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Posted: 4/11/2007 6:59:12 AM EST
There are a number of "women-only" gyms around town. Yet, there are plenty of good-looking single women who workout at the Y. I'm always wondering if the single women who work out in co-ed gyms do so to meet guys, and if so are they waiting for guys to hit on them or what?

I have no doubt some are there just to workout and maybe even to show off a little, but I have to imagine a large percentage of women could be going to the gym everyday hoping to meet a guy. Am I way off base about this or what? I know if one of these babes started talking to me, I'd be completely comfortable talking about going out sometime, so is this just me or are some women in the Y thinking the same thing?

Additionally, is there anything wrong with going up and asking a woman in the gym out? Is there anything to look for that indicates she's "fishing" versus just there to workout? I've been too chickenshit to attempt a go at it, but it's been on my mind.

-tanks
Link Posted: 4/11/2007 8:17:37 AM EST
When I was single I went to the gym to work out.  I got to know the regulars very well and I chatted daily with several and one of the ladies I ran next to on a tredmill I met occassionally for lunch.  If one of the guys I chatted with regularly would have asked me out I would most likely have accepted but my main objective was to work out.  YMMV

Patty
Link Posted: 4/11/2007 8:38:49 AM EST

I was a gym rat at Gold's for years. I never picked anybody up (damn delts were never strong enough! )

I went to coed gyms because I wanted to train hard and alot of girl gyms don't train, they "work."
Now, did I see folks flirting? Yep.
Did I? Nope.
Ok...I will admit to ONE outloud uttered "Thaboosalabob," when a particular man spoke to me, but as God as my witness, I had no control over that.

Is there anything wrong with making a new friend or asking a girl out? No.
How can you tell if they're there to "fish?"

Easy:
Fishing:
Makeup, coiffed hair and real cutsie outfits that they have NEVER perspired on.
It's the God's honest truth!
Not Fishing:
When I went, it was a ponytail, whatever makeup was still on my face after 8 hours at the office and shorts and a sportsbra with a wifebeater over it---none looking April fresh.

Good luck!




Link Posted: 4/11/2007 11:00:09 AM EST
I would personally never get a membership at one of the "women's only" gyms, and it has nothing to do with flirting or lack thereof with the other sex.  I think the whole reason they were created was so that some of the women of the previous generations (my mother for example would NOT feel comfortable working out in front of a bunch of men...) and women who are reeeeeally uncomfortable with their bodies/lack of fitness could have a place to work out where they wouldn't feel "gawked at."

I think very few gyms are meat markets.  Most cater to the masses, and occasionally folks will find a date or two there- you know, birds of a feather... and all that.  But just because someone is attractive and goes to a co-ed gym, doesn't mean they're waiting to be hit on.  Go ahead and ask them out if you want to, but it's just like asking a girl out anywhere else.

I can tell you this, I certainly never went to a gym to get a date- and with the way I'd end up huffing and puffing, hair plastered to my head with sweat... that LAST thing I'd want would've been to meet some hot guy when I was looking like crap after a workout.
Link Posted: 4/11/2007 4:41:23 PM EST

Quoted:

When I went, it was a ponytail, whatever makeup was still on my face after 8 hours at the office and shorts and a sportsbra with a wifebeater over it---none looking April fresh.





That cracked me up!



Link Posted: 4/11/2007 5:15:45 PM EST

Quoted:

I was a gym rat at Gold's for years. I never picked anybody up (damn delts were never strong enough! )

I went to coed gyms because I wanted to train hard and alot of girl gyms don't train, they "work."
Now, did I see folks flirting? Yep.
Did I? Nope.
Ok...I will admit to ONE outloud uttered "Thaboosalabob," when a particular man spoke to me, but as God as my witness, I had no control over that.

Is there anything wrong with making a new friend or asking a girl out? No.
How can you tell if they're there to "fish?"

Easy:
Fishing:
Makeup, coiffed hair and real cutsie outfits that they have NEVER perspired on.
It's the God's honest truth!
Not Fishing:
When I went, it was a ponytail, whatever makeup was still on my face after 8 hours at the office and shorts and a sportsbra with a wifebeater over it---none looking April fresh.

Good luck!






