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Posted: 10/25/2013 11:39:37 AM EST




do you do them?

just curious.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:41:16 AM EST
Usually I let them out.

No point storing them.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:41:19 AM EST
I can neither confirm nor deny the occasional crop dusting.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:42:14 AM EST
I especially like to do it when I am with my wife.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:44:40 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By warkittens:
Usually I let them out.

No point storing them.
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Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:44:43 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By UBB:
I especially like to do it when I am with my wife.
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I blame them on my wife....
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:45:05 AM EST
I try not to
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:45:51 AM EST
Only around bitchy looking ex sorority girls, past debutantes, and general order trophy wives
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:46:34 AM EST
Only by the perfume counters or near large groups of the elderly.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:46:54 AM EST
Only if there is someone around I can "blame" by sneaking off just as they get in the area...
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:48:20 AM EST
As loud as I can to blame on my GF.

Or in Bath & Body Works as much as I can because it won't ever matter.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:48:29 AM EST
I actually made a little girl in Alabama cry. She was about 3. Just the right height.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:48:48 AM EST
give the wife the ol'
"hang on...............ok let's go"
"what? why...OH MY GOD YOU'RE DISGUSTING"
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:50:04 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GrandfatherCoyote:
Only if there is someone around I can "blame" by sneaking off just as they get in the area...
View Quote
The best part about shopping with the wife. About ten steps ahead of her, unload, and then vacate the area.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:50:54 AM EST
I do it around old people or if I have the baby no way am I getting blamed.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:52:55 AM EST
only if I can UA and I know it will be (somewhat) SBD.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:53:55 AM EST
I prefer strategic bombing, release and bug out
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:54:49 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2013 11:54:56 AM EST by JBski]
Only while I crop dust FSA in their whopper choppers.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:55:04 AM EST
Cut one , then say 'I smell popcorn" , then everyone takes deep breath.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:57:59 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By strider98:
only if I can UA and I know it will be (somewhat) SBD.
View Quote


Most definitely. I don't care to have people look at me and go "Gross."

Which is at odds with my love of farts and making people smell them. My favorite is to go into the supermarket in the evening, when I've had a bunch of high-protein foods during the day. Let 'em out in an empty aisle, then move to the next one and try not to laugh when I hear the results of some unfortunate wandering into my stench cloud.

And yes, I realize exactly how sophomoric I sound.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:58:29 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By rangermonroe:
The best part about shopping with the wife. About ten steps ahead of her, unload, and then vacate the area.
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Originally Posted By rangermonroe:
Originally Posted By GrandfatherCoyote:
Only if there is someone around I can "blame" by sneaking off just as they get in the area...
The best part about shopping with the wife. About ten steps ahead of her, unload, and then vacate the area.



Yup. Especially when you're watching, and someone gets near her and then they keep goving her the "WTF?" looks
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:58:31 AM EST


Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
give the wife the ol'
"hang on...............ok let's go"
"what? why...OH MY GOD YOU'RE DISGUSTING"
View Quote

Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:59:14 AM EST
simultaneous threads:

- Star Forts

- Store Farts

Nice
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 11:59:19 AM EST
I let a really bad one go on the moving walkway in Chicago O'Hare Airport. It just lingered there...I looked back and could actually see the moment it hit a pack of young ladies. Or rather, when they hit the fart.

The look on their faces was unmistakable.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:03:27 PM EST
All the time. I love doing this but so far my results have been terrible, despite letting some REALLY good ones go. Guess I need to go to stores during a busier time of day.

I don't do it in stores that I am frequently a customer of or that I like, so usually this leaves Walmart as a prime target.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:05:34 PM EST
<crop dusting champion
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:05:59 PM EST
When I let them rip, they are unusually loud. I then just as loudly blame them on my daughter. I've been doing that for quite a while, now she does the same to me.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:06:10 PM EST
Only by the stink bait back in sporting goods. Then I just have to explain why my kids are blowing on the duck calls.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:07:41 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2013 12:09:16 PM EST by 1811guy]
Can't find the thread, but someone posted about going into WM to buy ammo. He was standing in line with a few others when a bald guy in a security guard uniform approached and loudly cropdusted everyone in line with a smelly fart, obviously as a ploy to disperse the line so that he could buy the ammo he wanted. Weaponized farts. I don't know whether to laugh, be disgusted, or admire the guy.

