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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/7/2005 10:10:40 PM EDT
My brother has been up a recruiters ass for 2 months wanting to join the army. Personally if he's gonna join, he needs to go to the Corps, Oooo-Raaah! anyway, he's 29 and lives near our mother (I'm 3 hours away) and she's had a brain anuerysm rupture, and a heart attack and is in fairly poor health. The entire family has been against it because he is the closest relative that can be there if something happens to her, which is fairly likely. I believe every one owes a debt to the us, our vets, and our founding fathers and one of the best way's to do that is to serve, but then again, it's my mom. They've been giving him the run around, and today he's spent the weekend with a girl that pretty much has him talked out of it. Of course she's just about to turn 18 and like I said, he's 29. Should I be happy that he is probably staying home to be with our mom, or worried that a damn 17 year old girl talked him out of it, that he'll probably get stupid and marry? Or should I just draw down on him, tell him to ditch the girl, join the pd, serve that way, and stay close to mom?
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:13:00 PM EDT
He's 29 and is dating a 17 year old?

Kick his fucking ass!!!!!!


Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:17:58 PM EDT
Army is the best service to join but he's 29 and she's 18!?! WTF indeed.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:20:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
He's 29 and is dating a 17 year old?

Kick his fucking ass!!!!!!


Sgat1r5




Hell yeah. He should at least wait until her 18th birthday and then magically it'll be okay.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:21:50 PM EDT
it's in like a week, but hell, it's arkansas so it's legal.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:22:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By napalm:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
He's 29 and is dating a 17 year old?

Kick his fucking ass!!!!!!


Sgat1r5




Hell yeah. He should at least wait until her 18th birthday and then magically it'll be okay.



No it wouldn't. Him dating that far out of his age group shows there is a problem.


Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:25:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By napalm:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
He's 29 and is dating a 17 year old?

Kick his fucking ass!!!!!!


Sgat1r5




Hell yeah. He should at least wait until her 18th birthday and then magically it'll be okay.



No it wouldn't. Him dating that far out of his age group shows there is a problem.


Sgat1r5



Sarge is totally right on this one.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:26:37 PM EDT
he's 29 years old............if he is listening to some 17 year old teeny booper, then he is gone.

as for your you mom........tough call, but why should he put his life on hold, or keep him from doing what he wants, because of a ill family member? he doesn't have to be there, there are other options, ie. get your mother one of those emergency button thingies that she can press and emergency serices can arrive.......there are plenty of moms or dads out there that live by themselves that have health issue, that don't require a close familiy member to be within a 2 mile radius, just in case.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:27:16 PM EDT
Anyone under 20-23ish is still a kid. He should ditch her, man up and join the Army.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:27:30 PM EDT
1st, kick his ass for messing with the girl. I dont care what the state says is legal, he is damn near 30!!!! 2nd, tell him the military isn't going anywhere and his Mom needs him right now. Family comes first (unless your already in and we all know how that works). Cudos on wanting to serve.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:28:22 PM EDT
Your brother sounds a little messed up dude, at a 17 year old girl's house? He's almost 30?

WTF over?

Tell him to straighten his life up before making a decision like the military. Seriously, you don't need more drama when there's plenty to go around already. A fucked up personal life will just lead to more problems in the military, it won't solve them.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:28:45 PM EDT
If that was my daughter I'd kick his ass real bad
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:28:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mobius:
he's 29 years old............if he is listening to some 17 year old teeny booper, then he is gone.

as for your you mom........tough call, but why should he put his life on hold, or keep him from doing what he wants, because of a ill family member? he doesn't have to be there, there are other options, ie. get your mother one of those emergency button thingies that she can press and emergency serices can arrive.......there are plenty of moms or dads out there that live by themselves that have health issue, that don't require a close familiy member to be within a 2 mile radius, just in case.

+1
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:29:55 PM EDT
If he wants to join, let him have at it. If you're worried about mom, encourage her to move closer to you.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:30:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 10:31:14 PM EDT by Treadhead]
Kudos to your bro' for wanting to put his foot-in-the-ring man He sounds like a great guy.

Your Mom comes first though and SHE should be the focus of whatever he does (IMHO).

Best of luck to you boys and your Mom.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:30:45 PM EDT
About him wanting to serve, He doesn't want to join the army, he want's to use it as his escape from a life of construction cause he never got off his ass and did anything about school or a career 10 years ago like he should have. First time a 17 year old PFC out of Highschool rotc told private 29 year old dipshit what to do he'd loose it and break his nose. My brother is not military material. He just want's to shoot people and thinks that is what it's about. I made him go to ogrish.com and watch a bunch of shit and he quit talking at all about shooting people.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:34:01 PM EDT
Scratch that. Encourage your brother to get his shit togather.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:34:10 PM EDT
join the reserves. family should take care of mom though.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:34:36 PM EDT
From what you are saying about him, And you know him better than anyone can answer you on this board.He does not sound like a person cut out for the military.Take that from a old Jarhead
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 10:35:47 PM EDT
Yeah, he is NOT mature enough to be in the military. I on the other hand spent almost 6 years working an ambulance in down town little rock and seeing people get shot is something I can live without.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 11:23:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By occaar:
join the reserves. family should take care of mom though.



