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Posted: 11/1/2004 12:49:24 PM EST
heres the scoop.wife went out of town sat. a.m.-i drank several beers during the college games.went to my gunshop and purchased not one but two guns,a glock21 new,a bushy m4a3,new.she will be home in an hour and i put 1600+ on the card.how do i break it to her.here is what i am thinking."honey on saturday after you left,i fucked up.got pissed off at the game,drank to much beer and went to Jackson and made a bad mistake"==at this point she is thinking i popped a barhoe,right?then i proceed with the,(much more acceptable) truth.explain the potential rioting due to the libs loss etc.....any better ideas.need help ASAP.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:50:55 PM EST
Give er some cash to go shopping for herself. Then break the news
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:51:01 PM EST
Shut up and beat her to the mailbox...
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:51:11 PM EST
If she stays, she's a keeper!
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:51:23 PM EST
i think she'd be relieved to hear that you didn't bang a barhoe, but instead...bought...$1600 worth of guns?

n/m my woman would tan my hide, too!

better buy HER something worth that much dinero!
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:51:42 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/1/2004 12:52:47 PM EST by ProfessorEvil]

Originally Posted By jmt1271:
heres the scoop.wife went out of town sat. a.m.-i drank several beers during the college games.went to my gunshop and purchased not one but two guns,a glock21 new,a bushy m4a3,new.she will be home in an hour and i put 1600+ on the card.how do i break it to her.here is what i am thinking."honey on saturday after you left,i fucked up.got pissed off at the game,drank to much beer and went to Jackson and made a bad mistake"==at this point she is thinking i popped a barhoe,right?then i proceed with the,(much more acceptable) truth.explain the potential rioting due to the libs loss etc.....any better ideas.need help ASAP.



Put them in the back of the safe and shut your piehole.

Then take her shopping just because.....some flowers...dinner, etc.

And if she asks why, tell her you felt she deserved something special. And then mention you made a large purchase out of emotional need. Kinda like when she comes home with a new purse and two outfits when stressed out.

Enjoy fondling your new gun, since she won't be fondling yours for a while.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:51:57 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/1/2004 12:53:19 PM EST by The_Groovinator]
Hide the bill. Pay it off with a loan from your parents. Make payments to them. Leave card home when drinking.

Why does this sound soooo familiar.

How does that saying go? It's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:52:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:52:47 PM EST
A real man wouldn't have to "break anything to her".

Try this: "I bought these guns, and there's really nothing more to discuss."
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:53:06 PM EST
QUICK SHIP THEM TO ME!!MY ADRESS IS.......you will have nothing to worry about.Dont worry I'll ship the 1600$ in a month or so.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:53:57 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:55:17 PM EST
They actully let you buy them while you were drunk?
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:56:33 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/1/2004 12:58:34 PM EST by captainpooby]
Get two bricks and then pull down your pants. Place your nuts on one brick and smash the other brick on your nuts. It will be quicker, but no less painful. Might as well get it overwith.

ETA: This is where waiting periods can be a good thing.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:56:40 PM EST
2 outfits and a purse,$150-dinner and flowers,$125-the wife filing for divorce due to a $1600 impulse buy-incalculable-good advice though,keep em coming.she is half italian and can get mean,which reminds me,i better make the weaponry inaccessible.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:58:31 PM EST
When she gets home have a gift wrapped Glock box hiding somewhere to present to her.

Honey, I was thinking about you being out there without me to protect you and I got you this. I just have a hard time thinking about what might happen to the woman I love without me there, so this is for you.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:58:59 PM EST
As soon as she gets home, tell her "look what I got!"

Then enjoy the smile on her face.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:59:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
They actully let you buy them while you were drunk?

dont misquote me,i said a drank a few beers during the games,this was a couple hours later.i was not drunk.just slightly emboldened.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:59:28 PM EST
What furneral home does your family use?

Will send flowers
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 12:59:50 PM EST
You are FUCKED!

i did the same thing recently.

