutes later, she stops, stands up [she was, uh, not standing at the time] and yells, "HOLY HELL." It was a car door, her dad's truck.

Now I'm filled with thoughts of her dad's British .303 [with a 10x sight on it] he loves to shoot so much, and his shiny Kimber .45... Then of my parents, sad but understanding [I have two sisters] at my closed casket funeral.

She takes her clothes and bolts out of the bathroom into her room to change. I dry off and dress as fast as I can. I walk down the steps first casually, because it wasn't uncommon to use that particular bathroom. He was standing in the kitchen. I make small talk, and then he notices my hair's wet. 'Fuck,' I thought. Wait--rain oh sweet Jesus in a breadbasket, it was raining outside. I blurted 'RAIN' out, perhaps a little suspiciously. He must have bought it, because I walked out of that house myself.

The rain and sleet saved my life.

So who here has a kimber .45 and a .303 with a 10x scope?
Link Posted: 1/10/2005 12:34:38 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/10/2005 12:37:30 PM EDT
I love SA.
Post the link, I would like to read it.
Link Posted: 1/10/2005 12:39:36 PM EDT
Its the last comedy goldmine.  
Link Posted: 1/10/2005 12:48:32 PM EDT
thanks a bunch!
plus i'm just testing my new avatar. divorced now.
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