Jointing the Reserve is like joining the active Army these days. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 11:29:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
About him wanting to serve, He doesn't want to join the army, he want's to use it as his escape from a life of construction cause he never got off his ass and did anything about school or a career 10 years ago like he should have. First time a 17 year old PFC out of Highschool rotc told private 29 year old dipshit what to do he'd loose it and break his nose. My brother is not military material. He just want's to shoot people and thinks that is what it's about. I made him go to ogrish.com and watch a bunch of shit and he quit talking at all about shooting people.



sounds like your brother's got his head up his ass. Sorry but guys like him are nut bags in the making.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 11:32:30 PM EDT
he just never grew up. He's like a damn 14 year old.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 3:37:48 AM EDT
First, WHAT IS HE DOING TAKING LIFE ADVICE FROM A 17 YEAR OLD???????????

He needs to show some leadership (and at that age, he'd probably get some practice in parenting skills, too!).

The family wants him to put his life on hold because if he went into the Army it would be inconvenient for them?

I understand it's your Mother we're talking about, and I don't want you to think any of my thoughts are uncaring. Both of my parents are getting up there in age and I may be in a similar situation soon.

IMHO, if he bows to the pressure and doesn't go in, what can he do? Sit there at home and wait for something to happen? Unless he is a skilled doctor he would be a spectator to any events.

If she is dependent upon him for long-term care, that's a different story.

By the way, how does your Mother feel about him wanting to go military? That should be his concern, not the extended family's convenience.

And one more thing- tell him to ditch the young girl and find someone who will support him in what he wants to do instead of controlling him.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 3:39:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
he just never grew up. He's like a damn 14 year old.



Well, if he joined the Corps his Gunny (aka Surrogate Mom) would help him grow up!
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 3:41:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Treadhead:
Kudos to your bro' for wanting to put his foot-in-the-ring man He sounds like a great guy.

Your Mom comes first though and SHE should be the focus of whatever he does (IMHO).

Best of luck to you boys and your Mom.


+1
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 3:51:21 AM EDT
It sounds like your brother is the poster child for retroactive abortion

Seriously, he needs to join the military, ditch the girl, or at least grow a pair (and ditch the girl...)
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 3:58:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/8/2005 3:59:20 AM EDT by LS1Eddie]

The entire family has been against it because he is the closest relative that can be there if something happens to her, which is fairly likely.


Does the family expect him to remain close by until she passes? Would ne be "allowed" to enlist then?

My brother lives close to our parents, both are in poor health, and I'm a days drive away. If he called tomorrow saying he was moving to the left coast, it would never ocur to me to talk him out of it for our parents sake.

Sounds as if some of your family members are a bit selfish.

Eddie
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 4:00:04 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 4:07:17 AM EDT
To make an informed decision were gonna need to see pics of the girl.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 4:32:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/8/2005 4:35:29 AM EDT by CbtEngr1]
Not sure what your question really is on the subject...but I think you and the rest of the family need to help out.....


My mother had cancer for 8 years and beat it back 3 different times til it finally got her. She was alone in the world except for me as no one besides some neighbors and her oldest friends helped her. Not my bro nor her ex-hubby (my dad), nor her siblings, and her parents were gone. Our family expected me to take care of it all cause I lived around there. I got thru high school while she was sick, she pushed me off to college, and I finished that (while being at home some during the week and almost every weekend), and then got a job and had to move away from the city (albeit still driving home each weekend....almost 6 hours one way sometimes). When she was getting worse, I basically begged my work to transfer me close to her. They did and put me right in the same city. It wasn't easy but we were around most of the time then...no other family helped. Never really saw them until she was gone. It was easy for them to forget her and be away.

Fast forward 10 years down the road and the same thing happened with my mother in law. Crappy doctors let her cancer come back and she was dying. She knew the two daughters who lived with her and across from her wouldnt help so she told my wife..."I am not taking chemo unless you come to help me thru it". So, we sold our part-time business...I again asked my employer for a transfer while my wife took our kids and moved 10 hours away to her moms house. It took me 6 months to get back to the family but my kids got to spend 1 year with their grandma before she died. We had to take care of EVERYTHING during both problems...estate, arrangements, etc...and the only time relatives came around was to get money or goods really. The other relatives have even really crapped on us by accusing us of doing wrong and wanting anything that was left to us. Greedy SOB's. They even have stolen monies from the estate and my wife and I have paid for stuff out of our pockets for funerals and stuff. Had about put us in financial ruin.