Exactly!
Link Posted: 4/11/2007 6:13:45 PM EST

Quoted:
There are a number of "women-only" gyms around town. Yet, there are plenty of good-looking single women who workout at the Y. I'm always wondering if the single women who work out in co-ed gyms do so to meet guys, and if so are they waiting for guys to hit on them or what?


The "women-only" gyms were created more for the women who aren't considered the "good-looking single women" with the great bodies.  Some lady who is 50lbs. overweight and inexperienced with exercise equipment might be more motivated to keep exercising if there is some place without guys around to gawk at her less-than-supermodel-figure and more women who are in the same boat she's in.  It can be a great support for her.
Link Posted: 4/11/2007 6:23:58 PM EST
i go to a wimminz only gym (Curves) for the same reason i went to a wimminz only college

to do what i need to do without all the bullshit of dealing with wimminz getting stupid about the men

and wimminz only gyms are not solely for "overweight, inexperienced" wimminz--there are PLENTY of "in shape" wimminz who come to Curves of ALL ages

so stick your uninformed stereotypes in your asses, asshats  
Link Posted: 4/11/2007 7:32:08 PM EST
I have been a member of both types of gyms. Both have their pros and cons. I have found that I prefer running at the local lake.  No social interaction at all (I get plenty of that at work thank you.)  

However, I always looked at the co-ed gym like I did every other place where there are both men and women. If you are attracted to someone and want to strike up a friendship, give it a whirl.  Who cares if she is "fishing" versus "working out"?  Do you base your interest in a woman on how easy she might be. Good God, Man, set your sights a little higher!!  

One thing about women -- we will certainly let you know if we are NOT interested! Good luck!!

Could this possibly be the beginnings of another "AS ARFCOM TURNS" thread?  Me thinks . . .
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 2:55:38 AM EST

Quoted:
i go to a wimminz only gym (Curves) for the same reason i went to a wimminz only college

to do what i need to do without all the bullshit of dealing with wimminz getting stupid about the men

and wimminz only gyms are not solely for "overweight, inexperienced" wimminz--there are PLENTY of "in shape" wimminz who come to Curves of ALL ages

so stick your uninformed stereotypes in your asses, asshats  


Um wow.
I hope my saying that girl's gyms don't train as hard didn't prompt this. But if it did, I apologize.
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 5:11:13 AM EST

Quoted:

Quoted:
i go to a wimminz only gym (Curves) for the same reason i went to a wimminz only college

to do what i need to do without all the bullshit of dealing with wimminz getting stupid about the men

and wimminz only gyms are not solely for "overweight, inexperienced" wimminz--there are PLENTY of "in shape" wimminz who come to Curves of ALL ages

so stick your uninformed stereotypes in your asses, asshats  


Um wow.
I hope my saying that girl's gyms don't train as hard didn't prompt this. But if it did, I apologize.


usually if threads irritate me, i just choose to ignore them--but there was enough crap in this thread that i felt the need to reply

take it how you will
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 6:13:15 AM EST

Quoted:

Quoted:

When I went, it was a ponytail, whatever makeup was still on my face after 8 hours at the office and shorts and a sportsbra with a wifebeater over it---none looking April fresh.





That cracked me up!





You have no idea how out of touch with fashion that makes you sound.  I think the term came from the old TV sitcom "The HoneyMooners"
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 7:32:41 AM EST

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

When I went, it was a ponytail, whatever makeup was still on my face after 8 hours at the office and shorts and a sportsbra with a wifebeater over it---none looking April fresh.





That cracked me up!





You have no idea how out of touch with fashion that makes you sound.  I think the term came from the old TV sitcom "The HoneyMooners"


I've heard the term before, but I always think of some overweight smelly GUY wearing one.  Hearing a woman (especially a married one) talking about wearing a wife-beater just sounds really funny to me.




