need real advice.

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Posted: 10/4/2005 11:24:16 AM EDT

Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:27:11 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl.

I'd be leary about that.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:32:58 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl.

I'd be leary about that.

no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

but you oughta make a clean break to avoid any complications down the line.

and anything you hold near and dear? hide it NOW!

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:34:09 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

This isn't exactly where I would go seeking advice on women, the legal system, or in your case, a combination of the two.

But since you're here,

1) delete this thread. Never discuss ANYTHING where she could possibly find it. Another member here recently learned that lesson.

That's all the advice I can offer now.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:38:15 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty...

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:41:36 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*hr

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty... hr

That is exactly what is happening. We kinda got off track just before we got married. Instead of taking some time to fix it we went ahead and got married. We never really got back on track and we argue about the same 3 or 4 things since.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:42:38 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl.

I'd be leary about that. hr

no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*hta
and anything you hold near and dear? hide it NOW!

it gets ugly.....

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:43:19 AM EDT

[#7]

My ex and I did our own with minimal help from a paralegal. Total cost was about $125 including filing fee.

In Cali as long as you've been married less than 10 years and have no children it's pretty simple.

You live in Texas, so YMMV.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:44:03 AM EDT

[#8]

arowneragain is right. Move the thread to the TEAM Forum. I'm glad you're able to respect and trust your soon to be ex wife but it never pays to be careful.

Best of luck to you, Patty

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:44:37 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty...

That is exactly what is happening. We kinda got off track just before we got married. Instead of taking some time to fix it we went ahead and got married. We never really got back on track and we argue about the same 3 or 4 things since.

what are the 3 or 4 things you argue about?

Are they things you hold so near and dear that they're worth more than the vows you made?

I'm just saying.....i've seen some divorces over really petty issues.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:46:11 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

This isn't exactly where I would go seeking advice on women, the legal system, or in your case, a combination of the two.

But since you're here,

1) delete this thread. Never discuss ANYTHING where she could possibly find it. Another member here recently learned that lesson.

That's all the advice I can offer now.

Yeah, I had a thread going on here (still do) for almost a month before my wife and I split. After we split she got on here and found it. Mine is fucking crazy though. Nuttier than a fruit bat, I shit you not. Anyway. Make a clean split. Divorce is NEVER amicable. It may seem that way, but it's not. Donate plasma to do what you have to do. Usually an uncontested divorce is only about 300 bucks.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:48:44 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty...

That is exactly what is happening. We kinda got off track just before we got married. Instead of taking some time to fix it we went ahead and got married. We never really got back on track and we argue about the same 3 or 4 things since.

what are the 3 or 4 things you argue about?

Are they things you hold so near and dear that they're worth more than the vows you made?

I'm just saying.....i've seen some divorces over really petty issues.

Its not petty stuff. We just do not see eye to eye on things that are pretty important. (physical attention, money, where we live, ect ect.) We have talked to several different counsolers and a priest and it just does not work. We also both want kids, but we do not want to bring children into an unhappy home.

Posted: 10/4/2005 11:55:56 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

This isn't exactly where I would go seeking advice on women, the legal system, or in your case, a combination of the two.

But since you're here,

1) delete this thread. Never discuss ANYTHING where she could possibly find it. Another member here recently learned that lesson.

That's all the advice I can offer now.
Yeah, I had a thread going on here (still do) for almost a month before my wife and I split. After we split she got on here and found it. Mine is fucking crazy though. Nuttier than a fruit bat, I shit you not. Anyway. Make a clean split. Divorce is NEVER amicable. It may seem that way, but it's not. Donate plasma to do what you have to do. Usually an uncontested divorce is only about 300 bucks.

It also happened to another member in the Team Forum.

But since we're already here......

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty...

That is exactly what is happening. We kinda got off track just before we got married. Instead of taking some time to fix it we went ahead and got married. We never really got back on track and we argue about the same 3 or 4 things since.

what are the 3 or 4 things you argue about?

Are they things you hold so near and dear that they're worth more than the vows you made?

I'm just saying.....i've seen some divorces over really petty issues.