Now we are left with the same situaton with my dad. I am closest so everyone has been expecting me to do everything and they just go about their lives in other states. Well he has been a father only in name really but I am the kinda person who prbably won't leave him out to dry...as he has done everyone else in the past.

So if you are depending on your bro to take care of everything and you are only 3 hours away..get off your butt and help him. You have got the ole "my bro is there so he gets to tend to it" syndrome. I have seen it from theis side and its a lotta work and heartbreaking and a emotional rollercoaster. Spend a weekend with your mom and tell your brother to go away for a while.

Personally if I were him ...I would probably stick around if she needs him and you all won't help worth a crap. But thats me. He could likely put off the military for a year or two with no problems but perhaps as one person said...he wants to get out from under everything like you all did. Personally you all need to give him some space. Do like we did...have your mother move in with YOU for a while...even to the end and see what all it requires. Quit your job to go take care of her and see how much it takes out of you.

Sorry for the rant but this touches a really sore place in me.

As for the 17 year old...well she's really 18?? and it is Arkansas....Would any of you 27 year olds not date a 19-20 year old.?? no much difference there. Probably would...if I had been single then, it probably woulda happened. I don't know the person but there are some 18 year olds who are a lot smarter than some 29 year olds I know and it sounds as if these two are on the same emotional/maturity level. I have some 29-30 year olds that frequent my business and are less mature than some 18 year olds. Also, since the family (you included) appear to be giving him shit, maybe he needs some companionship to provide a relief away from the problems. Give him a break.

Just my opinion.

Essayons



Link Posted: 8/8/2005 4:36:21 AM EDT
29 with a 17 y/o...I'd stay! Hell yeah, got pics?
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 5:09:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
About him wanting to serve, He doesn't want to join the army, he want's to use it as his escape from a life of construction cause he never got off his ass and did anything about school or a career 10 years ago like he should have. First time a 17 year old PFC out of Highschool rotc told private 29 year old dipshit what to do he'd loose it and break his nose. My brother is not military material. He just want's to shoot people and thinks that is what it's about. I made him go to ogrish.com and watch a bunch of shit and he quit talking at all about shooting people.




maybe the military is Exactly what he needs. I had two friends like this in high school. They went Army.
When they got back, they were completely different people. They were organized, courteous, willing to spend time to learn things, etc.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 7:40:17 AM EDT
I think 28 is the cut off age for the Marines so that one is out.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 2:15:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/8/2005 2:17:28 PM EDT by Ross]

Originally Posted By LS1Eddie:

The entire family has been against it because he is the closest relative that can be there if something happens to her, which is fairly likely.


Does the family expect him to remain close by until she passes? Would ne be "allowed" to enlist then?

My brother lives close to our parents, both are in poor health, and I'm a days drive away. If he called tomorrow saying he was moving to the left coast, it would never ocur to me to talk him out of it for our parents sake.

Sounds as if some of your family members are a bit selfish.

Eddie



+1, It sounds like the family wants him to stay so they don't have to deal with mom's problems. If he has to go do what he has to do, why can't your mom move in with you or one of the other relatives?

If there were no mom to take care of, would your family REALLY be so set against him joining? It sounds more like, "Crap, if he leaves we'll have to take care of her! Quick, talk him out of it!"

Your mom's health care should be important to you, of course, but it should be a non-issue regarding what he needs to do with his life...that is unless it really is an excuse your familiy's using to not have to deal with your mom's health problems.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 5:33:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FightingHellfish:
To make an informed decision were gonna need to see pics of the girl.

Actually, she's your typical little skinny blonde, tanned type, she's a model. She's also our stepdad's best friends daughter. I'm going shooting this weenend with him so hopefully I can talk some sense into him, or at least get further info as to what's going on. And maybe some pics of her for ya'll lol
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 5:49:13 PM EDT
PICS are needed to see if your brother is WACK!!

Tell him to join the Air Force and get a tech job!!!
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 5:52:35 PM EDT
He can't get in the airforce. He's an amateur body builder and couldn't pass their weight requirement even though he has like 6 or 6.5 % body fat. He's just to big.His best friend used to be a ranger and had him convinced that he could be too. And actually left out that his status was "used to be" but he's still active duty army. I wonder what happened but I busted him out one day. He claimed he'd been through the Marine Corps scout sniper school, at gitmo
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 6:08:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Treadhead:
Your Mom comes first though and SHE should be the focus of whatever he does (IMHO).



No she doesn't. She's lived her life - it's time for him to live his.

He should join the Corps and go fight. It would give him the discipline he needs as well as a better perspective on life.
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