(But, I will admit that I am probably horribly out of touch in terms of fashion.  Right now I'm at the office, wearing jeans, a "major league infidel" shirt and kung fu shoes )

Link Posted: 4/12/2007 8:08:54 AM EST

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
i go to a wimminz only gym (Curves) for the same reason i went to a wimminz only college

to do what i need to do without all the bullshit of dealing with wimminz getting stupid about the men

and wimminz only gyms are not solely for "overweight, inexperienced" wimminz--there are PLENTY of "in shape" wimminz who come to Curves of ALL ages

so stick your uninformed stereotypes in your asses, asshats  


Um wow.
I hope my saying that girl's gyms don't train as hard didn't prompt this. But if it did, I apologize.


usually if threads irritate me, i just choose to ignore them--but there was enough crap in this thread that i felt the need to reply

take it how you will


Well, as I said, saying girls' gyms don't train as hard was not meant to slam you or anyone. I'll re-phrase it to say that the girl's gym I belonged to (Women's World) offered nowhere near the level of training I received as a co-ed gym (Gold's) member.


Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

When I went, it was a ponytail, whatever makeup was still on my face after 8 hours at the office and shorts and a sportsbra with a wifebeater over it---none looking April fresh.





That cracked me up!





You have no idea how out of touch with fashion that makes you sound.  I think the term came from the old TV sitcom "The HoneyMooners"


I've heard the term before, but I always think of some overweight smelly GUY wearing one.  Hearing a woman (especially a married one) talking about wearing a wife-beater just sounds really funny to me.




(But, I will admit that I am probably horribly out of touch in terms of fashion.  Right now I'm at the office, wearing jeans, a "major league infidel" shirt and kung fu shoes )



Actually around these parts, we call them "Guinea T's." As a person of Italian heritage (and Irish and Armenian) the term does not bother me... But, since I didn't wanna piss anybody else off today, I used the term "wifebeater."
Now that I train at home, I train in either my jammies or just the shorts and sports bra since I don't have to be self conscious of, er...well...um.... the nipple + cold phenomenon.

Link Posted: 4/12/2007 10:54:21 AM EST
Some women are comfortable enough with their bodies to be in a co-ed gym.  Some don't mind getting hit on.  There are a multitude of reasons.

I, however, am not comfortable at all being in a Bally or a 24 Hour Fitness.  Battling for treadmills, being completely intimidated by the gym junkies whose bodies are bloody unbelievable, and the question I hate more than anything: "are you done with that machine yet?"

My exercise class is not women's only but it's 99% women anyway.  All shapes and sizes, and I've never felt uncomfortable there at all.  And by God, is it a killer workout.
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 11:04:04 AM EST
Boy am I a dummy, I like the all "worked out" and "sweaty" women @ the gym better than the "prettied up ones". I know one fairly well, a waitress. MAN.......I saw her all cleaned up @ a bar w/my GF there and barely recognized her. You women here have helped this DumbFU%$er of a guy see the light w/women more than once! TIA
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 3:45:44 PM EST

Quoted:

Quoted:
i go to a wimminz only gym (Curves) for the same reason i went to a wimminz only college

to do what i need to do without all the bullshit of dealing with wimminz getting stupid about the men

and wimminz only gyms are not solely for "overweight, inexperienced" wimminz--there are PLENTY of "in shape" wimminz who come to Curves of ALL ages

so stick your uninformed stereotypes in your asses, asshats  
Psst - the ads that Curves runs markets to that stereotype.  Blame Curves for the perception, not the asshats.




tell me which of these ads "market to" a stereotype of "overweight, inexperienced women who are uncomfortable with their bodies"
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 3:50:03 PM EST
Link Posted: 4/12/2007 10:22:25 PM EST
Basic point: treat women anywhere as if they have a right to be there for their own purposes and not because they are looking for a date, not because they are there for display entertainment for men.

Because ................ they do have a right to be there.

Now, on gyms, I gave up on them years ago because they were either a scam or they soon went the way of place to work out to massive social club or both. I would never join the Q because of their published dress code for while I am not there to be free hands visual entertainment, I am there because I feel good about my body and I dress accordingly. But if I have to hide it all under a sweatshirt, why bother?

So ....... darned if you do, darned if you don't.

Then again, look at it this way. Would you approach a woman at a pistol range and ask her for a date?