She made me sell them.

Just as my buddy is about to come over with the money, she relents.

YOU WILL NEVER STOP HEARING ABOUT IT.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:00:06 PM EST
take her shopping, then tell her about ONE of them

save the other for later
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:00:11 PM EST
Insert the "After this, she'll pretty much have to" diamond ring picture here.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:00:22 PM EST
thats fuckin hilarious.i just wish we were discussing testicles other than my own.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:01:31 PM EST
Originally Posted By captainpooby:
Get two bricks and then pull down your pants. Place your nuts on one brick and smash the other brick on your nuts. It will be quicker, but no less painful. Might as well get it overwith. this is the one that i was talking about being hilarious.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:02:47 PM EST
If you have to buy your wife something to make up for you over spending, your relationship is shot anyway.

Wait for the right time, and tell her. As long as it is fairly soon, she won't hate you for trying to hide it.

I've done more stupid things than that, sometimes saying "I'm sorry" goes a long way. Especially if you mean it.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:03:56 PM EST
Say you bought the guns in an attempt the fill the void in your life she left behind on her trip. Then explain how that proves nothing can take her place but you still need to keep the guns just to be safe...or something
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:05:05 PM EST
Sounds to me NOT ONLY did you purchase while drunk, you drove while drunk.

Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:05:10 PM EST

Originally Posted By Stickman:
If you have to buy your wife something to make up for you over spending, your relationship is shot anyway.

Wait for the right time, and tell her. As long as it is fairly soon, she won't hate you for trying to hide it.

I've done more stupid things than that, sometimes saying "I'm sorry" goes a long way. Especially if you mean it.

i appreciate your advice,but that shit aint gonna fly.i think i will go with my original plan.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:05:18 PM EST
Maybe she'll just get pissed and say...YOU DID WHAT? What the hell were you thinking!

<­BR>

You Bought a Glock!
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:06:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By garandman:
Sounds to me NOT ONLY did you purchase while drunk, you drove while drunk.


fellas,i was not driving nor purchasing while drunk.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:08:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By jmt1271:

Originally Posted By garandman:
Sounds to me NOT ONLY did you purchase while drunk, you drove while drunk.


fellas,i was not driving nor purchasing while drunk.



OK.

Return one, if unfired.

Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:08:22 PM EST
Oh Yeah!!!!! Dead man doesn't begin to cover it. Your on the shit list forever. You'll never hear the
end of it either.

Depending where you at in your marriage you might get away with a big rock. Oh look, honey, see what
I got you for our 7th anniversary, surviving that ofensive odor I was emitting yesterday, because I'm
a man and love my woman. Just wanted to do something nice for you might even work. Two guns is
gonna cost at least a Carat. In my house anyway.

I'm still trying to figure out how to out the a gun I bought about 4 guns ago. Not to mention the other 4.
What am I gonna do when I have to buy a new safe?! Tell us what works for you. Or doesn't even. Pics...Pics of the bat!.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:08:32 PM EST
Get her one too?
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:09:19 PM EST
"Honey, I love you and I want you to be safe. I bought you a handgun so that you can be safe when you're traveling."

Kharn
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:09:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By jmt1271:

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
They actully let you buy them while you were drunk?

dont misquote me,i said a drank a few beers during the games,this was a couple hours later.i was not drunk.just slightly emboldened.



DUE = driving under emboldenment



Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:10:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By Kharn:
"Honey, I love you and I want you to be safe. I bought you a handgun so that you can be safe when you're traveling."

Kharn



If she is pro gun, this is a stroke of genius.

Then tell her youa re gonna pay for her CCW training.

Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:11:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By The_Alchemist:
Say you bought the guns in an attempt the fill the void in your life she left behind on her trip. Then explain how that proves nothing can take her place but you still need to keep the guns just to be safe...or something



That's probably the only one that even has a chance of avoiding captainpooby's ball-scrunching.


Spin some yarn that somehwo CONNECTS your irrespsonsible behavior to her abscence, and try to maek it about her, or how much you missed her, or how much you need her.

