jesus..i have to go mow the lawn.

If this board becomes full of this crap Im out of here.

Sorry AK47.net is down but please keep your child off of the AR15.com

When I was in school there was a kid who always farted real loud in class. One day I was watching him and he made the I am about to fart face. Well he farted and the look on his face turned to [:O]. He immediately asked to go to the bathroom and everyone knew he shit his pants. Funny stuff.

all the time, even on my first date with my wife.

Are you kidding? I find the acustics in most supermarkets supurb for the low growl of my rectal burps.

Holding them back is VERY unhealthy. It can cause massive dialation of the sphincter muscle, that leads to.....well....never mind.

Let'em rip.......you'll thank me.

Are you kidding? Every chance I get!

Why? you gonna light a match.

Yea, it dont get much more "stoopid"

So nice to see the AK-47dotnet topics are now on this board.[grenade]

Best time to do it is in the middle of a dance club. Right next to a goodlooking chick talking to some other guy. Then give him weird looks as if he did it. After that take over the conversation and comment on the other guy farting.

Nope. I always fart in public ON PURPOSE.

Shouldnt this be under the "Accidental Discharge" thread?

Always the best are the silent bombs that really stink let those go in the grocery check out line the hardest part is to keep from rolling when everyone looks at each other.

This guy obviously did more than just fart in public while bungee jumping

[img]http://wsphotofews.excite.com/012/nz/k3/kO/3n29350.jpg[/img]

[puke] ROTFLMAO!

You guys are missing the best opportunity.  Hold it until the elevator get to the floor that you want.  LET IT OUT and step out. Feel for the people going in! Trapped like rats!

[url]http://www.createafart.com/[/url]
[url]http://www.farts.com/[/url]
[:D]

Smoked oysters, Ritz crackers, and beer make a nice biological agent as well.

That is SO sick, but damn, I've been having the WORST week of my ENTIRE life, and that made me laugh my ass off!

M4 What could be so bad? I found out Phil Lesh and friends will be here in June

Super heros don't fart in public accidentally, or on purpose!  It ruins the super hero image!
[img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/Bartman.gif[/img]

-RoadDog

Used to work in a munitions control room in the Air Force and it was small, cramped and had no ventilation.  Ammo troops lousey diets and lack of manners can definately can let them rip frequently with the odor being none too pleasant.  The constant rips were starting to affect our productivity due to laughter, the vocal complaints of those affected and the constant razzing.  Plus we had guys dodging in and out of the room constantly for fresh air so the senior controller advised us to rip them outside the control room so as not to impede productivity.  Down the hall resided the office of the dreaded AFK (munitions accountability) assholes.  So, anytime we had to rip one we would go in there and ask some inane question and then rip a silent one!  By the time they smelled it we were back in the control room while they were pointing fingers at each other and telling each other to knock the shit off.  They were pretty dense those AFK guys and gals and provided hours of entertainment to us ammo troops.

I had an uncontrolled 10psi release at a gun show. No one heard it and the smell was no worse than all of the sweaty stinky people packed in the building.

I have a nifty remote control fart machine.
Push the button on the hand held remote
and the concealed
unit emits a realistic fart sound.
I tested it out at Super Stop and Shop
while I was in a long line.
The woman behind me after the third phony fart said to me: "If you're going to be a [i]HOG[/i], go to the back of the line."

I am literally sitting here crying because I am laughing so hard at that pic!

That -- Is ----So----Funny!

NEVER accidentally.

Of course I've farted in public.  But this is funnier.

When i was a kid in grade school, we were called into the assembly.  Hundreds of kids and their teachers were in attendence, the principal was giving out BS awards for citizenship, attendance, etc.  

At one point he held his hands behind his back, with his mike in  his hands.  The mike was right against his buttocks.  He farted right into the mike and the sound was amplified into the hall.  The whole hall of grade kids started laughing.  Pretty funny.  He stood there nonchalant like nothing happened.

I let one go in an elevator at work - the express elevator that goes the long distance, thus trapping people inside for a crucial extra few seconds. I did it just before leaving the box, and it was a very "sweet" one. Lots of personality. I chuckled about it for a while, and when I went to leave the building about a half hour later, on the same elevator, the odor was still dominant!!  I was very proud!!!  I still giggle thinking about all the stuffy, suit wearing bank execs that got to share my joy that day.

I was in college and I took a seat next to this girl that I was trying to talk to all semester.  Well, during lecture, I accidentally dropped by pen.  When I bent over to pick it up, I let out a huge burst.  Not only was it loud, but it stunk, the kind of stink that ends relationships.

I was in the 3rd grade and I had a couple friends on the other side of the class who were making fun of me for some reason, for the ultimate "screw you jerk" statement I decided to stand up and walk over there and do a nice job of crop dusting the isle where they were sitting.   My plan was to just lay a ring of stink around their desks, low and behold I was super potent that day and the cloud of foul gas managed to disperse to the rest of the class and I had 20-30 students all mad at me including the teacher.

I still laugh my ass off to this day thinking about it, it was so bad that the teacher made me go sit outside for like 1/2 an hour so I could "vent" away from the confines of the class room.   It was so funny because she was an asian lady who had a fairly thick accent and you could here her saw "arrrhhhh,(awww) you weak(reak), you go outwide(outside)now."

That was done on purpose though and definitely wasn't an accident.



I remember accidentally ripping two air biscuits during my highschool years, in each case it was a class room environment where you were quite aware of the fact that you were trying NOT to release any toxic fumes.  In one situation one of my friends made me laugh really hard at just the wrong moment and I just happened to "let go" when I forgot that I was making an effort not to cut the cheese.

The other instance was out at a drinking fountain on the football field, some girls were taking a helluva long time hogging the water fountain so I thought I'd go up to the side of it and shake it really good while they were drinking from it.   To assure that I made the thing shake really well I spread out my feet to get a good base for a nice stable platform to rock back and forth from, unfortunately the level of concentration needed to succesfully shake the fountain was so great that being able to maintain my focus and shake the fountain was no longer possible.   I managed to rip a pretty god one right there on the spot, interestingly enough I think that the air biscuit was a better motivator than my originally planned shaking of the water fountain.   Go figure.





My dad is a high school teacher and about 2 years back he made mention of this damned kid that he had in his class who would constantly rip farts in his class.   After about 2 weeks of this my dad shipped the kid down to the dean's office on a refferal, it's gotta be too funny for the class to sit there and watch the kid get sent out with a refferal that recommends that he heavily medicate himself on "Bean-O" or that he go out and find an appropriate sized cork.

I can't believe i'm going to post this:

when I was in high school, I used to let silent; rotten-egg like farts go when we were walking in the halls between classes.  There were so many people around, no one ever knew my secret.