The way I approach organized sport activities is that I go to places where I can concentrate, get lost in that activity I am doing, and if I need to be looking over my shoulder for perceived threats on any level ........ then I need to be someplace else.
--------------------------------------------------------
("Please don't (select your floor) because he (my little boy) likes to push the buttons."--Mother with boy
"Well, so do I!"--Miranda, pushing her floor, declaring a TOUGH! statement at family day at her gym, (w,stte), "Sex and the City")
Link Posted: 4/13/2007 4:46:01 PM EST
I go to my university gym...

you have your typical like stated above. makeup,  hair down (what girl works out with their hair down!) cute outfits that match.. and etc..  

and then you have the other girls that are there to be in shape.  

i actually enjoy going to the gym with the guys.. i like watching the guys.. Im married; not there to pick up anyone nor oggle .. but i like to see how they all work out differently and then i pick up little tid bits here and there and try them my way.. most of the time if a guy is helping a girl train, i watch and then try myself just to switch things up and break up the monotony
Link Posted: 4/18/2007 4:57:24 AM EST
I have been going to the gym for a few years now.  I know some of the *HOT* women that either work there or are there to just work out.  I have gotten number from women at the gym before and even went out with a couple.  Its no big deal, just ask.

With that said, timing and appropriateness is a key factor.  I have seen guys trying to flirt with women when they are mid-set.  This is a BIG no-no, never interupt anyone in this middle of a set.  If you do this, you will surely not get on her good side (also it can be dangerous).  The best times to talk to a women who is there to workout is when they are on their way out (leaving) or at the water fountain.  Occasionally, if I am doing a set that I know I won't have a problem doing, I will ask a woman (usually one I am interested in) to spot me.  This breaks the ice a bit and gives you a bit of time to talk breifly with them in the rest period.

Thats my 2 cents...
Link Posted: 4/18/2007 5:13:46 AM EST
I belong to a co-ed gym.  It's convenient, near work, and the price is right, and it's small and comfortable.  I don't like the huge Bally or Gold's type gyms, because I hate the feeling that I don't belong, or that I'm taking a machine from someone else.  I also don't like the girls that stand around talking to guys the whole time. I'm there to work out.  That's all.  If other folks want to stand around and talk and flirt, that's their business.  I hardly even talk to anyone else, just do my thing and leave.  I'm not there to get hit on, or flirt, whatever.  I'm not looking my best, I'm focused on my workout, and I could care less what I look like.  

As a matter of fact, I find it's mostly the GUYS that hang around.  Do a set.  then sit for 15 minutes and stare in the mirrors.

I've never been to a curves, but I have done the similiar circuit training in a gym, and it is quite a workout.
Link Posted: 4/18/2007 1:02:51 PM EST
During the week I go at 6:30am.  For anyone who doesn't like the big busy gyms GO IN THE EARLY MORNING.

I have almost all of the equipment to myself.  

I am the same as PM down to the wifebeater.  

As was also mentioned, do NOT try to talk to me midset.  I had one guy do that and it pissed me off so bad that I paused mid lift and told him in no uncertain terms to get the F away from me and then finished my set.  

Not my finest moment but he was oblivious to how irritated I was and was actually crowding me.

On the weekends I sometimes meet up with my best girl friend and we work out together.  Those last for a couple hours because we do chat and also lift until we can't move for two days.  
Link Posted: 4/18/2007 1:20:50 PM EST
... Very little socializing goes on at my gym from what I can tell. Been going on and off to many different ones for years, and this particular place is a seemingly mature, discrete crowd. Sure, folks are friendly, but I certainly don't see much flirting or skirt-chasing. The place is very clean and family oriented with a busy day-care center for working moms.

... On a side note, my "gym hour" is one of my favorite times of the day. It's truly a mental escape for me. It is usually the best I feel all day - until I'm with my sweetie at least
Link Posted: 4/18/2007 6:33:44 PM EST
I go my local college gym...and I was maxing out on biceps and triceps that day.  There were these two cute girls that were doing the biceps next to me, nothing serious, but just because they were there I lifted 10 more pounds that what I had intended to do...they kept looking at me.  Whichever one wasn't doing the exercise felt like it was there duty to watch me like a hawk.  135lbs never felt so light

So thank you women for going to the gym.  I really like it when you "run" on the olipticals...but when I see you on the flat bench throwing up over 100lbs...I have to turn away.  
Link Posted: 4/18/2007 6:41:14 PM EST
Someone posted before, that if you were going to chat someone up, do it politely as they are getting done or are done.

