YOu people are ASSHOLES OF THE FIRST ORDER!!!!!!!!
I really mean that.
I work on a farm, and jerking off (or "Intrasectional Speramatozoa manipulation") Is a noble and time honored profession! You think it's easy to get a pig to ejaculate into a jar?? try it some time. Just getting the right "female mating call" can take years for a human to perfect. Some like the Female dominatrix pig voice, some like the bubbly blonde type pig voice! And they are picky when it comes to porno movies. Put on the wrong one and they bite your hand instead of putting their dick into it. They seem to like Jenna Jamison and the old school pigs prefer Ginger Lynn. Huh go figure
. And that is just pigs! Other animals are even harder to jerk off. We have one throughbred horse that is a "homophobe". He won't let any of the Male employees near his penis at the jerkoff rodeo. You try it and you get a hoof in the mouth. The only one who can do it is a 85 pound brunette from France!! Her technique is to sing the french national anthem while wearing a velvet glove and Beret. But since his sperm goes for $10000 an ounce we do whatever works. You'd think we'd sell the stuff to breeders, but we usually don't. Most of the time it is to private citizens and when they fill out the form to explain the reason for the purchase, instead of filling in the Breeding or the scientific research box they usually check the 'other use' box.
Of course the hottest trend is now to breed Camels!! They go for quite a lot in the Middle east. But no American could grab their penis without getting spit on and bitten. They love to spit. So we had to hire Arabs from Jordan to jerk off the camels. Our newest employee Abdul is a master! He told me he's been "sexing" camels since he was 7. Evidently in the middle east people start working at an earlier age. It seems that stroking Camel cock is an old Islamic tradition...................