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Posted: 10/6/2005 6:33:36 PM EDT
I wont get into the details here. I've noticed a couple guys flirting with her but she doesn't realize it. i dont know how she doesnt, but i know she isnt purposefully doing it.

we had a discussion about it a couple of weeks ago and things were great. But now something else seems to have come up. i was a little po'd earlier, but i'm ok now. i think we're gonna have a talk later tonight.

biggest problem now is i think she lied to me about something. It wasnt anything major, but it makes me question a lot of what she said before.

this isnt a kick-her-to-the-curb senario so i'd really appreciate not having that response from any smart-asses on the board. i'm not in the mood.

i dont want to piss her off but i want to make a BIG point that this sh*t aint gonna keep happening otherwise I can't trust her and it wont work.

Other than this thing she's been absolutely amazing and is by far the nicest girl i've dated. We're both pretty head over heals for each other, so i really dont think she meant anything.

i think the biggest problem is after my last relationship i've been over-analyzing a lot of stuff because the previous one got WAAAY f'd up (b/c she's basically psycho). there was a lot of stress in that one, and i just really really really want to avoid that stuff in this one.

We've been dating for 3 days shy of 6 months, and i want to make it last. any tips and advice are greatly appreciated.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:37:51 PM EDT
Just say it. Don't beat around the bush, and don't treat her like a kid. Say what you goota say, be honest and look her in the eye. It's all any man can do.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:39:01 PM EDT
Say, Look... knock it the fuck off.


Sugar coat as neccassary.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:41:47 PM EDT
There's a difference between flirting and humping. I've been married a while and when my wife and I go to parties, we are often being flirted with. It's important to know the difference between flirting and propositioning.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:42:06 PM EDT
Agreed, just say what you gotta say.

Get this shit out early. 6 months? Thats early.

speak up and get it over with.

Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:44:18 PM EDT
Any women knows if a man is flirting with them. It had to be said
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:50:22 PM EDT
If she's a looker, there will ALWAYS be somebody working on her.

So you either trust her or you don't.

If you don't, there are two possibilities:

1. You're the jealous asshole type.

2. Your instincts are correct.

In your heart-of-hearts, you know which is correct, and what you should do. Just don't talk yourself out of what's right.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:51:19 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:52:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:
If she's a looker, there will ALWAYS be somebody working on her.



And if she is flirting back, he will only be the next notch on her bedpost.

Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:53:24 PM EDT
This thread is worthless without pictures!!!!


Someone had to say it!


Anyhow, just tell her like you did us, Direct and honest, allways the best policy.


Travis
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:53:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:56:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Any women knows if a man is flirting with them. It had to be said



Disagree. I can very rarely tell when a guy is flirting with me.




Probally because they all are!
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 6:57:56 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:01:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TravisJ1:

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Any women knows if a man is flirting with them. It had to be said



Disagree. I can very rarely tell when a guy is flirting with me.




Probally because they all are!



Hello! Wake up SP1
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:02:25 PM EDT
Take her down a notch till she looks like this -->
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:02:44 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:03:44 PM EDT
I'll let you in on a little secret that I used when I was single to determine if I could trust my girlfriend. Watch her eyes. In a public place, if her eyes follow men (as in plural) as they walk past you both, get rid of her. She WILL cheat on you.

The eyes are the window to the soul.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:06:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
I'll let you in on a little secret that I used when I was single to determine if I could trust my girlfriend. Watch her eyes. In a public place, if her eyes follow men (as in plural) as they walk past you both, get rid of her. She WILL cheat on you.

The eyes are the window to the soul.




WTF???

So you never look a women when you are with your girlfriend?
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:06:18 PM EDT
Jealousy will destroy everything you have. You have the answer right in front of you, all you lack is patience. Kick back listen & watch the senario & her reaction. The guys are following the flow of blood thing, you will never be free from it. These are her decisions, let her make them. True character is what you do when you think no one is watching. They flirted, she did not pursue the advancement, your golden man. If you think she might be the one for god sakes give her the freedom to be herself & the trust to do the right thing, because 20 years from now if your still together that's exactly how things are going to operate. The only thing you need to control is your self. Good luck bro
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:06:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:07:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
I'll let you in on a little secret that I used when I was single to determine if I could trust my girlfriend. Watch her eyes. In a public place, if her eyes follow men (as in plural) as they walk past you both, get rid of her. She WILL cheat on you.

