They had a contest to talk about embarrasing sex stories and I found this one in the pile.
During high school I was dating a cute little Irish Catholic girl who lived in the country. Her dad was a gun owner/enthusiast/nut, a really good guy. I was home from college with my parents in the suburbs for Christmas vacation. A few days before Christmas, I get this call:
"Hey, what's up?" "Uhm, not too--" [cutting me off]"You know, no one is here for a long while." [*click*] tires squeal on the wet back roads [cut ten minutes later] doorbell ring "Come on in."
I walk inside and look around, and she's nowhere to be found. I go to the stairs, and there she is in her underwear at the top. I start up the stairs, thinking happy thoughts. She disappears into the bathroom, and I follow. Huh, the shower's running. We strip each other, step into the shower and start at it. And it is good.
[Edited for explicit content. This is a family show, sicko.]
Ten minutes later, she stops, stands up [she was, uh, not standing at the time] and yells, "HOLY HELL." It was a car door, her dad's truck.
Now I'm filled with thoughts of her dad's British .303 [with a 10x sight on it] he loves to shoot so much, and his shiny Kimber .45... Then of my parents, sad but understanding [I have two sisters] at my closed casket funeral.
She takes her clothes and bolts out of the bathroom into her room to change. I dry off and dress as fast as I can. I walk down the steps first casually, because it wasn't uncommon to use that particular bathroom. He was standing in the kitchen. I make small talk, and then he notices my hair's wet. 'Fuck,' I thought. Wait--rain oh sweet Jesus in a breadbasket, it was raining outside. I blurted 'RAIN' out, perhaps a little suspiciously. He must have bought it, because I walked out of that house myself.
The rain and sleet saved my life.
So who here has a kimber .45 and a .303 with a 10x scope?
10 KT is very, very tiny. If it were a piece of ham, Rosy and Oprahy wouldn't even fight over it. -Rodent