Don't be a boorish boob.  It would suck to drive someone away from the gym because they don't want to deal with asshats when they are tryng to keep in shape to prevent medical conditions.  

That being said, I've more than once been caught with my head on full swivel.  It wasn't my fault thought.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 9:31:33 AM EST
Over the years, I've both worked out and been on staff at both co-ed and female only gyms.

Currently I teach a yoga class at the female only place.

People go to gyms for a variety of reasons -- gyms of both kinds.  Some but not all of the members at the gals-only gym do fit the stereotype -- maybe about 1/4th or 1/2 of them are grossly overweight and/or extremely shy about their bodies.  

A lot go there for the extras that are available like getting a massage or facial.

Some just like the more "let your hair down" atmosphere.

Because we generally do feel more compelled to 'doll it up' -- do our hair, dress in classier gear, dab the make up on  -- when any guys are going to be checking us out no matter whether we are in the market or not.

I'd say at a co-ed gym, if a gal is dressed strictly for function in comfortable workout clothes, keeps her nose to the grindstone during her work out, doesn't make much eye contact with others, etc, then she isn't going to be receptive to an approach by any guy.

But if a gal is dressed in gear that is more flattering than necessary for a good workout, takes her time kind of lingering around, and makes eye-contact with a lot of other people, then she is probably there to socialise as much as to work out.

It's the same as guys who are in the market for female companionship often linger around the supermarket and dress a bit nicer than to just dash in on a mission to grab foodstuffs.

Personal Note -- My guy has always worked out a lot, and he's told me that back before we got together, he used to try to get aquainted with a lot of various gals at gyms.  He says that in each and every case, no exceptions -- when a gal in a gym is receptive to meeting a guy, she is the one who does the approach.  The reason being that there are so many ways for a gal to 'innocently' strike up a conversation with a guy.  Like "Gosh, you really look like you know what you're doing.  Could you show me how you use that machine you just got through with?"

And a lot of guys get politely un-invited from gyms for making unwelcome advances to women.  

One complaint from a female patron, and the guy will get the evil-eye from staff every time he comes in.  More than one complaint and he's probably history.  (of course every gym has there own policy)  Of course good-looking guys who approach women can be a lot bolder than fat old geezers.  

About the most 'forward' line I would recommend is "Would you like for me to spot you on those weights?"

Make any comments oriented strictly towards working out and fitness in general -- definitely not about her appearance.  Ie, you could compiment her on her 'form' in lifting weights, but not in her 'form' as in her shapeliness.

Thoroughly confused?

Just give likely gals a LOT of OPPORTUNITY to make eye contact and for HER to start up a conversation.  

And when in doubt -- don't.

Oh another thing -- Befriend the staff!!!  They will likely know who is or isn't available.  They can also tell you who's a maneating bitch on the prowl for a sugar daddy, and who sleeps with the local thugs and needs an industrial-strength douche with lysol.

Staff trainers get real bored and generally love to gossip.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 9:54:25 AM EST
.
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 12:11:16 PM EST
Wow, there is just buckets of good advice in this thread. Thanks a million for the awesome responses ladies! Keep 'em coming if you have more to add!

I feel eleventy million times more informed about this issue now and I have a much better perspective about going to the gym as a single guy than I did before!

I'm glad I asked (the ladies of) arfcom first!
Link Posted: 4/19/2007 3:40:49 PM EST

Quoted:
So thank you women for going to the gym.  I really like it when you "run" on the olipticals...but when I see you on the flat bench throwing up over 100lbs...I have to turn away.  


There was this girl in my Highschool 1 year below me that Boxed, and she was actually really cute, and shapely, she told me that she could bench 135.... I was actually impressed becauase she was fit not body builder woman which is gross
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 9:03:51 AM EST
Now keep in mind this was over a decade ago but when I went to womens gyms I got bad information and the equipment wasn't as nice. What few freewts there were were so light, I don't think there was a dumbell over 15lbs, if that.

I was a golds gym member for years and liked that, now I am a Y member and like that more. The Y I go to has regular people, there are a few really muscualar folks but not as many that wear that clown pants and stuff, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's more of a fitness atmosphere instead of a looks atomsphere. I miss the layout of the golds gym though.