The eyes are the window to the soul.



That is without a doubt the biggest crock of shit I have seen in a while.

Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:07:29 PM EDT
I really dont know why people make this stuff a big deal... You can't make anyone remain faithfull to you. The person has to have enough respect for you to do it on their own. If she continues down the path, then move on. There is no sense of making someone do something they are not willing to do. Talk to her, explain you dont appreciate her delighting in other mens' attraction to her.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:08:51 PM EDT
There is a difference between throwing a casual glance in someone's direction vs. visually undressing someone. That is what I meant.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:09:33 PM EDT
Whatever you do, do not hold off on letting the girl know. Later on she'll accuse you of not being open with your feelings and that's just a new chapter of crap to deal with. Be completely and totally honest with her at all times and trust that she would do the same with you, if not, then screw it, you might deserve better.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:09:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
There is a difference between throwing a casual glance in someone's direction vs. visually undressing someone. That is what I meant.



You're still full of shit.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:10:44 PM EDT
Let's hear your story, roboman. Ass-muncher!
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:12:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
Let's hear your story, roboman. Ass-muncher!



I don't have one. Consequently, I don't spread about complete bullshit about how you can tell if your significant other is going to cheat on you.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:12:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
I'll let you in on a little secret that I used when I was single to determine if I could trust my girlfriend. Watch her eyes. In a public place, if her eyes follow men (as in plural) as they walk past you both, get rid of her. She WILL cheat on you.

The eyes are the window to the soul.



Eyes my ass... They will cheat if they feel the need or have used you up, and its time to move on.( While stringing you along in the process)
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:12:16 PM EDT
I trust my wife. Her best friend is a guy, and they hang out frequently. If she's headed out, she's headed out, and getting pissy isn't going to make a whit of difference.

If you can't trust someone in broad daylight, how are you gonna sleep next to them?

GT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:14:57 PM EDT
Duh, I have nothing to add, so I'll just criticize other people. Duh! Right roboman??!!

Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:15:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
I'll let you in on a little secret that I used when I was single to determine if I could trust my girlfriend. Watch her eyes. In a public place, if her eyes follow men (as in plural) as they walk past you both, get rid of her. She WILL cheat on you.

The eyes are the window to the soul.





You can look, but you can't touch. It's human instinct to look at something/someone we find attractive. That doesn't mean we're going to cheat. I look at people, my husband looks at people...Hell, I point girls out to him that I think he'd find attractive, and vice versa. It boils down to trust and security. We trust each other and are secure enough in ourselves and our relationship to not let trivial things like that bother us.





My kinda Girl!!



And I deffinitely agree on the trust issue!!

Travis
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:19:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By m4bandit:
Whatever you do, do not hold off on letting the girl know. Later on she'll accuse you of not being open with your feelings and that's just a new chapter of crap to deal with. Be completely and totally honest with her at all times and trust that she would do the same with you, if not, then screw it, you might deserve better.



heh... yeah. thats actually already happened. her biggest fear (to quote her) is something along those lines because i wont tell her if somethings bothering me and it builds. which, she is right about. which is why i brought this to her attention earlier. apparently its a 2 edged sword
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:28:51 PM EDT
First of I would try to chill a little. I know you have someone you love and would hate to loose her but being jealous there is a good chance that will happen. Take it from me I am a jealous ass and I am single on account of it.
Talking is a good thing because if you dont it will just eat you up and turn into a blow out. As SP1 girl said some people are just veing nice and are mistaken for being flirtacious even though they have no intentions of going somewhere else.

Good luck with however you handle it.

Jim
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:30:19 PM EDT


My friend Ed in grade school would stand on the girl's foot so she could not walk away while he was trying to woo her. That would be a pretty clear sign I think.


Does that work?
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:44:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
Duh, I have nothing to add, so I'll just criticize other people. Duh! Right roboman??!!



He probably didn't have anything to add except you're wrong. I agree with him. You're wrong.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:45:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:

The eyes are the window to the soul.




That's one way of looking at it.

