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Posted: 8/14/2005 9:21:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/15/2005 12:27:04 PM EDT by JBravo223]
we broke up in Jan 2004, prior we had lived together for two years and were talking about getting married. She met someone in Feb 2004 and they were together for about a year (I just found out they broke up, he dumped her about 5 months ago). all along despite dating many girls I still loved her, we mantained some contact over the last year and a half. Anyway, I haven't seen her since January this year. We started talking recently and Friday she came buy my house. It felt so good to see her again, hold her, etc...

We went out for lunch today and she says "I don't think we can be friends cause I think you still have feelings for me" I told her that I did and asked if her intention were to persue something with me. NOPE! Says she doesn't think she could love me like she used to, that to much time has passed. I told her not to call me anymore cause everytime I see her or talk to her all those old feelings come back and it fucks me up.

Needless to say I'm kind of bummed out cause I still love her. I always thought we might get back together someday, I guess not. I finally got the closure I needed. The hard part is going to be to accept the fact that someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with doesn't want to be with me like that anymore.

Fuck it. Just needed to vent.

How was everyone's weekend?
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:22:41 PM EDT
I've got a bad feeling about this...
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:23:09 PM EDT
Move on and enjoy your life. There are too many better women and too many different things to experience in life to get stuck on one person that didnt appreciate you.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:23:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CelesChere:
I've got a bad feeling about this...



not sure what you mean, please explain
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:24:41 PM EDT
im goin through the same kinda shit. it sucks bad. i'm not sure if it is completely over, but seeing/being with my ex (of 4 yrs) is real tough.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:25:06 PM EDT
at least I got some good ass on friday
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:25:37 PM EDT
You are still emotionally attached to her.

You need to get drunk, cry a little*, and then get drunk again. Now, get the fuck over her.



*It is essential you deny doing this.

Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:26:08 PM EDT
My ex offed herself five years after we split up.

That was closure.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:26:09 PM EDT

I told her not to call me anymore cause everytime I see her or talk to her all those old feelings come back and it fucks me up.


Smart move.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:26:55 PM EDT
so my ex comes by, out of the blue after two years since we've split. I see she's married
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:28:09 PM EDT
Screw the ex and move on. I don't like the idea of being around someone you still have feelings for, especially when she knows this. It's nothing but pain. Friendship is bullshit! Maybe it's just me, but everytime an ex comes back, she wants to use me for something.

Don't let her give you crap. Don't let the grammar nazis give you crap either.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:28:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Anteverius:
im goin through the same kinda shit. it sucks bad. i'm not sure if it is completely over, but seeing/being with my ex (of 4 yrs) is real tough.



what really hurts is that when she first started dating that dude she wanted to get back with me after a month in. We went out once and she said she changed her mind and went back to dating him. So even though she met him after we technically broke up, we were still intimate, and I was trying to get her back. So I feel like second best, like I lost to this guy. She walked all over me back then. I even remember her saying something like "This guy is hot and I want to sleep with him, its really hard to resist but I wont because I still love you" that was before they slept together. Thats some fucked up shit, and even after that I still came back for more.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:29:11 PM EDT
Sorry to say it, but you need to run as fas away as you can....be like the wind my friend.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:29:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
My ex offed herself five years after we split up.

That was closure.



I'm surprised the police never wondered how she shot herself in the back of the head with a shotgun.



Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:33:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:

Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
My ex offed herself five years after we split up.

That was closure.



I'm surprised the police never wondered how she shot herself in the back of the head with a shotgun.






That's just wrong man
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:35:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JBravo223:

Originally Posted By Anteverius:
im goin through the same kinda shit. it sucks bad. i'm not sure if it is completely over, but seeing/being with my ex (of 4 yrs) is real tough.



what really hurts is that when she first started dating that dude she wanted to get back with me after a month in. We went out once and she said she changed her mind and went back to dating him. So even though she met him after we technically broke up, we were still intimate, and I was trying to get her back. So I feel like second best, like I lost to this guy. She walked all over me back then. I even remember her saying something like "This guy is hot and I want to sleep with him, its really hard to resist but I wont because I still love you" that was before they slept together. Thats some fucked up shit, and even after that I still came back for more.



She sounds like the kinda chick that will do whatever she feels like at the time. She also sounds like a whore.

You can do better. It's pretty obvious you care and she doesn't. Play some Halo, shoot some guns, and go find someone new. Don't waste your time even thinking about this chick, except to learn from your mistakes. And next time, don't keep trying to get back with a girl you've broken up with.

Sorry for sounding insensitive, if I came off that way. You're doing the right thing by telling her not to call you. Just tell your mind not to think about her either.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:36:07 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:37:13 PM EDT
I went out to dinner with my ex last week. I was the one saying "nope" We broke up almost 10yrs. ago and I just can't regain thoes feelings again after that much time.

I can see where she is comming from.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:38:03 PM EDT
CUT YOUR LOSSES NOW!
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:39:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By David_Hineline:
Next time instead of talking about getting married and playing house together, make the commitment and actually get married, while they still like you.



Yeah, and then find out in 6 months, when the lust wears off, that she is a crazy bitch and lose half your shit in a divorce.