A couple of my friends go to curves and love it. The womens gym I went to was way before curves, I don't think there is a comparrison.
<­BR>




Oh, I don't go to meet anybody, I don't even talk to anyone. I do what I have to then leave. I like coed gyms because I have the option of slamming the iron around. I do like to check out the folks when I'm on the elliptical.
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 11:44:35 AM EST
"Thaboosalabob?" whassat?
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 1:42:40 PM EST

Quoted:
"Thaboosalabob?" whassat?


There's an old thread somewhere in archive that gives great detail of its embarrassing meaning.

In a nutshell, the guy who spoke to me was drop dead perfect and my articulation as well as my brain flew out of my head.


I've since regained my articulation.
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 1:57:19 PM EST

Quoted:
I go my local college gym...and I was maxing out on biceps and triceps that day.  There were these two cute girls that were doing the biceps next to me, nothing serious, but just because they were there I lifted 10 more pounds that what I had intended to do...they kept looking at me.  Whichever one wasn't doing the exercise felt like it was there duty to watch me like a hawk.  135lbs never felt so light

So thank you women for going to the gym.  I really like it when you "run" on the olipticals...but when I see you on the flat bench throwing up over 100lbs...I have to turn away.  



Actually, your fly was open.  That's why they were staring.  



CJ

Link Posted: 4/21/2007 2:02:14 PM EST

Quoted:
Over the years, I've both worked out and been on staff at both co-ed and female only gyms.

Currently I teach a yoga class at the female only place.

People go to gyms for a variety of reasons -- gyms of both kinds.  Some but not all of the members at the gals-only gym do fit the stereotype -- maybe about 1/4th or 1/2 of them are grossly overweight and/or extremely shy about their bodies.  

A lot go there for the extras that are available like getting a massage or facial.

Some just like the more "let your hair down" atmosphere.

Because we generally do feel more compelled to 'doll it up' -- do our hair, dress in classier gear, dab the make up on  -- when any guys are going to be checking us out no matter whether we are in the market or not.

I'd say at a co-ed gym, if a gal is dressed strictly for function in comfortable workout clothes, keeps her nose to the grindstone during her work out, doesn't make much eye contact with others, etc, then she isn't going to be receptive to an approach by any guy.

But if a gal is dressed in gear that is more flattering than necessary for a good workout, takes her time kind of lingering around, and makes eye-contact with a lot of other people, then she is probably there to socialise as much as to work out.

It's the same as guys who are in the market for female companionship often linger around the supermarket and dress a bit nicer than to just dash in on a mission to grab foodstuffs.

Personal Note -- My guy has always worked out a lot, and he's told me that back before we got together, he used to try to get aquainted with a lot of various gals at gyms.  He says that in each and every case, no exceptions -- when a gal in a gym is receptive to meeting a guy, she is the one who does the approach.  The reason being that there are so many ways for a gal to 'innocently' strike up a conversation with a guy.  Like "Gosh, you really look like you know what you're doing.  Could you show me how you use that machine you just got through with?"

And a lot of guys get politely un-invited from gyms for making unwelcome advances to women.  

One complaint from a female patron, and the guy will get the evil-eye from staff every time he comes in.  More than one complaint and he's probably history.  (of course every gym has there own policy)  Of course good-looking guys who approach women can be a lot bolder than fat old geezers.  

About the most 'forward' line I would recommend is "Would you like for me to spot you on those weights?"

Make any comments oriented strictly towards working out and fitness in general -- definitely not about her appearance.  Ie, you could compiment her on her 'form' in lifting weights, but not in her 'form' as in her shapeliness.

Thoroughly confused?

Just give likely gals a LOT of OPPORTUNITY to make eye contact and for HER to start up a conversation.  

And when in doubt -- don't.

Oh another thing -- Befriend the staff!!!  They will likely know who is or isn't available.  They can also tell you who's a maneating bitch on the prowl for a sugar daddy, and who sleeps with the local thugs and needs an industrial-strength douche with lysol.
Staff trainers get real bored and generally love to gossip.


Psyops please don't couch your words.  Some of us need straight talk.  

Too funny coming from a lady!!  Thanks I needed that!
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