Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Posted: 8/10/2011 12:16:56 PM EDT
wife is getting one because of all the problems she has had the last few years.  cancer was one along with many many minor issues.  what can i expect as a husband?  we did have a son after the cancer issue was dealt with so she is worried about caring for him while healing.  they want to do the non evasive if the scar tissue isnt too bad.  whats the healing time on each?  during the cancer surgery, they took one ovary.  since then she has been extremely moody with little to no sex drive.  will full removal cure this or atleast give me some warning when the switch is flipping?  i cant talk to her about it,  MOOD SWING again.  any help would be nice.
Link Posted: 8/10/2011 12:19:26 PM EDT
She needs to stick with hormone treatments after. Some women lose their sex drive. I haven't had one, but know two women who have.
Link Posted: 8/10/2011 3:39:33 PM EDT
Yep...hormone therapy will be absolutely necessary...and it can take some time to find the right "cocktail".  Every woman is different, so your input is actually pretty important.  You know what she is "supposed to be like".  If she starts acting "weird" it'll be important for you to say something so she can get with her physician and change her meds.  With the wrong meds she can become extremely moody, depressed (even dangerously so), and just plain "wrong".  This would not be a good time to "keep your opinion to yourself".  I think most women deal with it fine, with just a little moodiness until they get used to it.  But some react weirdly.  I had a friend who became suicidal––-but that's worst case scenario.

I suppose it's like postpartum depression.  Not all women get it.  Some go nuts.

Mister Hystersisters - info. for the guys - they also offer a support forum for her and an e-book for you

The Hysterectomy Association (forum)

I had one when I gave birth to my son...but not total...so I don't have the hormone issues...The healing time was the biggest problem...and the loss of libido.  The husband and I were both pretty terrified that I wouldn't get that back...but my mom (who also had one) assured me that it would return.  It took nearly 6 months before I actually wanted to have sex.  And at least that long for sex to stop hurting (but I also had a pretty traumatic birth).  I actually cried during sex the first few months after (big turn off), even once I'd healed. It actually decreased my length (internally) - maybe that's normal.  It was pretty scary, especially since we were newly married and terrified that our sex life might be coming to a crashing halt.  

We had lots of arguments because I felt guilty and pissed off about the whole thing and he was understandably concerned about his future sex life.  Plus, I was probably still a little wonky after the birth and dealing with the emotional upheaval caused by not being able to have more kids  .

After nearly a year, the planets were completely re-aligned.  I do still occasionally feel pain if he goes "too deep".   But that can be dealt with easily with a quick verbal que.

All I can say is, be patient, but assert your needs as well.  She could be fine...but she could also be a wreck.  Just be ready to support her.  Talk, talk, talk your way through it.

Good luck!

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 6:53:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2011 6:54:35 PM EDT by NimmerMehr]

Originally Posted By XCRmonger:

She needs to stick with hormone treatments after. Some women lose their sex drive. I haven't had one, but know two women who have.

isn't dat only in full where they take the gonads?

Editz, post above answers that Q.

Link Posted: 8/12/2011 4:40:18 AM EDT
Research hormone treatments. And when you think you've researched enough, look some more.

Link Posted: 8/12/2011 4:46:06 AM EDT
My wife had one at 33, They did leave one ovary so she is not on any hormones.
She had it due to Endometriosis and has been 100% pain free for 7 years now.
She's now 40 and I swear to God she tries to kill me in bed.
Link Posted: 8/12/2011 5:46:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Backnblack:
She's now 40 and I swear to God she tries to kill me in bed.

There really are worse ways to go you know.

Link Posted: 8/12/2011 8:20:47 AM EDT
My Mom had a hysterectomy in her early 40's and it was touch and go with her for a long time.  You could tell when she hadn't taken her meds yet that day.  She would be highly irritable and would fly off the handle for the littlest reasons.  Just being around her at times was horrible.  Then she would take her meds and then mellow out.  Once some time went by and we found the right meds, her body adjusting to the changes and a few life changes things improved for her dramatically.  However I think the operation did impact my parents relationship because they divorced some years later with intimacy issues being one of the problems.    

Every woman will handle this differently, my sister had one done in her early 30's and it didn't seem to bother her in the least.  She is the same happy go lucky lady she always was with little to no effects.  She never had children due the procedure but she worked through that by being an awesome aunt and telling me one day, "I helped raise your ass, thats enough for one lifetime.".

To the OP, take things one day at a time, be patient and above supportive.  Everything will work out in the long run.  
Top Top