No, howabout dating a good long time, and falling in love with someone whom you respect and not just turns you on.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:45:00 PM EDT
"The hard part is going to be to accept the fact that someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with doesn't want to be with me like that anymore"

better to find out now than posting a "Im divorcing my wife" thread.

She has learned new "fuck with your mind tactics" dont let her play you, there was a reason why you got her ass on friday and then she says "I don't think we can be friends cause I think you still have feelings for me".

A classic setup tactic, dont fall prey for her evil ways.

Its OK to feel the way you do, but really she done you a BIG favor. trust me on this
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:45:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/14/2005 9:50:37 PM EDT by txgp17]
At least you didn't feel that way about her, she tell you that she felt the same way, only to take her out one night and have her go home with another man.

>>>>>>Anyone wanna see my Ex? (very BOTD)<<<<<<<<<

ETA>>> the pics are still up if anyone wants the address......
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:45:51 PM EDT
Yeah, when one of us figures out wiminz... it's RDIAS's for all!!!
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:47:42 PM EDT
Rule #1.
Any contact with ex's is just business contact.
If you dont have business, no need for contact.

Getting a peice of ass or having lunch is NOT business.
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:51:04 PM EDT


She has learned new "fuck with your mind tactics" dont let her play you, there was a reason why you got her ass on friday and then she says "I don't think we can be friends cause I think you still have feelings for me".



What's the reason? Am I missing something?
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 9:56:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ZW17:
I went out to dinner with my ex last week. I was the one saying "nope" We broke up almost 10yrs. ago and I just can't regain thoes feelings again after that much time.

I can see where she is comming from.



not trying to be a dick but I'd like to understand why you went out with her if you had no intentions of making anything happen
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 10:01:20 PM EDT
by
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 10:07:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JBravo223:
at least I got some good ass on friday



Well, that's true love....
Link Posted: 8/14/2005 11:38:06 PM EDT
you should make friends w/ the bottle for awhile....helps me...ive had a lot of problems w/ my ex girlfriend that i dated for a long time...after awhile u realize your better off w/o someone who doesnt feel the same way
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 3:25:57 AM EDT
She'll be back... to fuck with your mind.

She knows the power she has.


btdt
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 3:31:12 AM EDT
Id advise you to contact Jason and ask if he could hook you up with a friend of his girlfriend, you ll forget all about your ex
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 3:33:34 AM EDT
Closure is good, might as well lose the feelings (you had for her) now, cause this one will only bring you pain.

Find your own self-worth, then find someone worthwhile, next time this one calls hang the hell up.

Link Posted: 8/15/2005 3:43:49 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 3:45:15 AM EDT
One thing for sure, she is right, it would never be the same for either of you. What happened to you in this situation would always be a sore point. See now she got dumped and is feeling low, so she sees you and you show her the attention she needed, she got her dose and feels better about her self, and now she is moving on.

Don't go get drunk, no need, you have already gotten through the hard part, living without her, now go find that right person for you. When I was younger I would feel like I lost to this other guy, but that is not it at all, she just showed her true colors. She just isn't the one for you and you found out before it was too late or things got too complicated. Man you can go out and date now. It can be a pain but it can be fun if you look at it in the right light. The best part of getting a new gun is shopping for it man. You are young, Go have fun.
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 4:26:48 AM EDT
Nothing will help you forget about an old lover like a new lover will.
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 4:50:54 AM EDT
Is this the Doctor Phil board or ar15.com???
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 4:54:18 AM EDT
Maybe its time for swingset to post his rules on wiminz for this kid... sounds like he needs schooling
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 4:59:32 AM EDT
Time for a rebound chic........
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:02:51 AM EDT
all ex girlfriends
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:12:41 AM EDT



breaking up with a woman you actually cared about is very similar to trying to rid yourself of a drug habbit.

you think you "need" it. sometimes you'll bargain away things you'd never dream of as a result. "well, maybe i'll put up with [insert any pride or reputation destroying antic here] for a while. then she'll see how good i am and come back."

often times you'll find yourself completely absorbed in thought about how things were.

you can't see how your life can work without her.

look, as with a drug habbit, the longer you stay away, the easier it will be for you to continue staying away, and the more you'll realize you are better off.

sure it'll never go away completely. that's the way addictions work. but if youfind yourself somewhere with her, you can do two things: 1) dive right in and go down that same road again (many alcoholics say they can just drink a LITTLE this time and it won't happen again), or 2) walk away and live another day.


Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:20:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/15/2005 5:21:28 AM EDT by jmarkma]
good advice ^
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:27:53 AM EDT
So she got back in touch with you why? To mess with your head?

As others have stated...get over here.
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:32:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
My ex offed herself five years after we split up.

That was closure.



I wish mine would do that...
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:34:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JBravo223:
we broke up in Jan 2004, prior we had lived together for two years and were talking about getting married. She met someone in Feb 2004 and they were together for about a year (I just found out they broke up, he dumped her about 5 months ago). all along despite dating many girls I still loved her, we mantained some contact over the last year and a half. Anyway, I haven't seen her since January this year. We started talking recently and Friday she came buy my house. It felt so good to see her again, hold her, etc...