Yes, I will blow it up in a store, but only if I am sure no one else is around and if I can let it out silently. Has to be a big store so that the odor dissipates rapidly. If I were trying to be gross, I would tear it up only when I am around people I wished to offend.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:09:25 PM EST
Ammo aisle at Academy is one of my regulars. I don't often get over to the electronics section at Walmart but when I do I try to have one ready for the section with the xbox games. Choke on it, console nerds. It's been a while since my last bad flareup but when I do have them you will know I have GI disease by the unholiness of my emissions. I could easily get myself thrown off an aircraft that way.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:10:26 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:12:19 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AMZ:
Cut one , then say 'I smell popcorn" , then everyone takes deep breath.
View Quote






That's funny!
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:13:52 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AMZ:
Cut one , then say 'I smell popcorn" , then everyone takes deep breath.
View Quote




Is capturing a fart in your hand and releasing it in front of someones nose socially acceptable?
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:14:27 PM EST
I do them and blame them on my cat.

Now when I crack one of, my 2 yo shouts out "Kitty?"
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:15:59 PM EST
No. I'm a grown man, not a teenage boy.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:19:14 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BillythePoet:
No. I'm a grown man, not a teenage boy.
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That just means they're extra potent.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:23:03 PM EST
Even better in a revolving door.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:25:06 PM EST
Anyone ever rip one as they are parking and close up their vehicle to surprise themselves later?
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:27:00 PM EST
I do not always "Store Farts"


But when I do, I have a disgusted bewildered look on my face, just like everyone else
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:28:06 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Glittenstein:




Is capturing a fart in your hand and releasing it in front of someones nose socially acceptable?
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Glittenstein:
Originally Posted By AMZ:
Cut one , then say 'I smell popcorn" , then everyone takes deep breath.




Is capturing a fart in your hand and releasing it in front of someones nose socially acceptable?


Buttercupping. Depends on your social status.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:28:24 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Glittenstein:




Is capturing a fart in your hand and releasing it in front of someones nose socially acceptable?
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Glittenstein:
Originally Posted By AMZ:
Cut one , then say 'I smell popcorn" , then everyone takes deep breath.




Is capturing a fart in your hand and releasing it in front of someones nose socially acceptable?


Hand grenade.

Always funny
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:33:39 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2013 12:35:41 PM EST by 1811guy]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By sampsonite:
For a minute I could have sworn I was dyslexic.

http://i1286.photobucket.com/albums/a607/sampsonite987/Capture_zps61c9011e.jpg
View Quote


Simplified version.

Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:33:47 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By wintermute:
simultaneous threads:

- Star Forts

- Store Farts

Nice
View Quote


There should be a rule against similar, confusing thread titles.
Not banworthy, but it calls for a timeout IMO.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:36:38 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 1811guy:


Simplified version.

<a href="http://s86.photobucket.com/user/1811guy2/media/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/1811guy2/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg</a>
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Originally Posted By 1811guy:
Originally Posted By sampsonite:
For a minute I could have sworn I was dyslexic.

http://i1286.photobucket.com/albums/a607/sampsonite987/Capture_zps61c9011e.jpg


Simplified version.

<a href="http://s86.photobucket.com/user/1811guy2/media/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/1811guy2/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg</a>



That right there is funny, I'll tell you what.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:39:51 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 1811guy:


Simplified version.

<a href="http://s86.photobucket.com/user/1811guy2/media/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/1811guy2/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg</a>
View Quote View All Quotes
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Originally Posted By 1811guy:
Originally Posted By sampsonite:
For a minute I could have sworn I was dyslexic.

http://i1286.photobucket.com/albums/a607/sampsonite987/Capture_zps61c9011e.jpg


Simplified version.

<a href="http://s86.photobucket.com/user/1811guy2/media/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/1811guy2/Untitled2_zpsa531aa7d.jpg</a>


Dang, just got done saving my own screenshot of this.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:40:04 PM EST
Nice parody thread.

Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:41:18 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By sampsonite:
For a minute I could have sworn I was dyslexic.

http://i1286.photobucket.com/albums/a607/sampsonite987/Capture_zps61c9011e.jpg
View Quote
'

Came here to post this.

They were side by side when I noticed it.
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:42:20 PM EST



You guys are fucked up!
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:42:56 PM EST
Star forts
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:43:39 PM EST
Store them in what?!
Link Posted: 10/25/2013 12:44:30 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Masterbagger:
Anyone ever rip one as they are parking and close up their vehicle to surprise themselves later?
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Not intentionally...but yes
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