Its not petty stuff. We just do not see eye to eye on things that are pretty important. (physical attention, money, where we live, ect ect.) We have talked to several different counsolers and a priest and it just does not work. We also both want kids, but we do not want to bring children into an unhappy home.

Physical attention is important, but I think it's something that you could sacrifice for, in the short term, and work on other issues that may be barriers for her.

Money?

Get a better job. Or help her get one. Buy Dave Ramsey's book, and stick to his plan.

(so says the hypocrite who couldn't stick to a budget if it was coated in superglue - but then again, I'm not responsible for a wife....)

Where you live?
Whichever party is unhappy where they live needs a SERIOUS re-prioritization of their life. not everyone gets to live in a castle. You didn't marry daddy's spoiled little princess, did you?

You talked to a priest?

Are you Catholic?

(I am NOT asking to bash catholics - I promise you that much - I'm just asking...)

Posted: 10/4/2005 12:04:54 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

This isn't exactly where I would go seeking advice on women, the legal system, or in your case, a combination of the two.

But since you're here,

1) delete this thread. Never discuss ANYTHING where she could possibly find it. Another member here recently learned that lesson.

That's all the advice I can offer now.
Yeah, I had a thread going on here (still do) for almost a month before my wife and I split. After we split she got on here and found it. Mine is fucking crazy though. Nuttier than a fruit bat, I shit you not. Anyway. Make a clean split. Divorce is NEVER amicable. It may seem that way, but it's not. Donate plasma to do what you have to do. Usually an uncontested divorce is only about 300 bucks.

It also happened to another member in the Team Forum.

But since we're already here......
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty...

That is exactly what is happening. We kinda got off track just before we got married. Instead of taking some time to fix it we went ahead and got married. We never really got back on track and we argue about the same 3 or 4 things since.

what are the 3 or 4 things you argue about?

Are they things you hold so near and dear that they're worth more than the vows you made?

I'm just saying.....i've seen some divorces over really petty issues.

Its not petty stuff. We just do not see eye to eye on things that are pretty important. (physical attention, money, where we live, ect ect.) We have talked to several different counsolers and a priest and it just does not work. We also both want kids, but we do not want to bring children into an unhappy home.

Physical attention is important, but I think it's something that you could sacrifice for, in the short term, and work on other issues that may be barriers for her.

Money?

Get a better job. Or help her get one. Buy Dave Ramsey's book, and stick to his plan.

(so says the hypocrite who couldn't stick to a budget if it was coated in superglue - but then again, I'm not responsible for a wife....)

Where you live?
Whichever party is unhappy where they live needs a SERIOUS re-prioritization of their life. not everyone gets to live in a castle. You didn't marry daddy's spoiled little princess, did you?

You talked to a priest?

Are you Catholic?

(I am NOT asking to bash catholics - I promise you that much - I'm just asking...)

She is Catholic and I am a Penticostal........

We really have been working very hard on these issues. We have both gave in some, but we are at a point that we are not willing to give in anymore. We really are very good friends and will continue to be. As far as her finding out about this, we both have locked access to our individual web pages and this is not something that she would have a problem with weven if she did find it. I have a friend who is going through the same thing, except his wife is clinically psyco. My wife has done nothing but say that the stuff she is doing is stupid.

Posted: 10/4/2005 12:16:50 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

This isn't exactly where I would go seeking advice on women, the legal system, or in your case, a combination of the two.

But since you're here,

1) delete this thread. Never discuss ANYTHING where she could possibly find it. Another member here recently learned that lesson.

That's all the advice I can offer now.
Yeah, I had a thread going on here (still do) for almost a month before my wife and I split. After we split she got on here and found it. Mine is fucking crazy though. Nuttier than a fruit bat, I shit you not. Anyway. Make a clean split. Divorce is NEVER amicable. It may seem that way, but it's not. Donate plasma to do what you have to do. Usually an uncontested divorce is only about 300 bucks.

It also happened to another member in the Team Forum.

But since we're already here......
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
no shit! i mean, it's good everything is "amicable" *snicker snicker*

Hey, if he does have a calm, not-draw-out break up, good for him. No need to be nasty...