We went out for lunch today and she says "I don't think we can be friends cause I think you still have feelings for me" I told her that I did and asked if her intention were to persue something with me. NOPE! Says she doesn't think she could love me like she used to, that to much time has passed. I told her not to call me anymore cause everytime I see her or talk to her all those old feelings come back and it fucks me up.

Needless to say I'm kind of bummed out cause I still love her. I always thought we might get back together someday, I guess not. I finally got the closure I needed. The hard part is going to be to accept the fact that someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with doesn't want to be with me like that anymore.

Fuck it. Just needed to vent.

How was everyone's weekend?



Something similar happened to me except we were together for 10 years. sucks ass...

I heard this saying somewhere, "There is nothing worse than being in love with someone who USED to love you."
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:36:25 AM EDT
As a not to distant graduate of the school of hard knocks, I offer this:

She is simply a piece of ass now.........if she offers up the booty, go git' some.
Don't get emotionally worked up about her.
Tag it and move on until she wants some more.

Lots of women out there my friend. Tag her for fun, and that's it. The right one will come along, trust me.

vmax84
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:38:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/15/2005 5:39:19 AM EDT by fight4yourrights]
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:47:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bullyforyou:
breaking up with a woman you actually cared about is very similar to trying to rid yourself of a drug habbit.

you think you "need" it. sometimes you'll bargain away things you'd never dream of as a result. "well, maybe i'll put up with [insert any pride or reputation destroying antic here] for a while. then she'll see how good i am and come back."

often times you'll find yourself completely absorbed in thought about how things were.

you can't see how your life can work without her.

look, as with a drug habbit, the longer you stay away, the easier it will be for you to continue staying away, and the more you'll realize you are better off.

sure it'll never go away completely. that's the way addictions work. but if youfind yourself somewhere with her, you can do two things: 1) dive right in and go down that same road again (many alcoholics say they can just drink a LITTLE this time and it won't happen again), or 2) walk away and live another day.


Dude, where the hell were you when I needed that advice 3 months ago???
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:49:06 AM EDT
JBravo,

I'm not going to dog you because we've all been there.

However, there is a simple truth that you really don't want to accept: Your X does not have those feelilngs for you. PERIOD.


I suggest you focus on that and why, dispite her truth above, you won't accept it. When you figure that out, you'll be able to move on.

There are millions of womenz out there. Ask yourself, why do you feel this one is your only chance?

Good luck. Spend some time enjoying being YOU. Email me if you wan to chat.

CMOS
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:52:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JBravo223:
we broke up in Jan 2004, .... She met someone in Feb 2004 and they were together for about a year



This is the part of the story that would bother me... my experience has been that in most cases, the affair with "someone new" begins before the end of the relationship with the "old" partner.
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:54:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By txgp17:

Originally Posted By bullyforyou:
breaking up with a woman you actually cared about is very similar to trying to rid yourself of a drug habbit.

you think you "need" it. sometimes you'll bargain away things you'd never dream of as a result. "well, maybe i'll put up with [insert any pride or reputation destroying antic here] for a while. then she'll see how good i am and come back."

often times you'll find yourself completely absorbed in thought about how things were.

you can't see how your life can work without her.

look, as with a drug habbit, the longer you stay away, the easier it will be for you to continue staying away, and the more you'll realize you are better off.

sure it'll never go away completely. that's the way addictions work. but if youfind yourself somewhere with her, you can do two things: 1) dive right in and go down that same road again (many alcoholics say they can just drink a LITTLE this time and it won't happen again), or 2) walk away and live another day.


Dude, where the hell were you when I needed that advice 3 months ago???




This is so much better advice than my earlier post. Actually, the best thing you can do is move on, start working out, eating right, and comminting yourself to being happy without her. That's what I did after my divorce (with quite a few setbacks along the way). Very painful, very hard at times.

But you can do it. However, you have to want to move on. Lean on all the people it takes to get your ass going the right way. I had lots of help from this board, which, I am very thankful for. Rock on man, it's the only way to go!!!

vmax84
Link Posted: 8/15/2005 5:57:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Lazer80:
you should make friends w/ the bottle for awhile....



THAT'S intelligent. You're simply trading one problem for another. Let's admit it: breakups suck. If they don't, then you didn't care about your S/O and were in it for the tail, or so you wouldn't have to eat dinner alone. After many breakups and being dumped twice, my advice is surround yourself with GOOD, long-time friends, family and enjoy your favorite hobbies (motorcycles, shooting, pool) in my case. Pray alot. I know this sounds rediculous, but also pray for her, especially is she's got major issues and these were the root of the break-up. Ask God for the strength to forgive her and move on. Most of all, learn from each relationship. If you keep experiencing failure in relationships, it may be time to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you seek out in women. Sex? Partnership? Love? Kismet? What you seek in a relationship with a woman should not be compromised to limit your current state of loneliness or feelings of inadequacy. You're only cheating yourself.

Good Luck guys.

B. (36, First marriage, happily married 3 years now, and first child due in three weeks!)
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