Good luck with that.

Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:12:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mauser101:
When she gets home have a gift wrapped Glock box hiding somewhere to present to her.

Honey, I was thinking about you being out there without me to protect you and I got you this. I just have a hard time thinking about what might happen to the woman I love without me there, so this is for you.



Screw it, it looks like Tupperware, anyway. She'll be thrilled.

Doc @ M&A Parts
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:14:03 PM EST

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By Kharn:
"Honey, I love you and I want you to be safe. I bought you a handgun so that you can be safe when you're traveling."

Kharn



If she is pro gun, this is a stroke of genius.

Then tell her youa re gonna pay for her CCW training.


she is as pro gun as we are,but very conservative with money.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:20:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By jmt1271:

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By Kharn:
"Honey, I love you and I want you to be safe. I bought you a handgun so that you can be safe when you're traveling."

Kharn



If she is pro gun, this is a stroke of genius.

Then tell her youa re gonna pay for her CCW training.


she is as pro gun as we are,but very conservative with money.



Then you are screwed. Send me the new guns after she kills you.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:24:27 PM EST
i think i am screwed.not trying to make my original question unanswerable,but here is a complicating twist.she is wanting to build a new house,all in the saving mode.i will just throw myself at her mercy.i CANNOT let that bill come without her knowing first.i will tell her my original plan,then promise to take a few more hours at work for the next month or so,maybe that will work.oh yeah,i will also blame the bad influence of you diseased bastards.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:27:15 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/1/2004 1:27:33 PM EST by MrClean4Hire]

Originally Posted By jmt1271:
i think i am screwed.not trying to make my original question unanswerable,but here is a complicating twist.she is wanting to build a new house,all in the saving mode.i will just throw myself at her mercy.i CANNOT let that bill come without her knowing first.i will tell her my original plan,then promise to take a few more hours at work for the next month or so,maybe that will work.oh yeah,i will also blame the bad influence of you diseased bastards.



Go buy The Total Money Makeover book by Dave Ramsey and tell her you are now a changed man and that will never happen again..........or as far as she knows.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:27:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/1/2004 1:28:19 PM EST by caveman]
What the hell is wrong with you? You're the man. Tell her you bought them and if she doesn't like it...well...too bad, get over it.

<­BR>

Then run like hell



The last time I did something like that (got a safe, 2 handguns and a shotgun) all she said was"Well, we know where all the money from your side jobs is going."


Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:28:15 PM EST
When i said get both i was just kidding, and he was at my house just before his purchase and he was not drunk!
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:28:18 PM EST
Take you balls out of the freezer and put them in your pocket. That is about close enough to where they should be. Tell here what you did and tell her to figure out a way to deal with it.




Send ME the guns before she kills you.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:29:15 PM EST
what about this guys?just tell her i fucked up saturday,i love her and am at her mercy,then...just show her this thread.sheesh,i gettin a beer.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:30:26 PM EST
Wait. Vote for Bush. Then tell her, and die like a man.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:30:56 PM EST

Originally Posted By hydroshok:
When i said get both i was just kidding, and he was at my house just before his purchase and he was not drunk!

it is your fault hydro.look for a phone call,she will be home within the hour.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:31:50 PM EST

Originally Posted By New_Pup_101:
Wait. Vote for Bush. Then tell her, and die like a man.

bush is way up in tennessee.it doesnt matter if i vote or not.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:32:29 PM EST
Does she drink?
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:32:46 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mauser101:
When she gets home have a gift wrapped Glock box hiding somewhere to present to her.

Honey, I was thinking about you being out there without me to protect you and I got you this. I just have a hard time thinking about what might happen to the woman I love without me there, so this is for you.




THIS IS GOOD! Really!...... Sounds like your best option.
Link Posted: 11/1/2004 1:33:27 PM EST

Originally Posted By GhostShooter:
Does she drink?

occasionally,and trust me when i tell you,we DO NOT want that.
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