Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Site Notices
Posted: 7/19/2002 6:40:34 AM EDT
just found out this morning that a friend/coworker justed killed himself. seems he was having problems with this wife. the worst part is he leaves behind 2 kids, 10 and 12. i have worked with him for 1 1/2 years and while he clashed with everyone else at the job most of the time, in the past few months we have become close. just had to tell someone. thanks for listening.
-jay
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 6:46:38 AM EDT
[#1]
Sorry about your friend, and best wishes for his family.  That sucks.  I have never seen how anyone could think suicide is a solution to personal problems.  
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 6:54:14 AM EDT
[#2]
Quoted:
Sorry about your friend, and best wishes for his family.  That sucks.  I have never seen how anyone could think suicide is a solution to personal problems.  
View Quote


It's a great solution for personal problems.  BANG! You've got not more problems.

Unfortunately you didn't eliminate them, you just dumped them on your family and friends.[:(]
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 6:55:05 AM EDT
[#3]
Sorry to hear that, apollojay.  Best wishes to the family, particularly his kids.

Quoted:
I have never seen how anyone could think suicide is a solution to personal problems.  
View Quote


Not to sound condescending, but quite frankly it's because you haven't been there.  When you find yourself pushed to the edge of depression, suicide looks and feels like the answer.  You and I both know it isn't, but you aren't thinking that way when you are depressed and suicidal.

the_reject
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 7:32:24 AM EDT
[#4]
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 7:59:33 AM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 8:06:24 AM EDT
[#6]
Sorry to hear about your friend - and I feel very sorry for his kids.

Eric
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 8:21:26 AM EDT
[#7]
Sorry to hear that. Are you mad yet?
In a two year time span two people I knew did it. In each case infant children were left without fathers. I mourned the loss of my friends for only a short time. After that my contempt for what they did to those kids filled me with rage. I think being there for your kids should be reason enough to keep going. Suicide is the single most selfish act a human can perform. Keep your head up. Do what you can for those that were left behind.
Sorry

DC1
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 9:57:51 AM EDT
[#8]
thanks everyone. other than that i dont know what to say.
-jay
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 10:15:05 AM EDT
[#9]

the worst part is he leaves behind 2 kids, 10 and 12.
View Quote


Damn selfish bastard....
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 10:22:03 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:

the worst part is he leaves behind 2 kids, 10 and 12.
View Quote


Damn selfish bastard....
View Quote


Ditto!! No concern for those he should and maybe have loved. I know it is hard for you, but move on to helping the family. A good friend of mine did this several years back. Once his wife recovered from the shock, she was mad as hell. She is remarried and her children call someone else father. He rest in her memories, but she and the kids moved on. Do for his family what he could or did not do.
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 10:23:03 AM EDT
[#11]
He wasn't being selfish in his mind. Most likely he saw himself as the root of a problem and didn't see anyway out but to end it. He probably thought his death would actually be a help to those he has left behind.

It makes no logical sense except to those that reach that point. Once you're there, logic takes no part in the decision.

Apollojay, you have my sympathy. And the typical feeling in this situation, depending on how close you were to this person, is to somehow blame yourself for not seeing something or not stopping the suicide. Don't do that. It's almost never true and blaming yourself doesn't help anyone.
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 10:33:53 AM EDT
[#12]

He wasn't being selfish in his mind. Most likely he saw himself as the root of a problem and didn't see anyway out but to end it. He probably thought his death would actually be a help to those he has left behind.
View Quote


I disagree....Killing yourself is not the solution. Why the children have to suffer?

He can do better by straighten himself out and make amend.... Or at least give time to heal the wound. Give the children chance to grow up and know their father.
Link Posted: 7/19/2002 10:48:22 AM EDT
[#13]
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top