Personally I've always said: The eyes are the funnel to the brain.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:51:54 PM EDT
What did she lie about?
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 8:23:17 PM EDT
I would think If she is at all flirting back its time to move on. Looking is one thing, everyone does it, but flirting is another. Get out while you can.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 8:30:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/6/2005 8:31:45 PM EDT by PBIR]

I wont get into the details here. I've noticed a couple guys flirting with her but she doesn't realize it. i dont know how she doesnt, but i know she isnt purposefully doing it.


Get over it or move on, it's just that simple.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 8:37:38 PM EDT
It's been said" you'll lose 'em the way you found 'em".


What's her history? Did you pick her up and her in one night ?

Have you known her for a long time ?

What do most of her true freinds act like ?


Worry more about these things than anything, History repeats itselfagain and again.


Looking / flirting is not cheating
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 8:42:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By liquidsunshine:
It's been said" you'll lose 'em the way you found 'em".


What's her history? Did you pick her up and her in one night ?

Have you known her for a long time ?

What do most of her true freinds act like ?


Worry more about these things than anything, History repeats itselfagain and again.


Looking / flirting is not cheating



I agree with most of that, and while flirting may or may not be cheating it will almost certainly lead to it. Speaking from experiance......
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 8:48:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/6/2005 8:50:20 PM EDT by beachchickfl17]
One thing that i have learned is say what you have to say and get it out of your system and off your chest. Women are understanding with that kind of stuff or at least i am. If my bf came up to me to ask a question of something that was bothering him i would take it seriously! Just talk to her and get everything on the table it will be fine.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 8:49:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/6/2005 8:50:04 PM EDT by natedogg42]

Originally Posted By roboman:

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
There is a difference between throwing a casual glance in someone's direction vs. visually undressing someone. That is what I meant.



You're still full of shit.



Is it just me or is roboman a born again asshole? Lately it seems as if he's making a point to verbally degrade somebody in EVERY one of his posts. I hadn't noticed this until recently. Maybe he's always been an asshole and I've overlooked it...I don't know. Either way, keep up the good work, I like it .
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 12:58:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By soccermike7:
I wont get into the details here...

< ... >

this isnt a kick-her-to-the-curb senario so i'd really appreciate not having that response from any smart-asses on the board.




So then only kick her halfway to the curb. Without details, we can't really tell you what to do other than to just spill it to her.
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:02:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By soccermike7:
this isnt a kick-her-to-the-curb senario so i'd really appreciate not having that response from any smart-asses on the board. i'm not in the mood.



Not a kick her to the curb post. Just read this: www.nomarriage.com
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:03:07 PM EDT
We need pictures of soccermike7's girlfriend.
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:03:43 PM EDT
If you don't have honesty in the realtionship, you ain't got nuthing.

Ask her about the lie. Guage how honestly she answers.

If she doesn't fully put it to rest in your mind, keep watching teh honesty thing.

Cuz, If you don't have honesty in the realtionship, you ain't got nuthing.

Best wishes.
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:13:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By soccermike7:

i think the biggest problem is after my last relationship i've been over-analyzing a lot of stuff



This also jumped out at me.

If the work is THIS much work now, what's it gonna be like in a few years?

I love my wife passionately, but its MUCH more work now than it was in the dating stage (she'd say the same)

Also had a friend in college whose early stages of the relationship were SOOO tense and uptight.

Eventually imploded.

Don't over analyze. But if that much analyzing is warrranted, be very afraid Forrest.



Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:18:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Aimless:
Oh and I wouldn't be with someone who would lie about a non trivial matter.



Yeah, save lies for little stuff, inconsequential stuff, stuff that doesn't matter.

Uhhhmmmm, wait - aren't people who lie about inconsequential stuff known as pathological liars??



Personally, I wouldn't be with someone who lies at all. But that's just me....


Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:23:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
I'll let you in on a little secret that I used when I was single to determine if I could trust my girlfriend. Watch her eyes. In a public place, if her eyes follow men (as in plural) as they walk past you both, get rid of her. She WILL cheat on you.

The eyes are the window to the soul.


You have got to be shitting me.
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 1:24:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/7/2005 1:25:06 PM EDT by ArmedAggie]

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Any women knows if a man is flirting with them. It had to be said



Disagree. I can very rarely tell when a guy is flirting with me.



Was he looking into your eyes when he spoke?

If you aren't getting pissed, he's flirting.
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