So I'm sitting there eating and I'm half way through my meal (which consisted of a $5 grilled hotdog weeny on a bun and a pile of battered and fried onions) and some bruh comes in sits at the bar maybe four feet away from me. I'm at a small table he's at the bar. I'm facing the entrance of course like I have been trained for and practiced in drills for years and I got to admit I'm pretty fucking good at this. He turns to me and tells me he's hungry and asks would I buy him something to eat. (lol no really lol because unknown to him I'm a fucking tight ass cheap skate or AKA a gun owner) He had a nice sized belly on him so he wasn't malnourished (maybe he was a Arfcom'er (and felt some sort of force or bond) and spent all his annual disposable income on a paid membership, IDK, I saved mine so I could buy lunch). I told him no thanks it was against my policy to feed the animals. Then he sat there and dead nuts alpha mail fucking wolf stared me for at least a long time; I shit you not. Being an Alabama ALFA sheepdog myself(I got the ink to prove it) and properly armed with a paper plate, two paper napkins, a plastic cup, some fancy sauce(three kinds in fact), a fork, a dull knife and my tactical flippy flops (ar15.com has taught me much) I didn't flinch at all and he broke contact first I felt like Ramdo in the jail house prison part fo the first movie. If he would have made a move I would have had to have gotten it on. I had his short and soon to be demise pre-planned as soon as I saw him walk into the place, due to my advance observation post. In fact I do this as a Courtesy for everyone as they're walking in. Thats right I have a plan to kill every mother fucker in the room(except childeren under the age of 8 which I make an exception for) including myself. He's so lucky he didn't make that move or it would have gotten REAL real quick for him and it would have been bad, very bad! My plan was to use the paper plate for cover and go on the offensive with a skank made from my paper towel napkin and yelling loudly this is sparta. But fortunately for him and everyone present that didn;t happen and he was run off by the waitress. With whom I did not leave a tip as she ruined my moment that could have been.  

TL;DR dude walks up to me during a meal at a restaurant and ask me to buy his fat ass a meal, he's hungry he says. I lol and he tries to stare me down, I uncomfortably out stare him. He sits there for a while ask me if I was really refusing to buy him food kinf od shaming me and after several more minutes he leaves without food. WTF over?

Roll Tide.

I like turtles.

Paragraphs are your friend

meh, I had not one but two fatties offer to suck my dick for a twelve pack in the apartment pool room in AZ when I lived there.
They didn't even specify the brand.Could gotten my nut for a twelver of Keystone.

When is that Mayweather fight?  

I feel like this should be a parody thread.

did I just read?

i always accept this offer. were your two fatties women? that would have been even better.

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

Sig line material.

I'm curious how you were going to make a skank out of napkin

Gotta be a parody thread. Gotta be.

Lol

Trying WAY too hard.

Longmire was my fishing guide.  He was my friend.

Copied and saved for later use. 

I get ya brother, any port in the storm kinda guy. Better odds too right...

I know someone that can kill 3 men with a pencil, a f*cking pencil.....

I guess I'm kind of a puss, since I carry A FUCKING PISTOL.

Which I thought was kind of the idea...

Were they chicks at least?

I look angry all the time.


I don't have this issue with idiots but rbf sucks.



I wish my balls weren't so big.



Really , I have these problems .

Fuck that shit bag. Some shifty crack head looking ghetto goblin on a child sized girls bike tried to wolf stare me at the gas station. I guess a white guy getting out of the passenger door or a rotten ass ford work truck hurt his feels. I flashed him a big smile, said hey hows it going and walked passed him. Evidently that triggered his feels and he ranted and swore, cursed my whiteness and rode off (As per my buddy driving said rotted out piece of shit)

I LOL'd and we left. Evidently being white offends people

Did he call you halfbreed? Was he in a wheelchair? Did you call on powerful Zeus? But... DID YOU DIE???

That's funny because I automatically assumed they were trannies.