That is exactly what is happening. We kinda got off track just before we got married. Instead of taking some time to fix it we went ahead and got married. We never really got back on track and we argue about the same 3 or 4 things since.

what are the 3 or 4 things you argue about?

Are they things you hold so near and dear that they're worth more than the vows you made?

I'm just saying.....i've seen some divorces over really petty issues.

Its not petty stuff. We just do not see eye to eye on things that are pretty important. (physical attention, money, where we live, ect ect.) We have talked to several different counsolers and a priest and it just does not work. We also both want kids, but we do not want to bring children into an unhappy home.

Physical attention is important, but I think it's something that you could sacrifice for, in the short term, and work on other issues that may be barriers for her.

Money?

Get a better job. Or help her get one. Buy Dave Ramsey's book, and stick to his plan.

(so says the hypocrite who couldn't stick to a budget if it was coated in superglue - but then again, I'm not responsible for a wife....)

Where you live?
Whichever party is unhappy where they live needs a SERIOUS re-prioritization of their life. not everyone gets to live in a castle. You didn't marry daddy's spoiled little princess, did you?

You talked to a priest?

Are you Catholic?

(I am NOT asking to bash catholics - I promise you that much - I'm just asking...)

She is Catholic and I am a Penticostal........

We really have been working very hard on these issues. We have both gave in some, but we are at a point that we are not willing to give in anymore. We really are very good friends and will continue to be. As far as her finding out about this, we both have locked access to our individual web pages and this is not something that she would have a problem with weven if she did find it. I have a friend who is going through the same thing, except his wife is clinically psyco. My wife has done nothing but say that the stuff she is doing is stupid.

Honestly?

Your marriage sounds saveable.

I always say that, though - and even when the parties say they are willing to 'do anything' to fix their marriages, they never are. At the first sign of rockiness, they always give up.

IM incoming......

Posted: 10/4/2005 12:21:36 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

IM incoming......

*Anhold* EVERYBAHDY DOWN!! *Anhold*

Posted: 10/4/2005 12:42:59 PM EDT

[#16]

I have nor recieved any IM, nor do I think I have one.

Tinstar.

Posted: 10/4/2005 12:54:35 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
I have nor recieved any IM, nor do I think I have one.

Tinstar.

ruh-roh. I sent in several minutes ago.

look in the upper left hand corner of your screen, by the button that says 'IM messages'...

Nothing?

Crap....I never can remember what I typed the second time around.....

Posted: 10/4/2005 1:06:04 PM EDT

[#18]

IM recieved and answered.

Posted: 10/4/2005 1:09:46 PM EDT

[#19]

Goto that Divorce Court show, From what I understand they pay you.

Posted: 10/4/2005 1:17:48 PM EDT

[#20]

Thanks for the advice guy.

Posted: 10/4/2005 1:26:26 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Hello all,

A friend suggested I ask this in the GD. My wife and I are splitting up after five years of so-so marriage. She and I are like best friends, but the husband/wife thing just never really clicked. This split is mutual and neither of us is fighting over any of our stuff. She takes hers, I take mine. Since we are both poor right now, neither of us can afford an attorney. Has anyone here done the "do it yourself" divorces? Specially in Texas. Also, she is leaving me on her car insurance, I am leaving her on my phone/dsl. Any thoughts??

Please save the "screw the bitch" style comments as she is not that way.

Thanks,

Tinstar

If you are getting a divorce, then get a divorce. CUT ALL TIES! No matter how friendly you may think things are now, they can get ugly fast. You wanna stay friends? Don't. It won't work. You can be friendly, but divorce is destructive, no matter how nicely you do it.

In the end, you will want a lawyer. If she goes to a lawyer for advice on how to proceed, he WILL NOT give you any advice (I speak from experience), the moment she goes to a lawyer, he represents her interest exclusively.

Best advice, count your blessings and cut your losses. Cut the ties and move on without her. In the end, it will be less painful that way.

Posted: 10/4/2005 3:27:00 PM EDT

[#22]

Just one piece of advice. Get her the fuck off of your car insurance. WTF are you thinking with that one?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - need real advice.

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